Preface

oh, it's you
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/55199470.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
Gen
Fandom:
陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Relationships:
Lan Jingyi & Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui, background WangXian
Characters:
Lan Jingyi, Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui
Additional Tags:
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, fork in the road, WangXian.mp3, Identity Reveal, POV Lan Jingyi, Humor, minor gay panic (but not really), no AI
Language:
English
Series:
Part 8 of cql what if...
Stats:
Published: 2024-04-14 Words: 1,550 Chapters: 1/1

oh, it's you

Summary

What if—as terrible as WWX’s rendition of wangxian.mp3 was—the melody stuck in LJY’s head and he hummed it when they cleaned up in the Mo manor? LWJ hears it and promptly freaks the fuck out.

Jingyi is just scared (albeit a bit horny) when SIZHUI’S DAD keeps giving him that kind of looks.

Notes

I was supposed to be editing my last year's nano. Instead, I wrote this in about 1,5hrs and now posted it with minimal editing. Enjoy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh, it's you

So the crazy nephew took off and now all that’s left is clean up.

Typical.

Lan Jingyi isn’t afraid of hard work—he can’t be considering he’s the second most accomplished junior of his generation. Rules tell him not to be prideful but fuck that, he knows he’s good and only bested by Sizhui who’s So Good on a whole other level that Jingyi is more than okay to lose to him.

Anyway, clean up.

There was something very weird (wrong) about the crazy nephew and it keeps nagging at him as he works. The way he talked, the way his eyes lit up when he saw the spirit lure flags, the way he seemingly effortlessly flung an errant talisman here, another there. And the song! It had been terrible, horrible, not good, and now it’s stuck in Jingyi’s head!

He growls a bit under his breath as he realizes he’s—again!—humming That Melody.

On the other side of the yard, Hanguang-jun promptly walks into a wall.

 


 

It’s to be pointed out that Jingyi is a healthy teenage boy. The Lan sect might be viewed as a bunch of prudes but in truth, they offer an exhaustive lesson plan covering intimate relations for all disciples over the age of fifteen. Sure, said relations are meant to be reserved for one’s cultivation partner only. (That’s where the no promiscuity rule comes from; you’re not to run around willy-nilly fucking everything that moves, but with your own cultivation partner? Go for it as much and as often as you want, assuming it doesn’t affect your sect duties.) That said, the lesson also encourages the disciples to learn their own bodies because apparently, you cannot please your cultivation partner if you don’t know what pleases you, or something. 

The point is, Jingyi is a disciple who is mostly serious about his lessons and this lesson isn’t an exception. He’s used to pondering what he finds pleasing but in a more theoretical sense and that’s alright. He’s in no hurry so he isn’t worried he’s yet to encounter someone who desires him. 

It’s part of the reason why Hanguang-jun’s intense eyes on him make him feel flushed with mortification and hot under the collar.

The other part is that that’s Sizhui’s dad!

 


 

”What’s troubling you?” Sizhui asks as they make their way to the Dafan Mountain. ”You’ve been quiet and you’re never quiet.”

”First of all, rude,” Jingyi says automatically. He had yet another deeply weird encounter with Hanguang-jun that morning and it left him both a bit scared and horny, and he doesn’t like that because that’s Sizhui’s dad!

”Jingyi,” Sizhui chides.

Instead of answering, he steps off the trail and into the woods and proceeds to bang his head softly into a tree.  Behind him, Sizhui lets out a distressed noise and gives some terse commands to the rest of the group before making his way to Jingyi.

”I can’t say it,” Jingyi says as Sizhui opens his mouth. ”My face isn’t thick enough. I can’t. Don’t make me.”

Sizhui blinks and says slowly, ”I was just about to ask if you wanted to sit down?”

”Oh. Yeah.” He sits down and buries his face in his hands.

After a moment of companionable silence, Sizhui asks, ”Are you alright?”

”No!” Jingyi wails. ”No, I’m not! I’m terrible! And scared! And horny! Because of your dad! And I don’t understand why!” Then he slaps his hands over his mouth and gives Sizhui a wide-eyed look of absolute horror.

”I—”

”No, shut up! I’m sorry—!”

”Jingyi,” Sizhui says patiently. ”It’s alright. I’m not blind or deaf—I’ve accompanied Hanguang-jun enough times to know how he attracts attention even though he never does anything to warrant it.” He shrugs, a bit helplessly. ”It’s just how he is. And the fact that he isn’t married apparently makes him even more, uh, alluring.”

”I’m not attracted to Hanguang-jun!” Jingyi yelps because—well, no, that’s a bit of a lie because honestly, Hanguang-jun is fine, but also, again, repeatedly, Sizhui’s dad.

”Then why—”

”He’s attracted to me!”

There’s a beat of utter silence and then Sizhui says, faintly, ”What?”

”Exactly!” Jingyi wails.

”No, seriously, what?” Sizhui repeats. ”You?”

”What do you mean, ’me?’ Wait—no, never mind.” Jingyi pushes his fingers into his hair and yanks a bit as he bangs his head onto his knees. ”I don’t understand. I really don’t. It makes no sense and yet—” He lets out a frustrated moan.

Next to him, he hears a thud and from the corner of his eye, he sees Sizhui sit down in an inelegant heap. He’s never seen his friend sit like that but it isn’t every day you hear your dad is into someone your own age. Which is a teenager. Because they’re teenagers.

Fffffuuuuck.

”When did it start?” Sizhui asks. ”Or when did you notice?”

”Uh. In the Mo manor? I think?” He tilts his head and thinks back and—yeah. ”We were on clean-up duty. I was picking up the discarded spirit lure flags when I heard a thump and when I turned to look, Hanguang-jun was staring at me across the yard with a…look.”

Sizhui lets out a hum, sounding a bit like his dad. ”Did you do anything else?”

”Like what?” Jingyi snorts. ”I wasn’t wiggling my ass at him if that’s what you mean.”

Sizhui closes his eyes for a moment with a pained sigh. ”Please, don’t.”

”What? I wasn’t! And I wouldn’t, I swear.” Then he pauses and frowns. ”No, wait.” A flash of trepidation flickers across Sizhui’s face and he waves a frantic hand at him. ”No, no, I don’t mean—eww. I just remembered I was humming.”

”Humming?”

”Mn. Remember the crazy guy with the mask?” When Sizhui nods, Jingyi waves his finger at him, agitated. ”The song he played? That terrible off-tune thing? I was humming that, and the next thing I know, your DAD is giving me indecent looks like he wanted to strip me naked and have his wicked way with me.”

Sizhui looks a bit green but rallies on anyway. ”So, it might be the song?”

”Don’t—”

”What if I—”

”—you dare!”

They stare at each other for a moment, and then Jingyi says, ”Sizhui, you will NOT hum the song that made your dad look at me with lust.”

”But what if it’s a curse?”

”All the more reason for you to stay the fuck silent!” Jingyi yells.

His friend frowns and shakes his head. ”Something about it was strangely familiar, though,” he muses. ”Almost like I’d heard it before but I don’t remember where…”

”Yeah, but no,” Jingyi says flatly. 

He’s willing to bear this burden to spare his friend from a more terrible fate because he’s selfless like that.

 


 

He sort of forgets about it when they reach the Dafan Mountain and then there’s an enraged dancing goddess and creepy caves and Jin fucking Ling and, oh, the crazy guy is back—except that he’s definitely not crazy because no crazy person would be able to come up with stuff like that, and then he steals Jingyi’s sword and makes a dizi and—

—Well, fuck.

 


 

So, to be completely honest, seeing the indecent looks aimed at someone else isn’t any less disturbing but at last Jingyi can be rest assured that it never was about him. (If he’s being totally completely honest, though, he is maybe slightly a tiny bit disappointed because having Hanguang-jun’s utter, intense focus was heady. But also, eww, because Sizhui’s dad.) Anyway, Hanguang-jun picked the not-crazy guy up like a damsel in distress which…was not that far off, considering the guy was in quite a lot of distress after Sect Leader Jiang whipped him for some reason. And since Hanguang-jun sped away on his sword, Sizhui, Jingyi, and the rest of the juniors are left with a lot of confusion and a braying donkey that is probably a demon in donkey form.

But it’s okay.

Everything is okay.

”Jingyi,” Sizhui whispers at him that night as they’re washing their hands and faces in a stream before going to bed. ”I think I know who that man is.”

”Who? The crazy cutsleeve guy?” Jingyi quips. He has a feeling what Sizhui is talking about because a dizi and Ghost General can only mean one person and he isn’t sure he’s willing to think about that.

Sizhui gives him a dry look and shakes his head. ”You know as well as I that he wasn’t crazy,” he murmurs. ”And I’ve never seen Father look at anyone like that.”

”Except for me,” Jingyi points out.

”Jingyi,” Sizhui sighs, exasperated. 

”What? He did!” Jingyi hisses indignantly. ”Back when he thought I was, uh, possessed…? Or something?”

And isn’t that a thought. Wow.

”So. Apparently, your dad is in love with Yiling Laozu?” Jingyi whispers a moment later. Sizhui looks at him without a reply, eyes wide and slightly lost. It makes something clench in Jingyi’s chest so naturally he has to do something to make it better. ”Your life is so much more exciting than mine. I’m jealous.”

Sizhui pushes him into the stream which is all well and good because that means the lost look is gone from his eyes.

Jingyi is such a good friend.

Afterword

End Notes

LWJ when he hears LJY hum wangxian.mp3: oh no. oh no no no…but also, yes, because…Wei Ying?
LWJ when he hears MXY!WWX playing wangxian.mp3 on a bamboo dizi: oh thank fuck

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