Wei Wuxian was absolutely devastated he couldn’t attend Jiang Yanli’s wedding. He might’ve understood the reason why but still threw a tantrum that ended in Lan Wangji picking him up and carrying him into their recently renovated house and the sturdy bed that, surprisingly enough, hadn’t broken yet (not for their lack of trying, though). He and Lan Wangji ended up sending a beautifully written poem (by Lan Wangji) and a charm that was warded to Hell and back (by Wei Wuxian) to hang above their marital bed. They sent it through Zewu-jun because there was a very good chance it would’ve been ”mysteriously” lost in the way otherwise.
A couple of months after that, they received a warded letter from Zewu-jun informing them that Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli would be visiting them in the very near future. Wei Wuxian was ecstatic and cried a bit.
When the visitation finally happened, Luo Qingyang was happy Wei Wuxian would finally see his sister again but she’d rather get a bit more warning.
Or at least a friend with the common sense to fucking knock before barging in.
”Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Luo Qingyang exclaimed.
”What—Mian Mian—I—”
”Please go outside and shut the door behind you,” Wen Qing said in a surprisingly steady voice.
Zixuan let out a distressed noise and swayed on his feet as he turned around and nearly fell on his face in his hurry to flee the house.
Luo Qingyang rested her temple on Wen Qing’s knee. She’d been having such a fucking wonderful time eating her love out and then fucking Jin Zixuan had walked in on them. And now the mood was ruined. ”Do you want me to continue?” She asked even though she already knew what A-Qing would say.
”No,” she sighed. ”I guess we better go out and see what this is all about.”
”Yeah,” Luo Qingyang agreed. She pressed one gentle kiss on Wen Qing’s clit and promised, ”I’ll get back to you later,” before getting up.
One of the perks of not having a cock was that you could be incredibly turned on and still look presentable in public. Zixuan’s face, on the other hand, was burning so brightly that Luo Qingyang was momentarily worried it might catch on fire. She walked up to him and elbowed him on the side, enjoying herself immensely when he coughed and turned even redder when A-Qing made her way past him with a small nod.
”So, why are you visiting?” Luo Qingyang asked him when his face had mellowed from furious red to mostly pink.
”Yanli was worried,” Zixuan said. ”And a lot of what you wrote made too much sense. Now that she’s pregnant…” He paused and swallowed. ”I couldn’t bear it if something happened to her or the baby.”
”Makes sense,” Luo Qingyang said. ”Also, congratulations on successful ejaculation.”
Zixuan choked and turned to look at her with horrified eyes. ”Mian Mian,” he hissed.
”What?” She asked. ”You’re a married man now and evidently you have bedded your wife since she’s pregnant.” She gave him a narrow-eyed look. ”And I hope you understand that you coming inside her can’t really be counted as a chore. She’s the one who’s putting her life on the line to carry your child. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate and love her.”
He ducked his head. ”I do,” he muttered.
”I’m not the one who you should tell that,” she reminded him.
It made her a bit nostalgic, this back-and-forth bickering. Zixuan could be snobby and bone-headed but underneath all the posturing and haughty looks was a kind heart. You just had to dig a bit (a lot) to get to it. She was pretty sure she’d been the only one who talked to him so straightforwardly, not giving a shit about his status or behavior. She hoped Jiang Yanli kept him in check now that Luo Qingyang was no longer by his side.
”Speaking of which, where is your wife?”
Zixuan nodded at the cave. ”She’s talking to Wei Wuxian, something about needing to be a big sister. She looked determined when she said that,” he said, a slightly awed look in his eyes.
”Hm. I probably should follow her,” Luo Qingyang said. ”Me, A-Qing, and Jiang Yanli are going to team up against Wei Wuxian.”
”Why on earth—never mind,” Zixuan said. He stayed silent for a moment and then asked, awkward, ”So, you and Wen Qing—are you—”
”Fucking?” She interrupted cheerfully. ”Well, obviously. You walked in on us, after all.”
”I’m sorry—I—that was—”
She took pity on his red-faced stammering and gently patted his shoulder. ”We are together, yes. But also fucking. Quite a lot, actually. It’s nice, but you already knew that, married and such.” When he didn’t reply, she glanced over and narrowed her eyes at his constipated look. ”You are fucking, right?”
”Well…she’s pregnant,” he said and then mumbled, ”And I haven’t—not like—”
Luo Qingyang stared at him for a moment in disbelief. ”Do you mean to tell me, Jin Zixuan, son of Jin Guangshan, that you’ve never eaten your wife out? Please tell me you haven’t only had her on her back. Please.”
Zixuan looked like he wanted to either run to the hills (which, considering it was the Burial Mounds, wouldn’t end well) or sink to the ground (which, considering it was the Burial Mounds…would be only marginally better).
”What the fuck,” Luo Qingyang said with feeling. ”I—I’m not even sure what to say other than this is the saddest fucking thing I’ve heard for a while and I lived through Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s extreme pining.” She gave Zixuan a withering look and jabbed her finger on his chest. ”We’re getting back to this later.”
Jiang Yanli was awesome. If Luo Qingyang wasn’t in a committed, loving relationship with A-Qing, she would’ve fallen madly in love with Jiang Yanli instead. She was sweet, gentle, and absolutely ruthless in such a beautiful way that you didn’t even realize you had been manipulated to do exactly as she said, and when it finally hit you, you ended up feeling grateful for her intervention. And watching her oh-so-gently chide Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji was a thing of beauty. It made Luo Qingyang feel ashamed by proxy and she hadn’t even been present during those two making a mess of their lives.
Luo Qingyang wondered if it would be possible to extract some of that awesomeness and bottle it to be used in case of an emergency.
”I’m so happy you have finally found each other,” Jiang Yanli said with a beautiful smile, her beautiful eyes bright with tears as she gripped their hands in her beautiful, delicate hands. Wei Wuxian’s cheeks were wet and even Lan Wangji’s stoic face was soft. Luo Qingyang absolutely didn’t want to coo.
”And now the little one will have one more uncle to look after them,” Jiang Yanli said.
Wei Wuxian’s eyes went huge. ”Shijie?” He asked in a wavering voice and when Jiang Yanli’s smile grew radiant and she nodded, he burst into tears again.
Luo Qingyang felt her eyes prickle. Ugh. Feelings.
”Wait, Shijie, what if the Burial Mounds is harmful to the baby? I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s safe but what if it isn’t? What if something happened to them—Lan Zhan, can you check—”
”Wei Ying, that wouldn’t be proper—”
”You should check—I need to—Where’s Wen Qing—”
”A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli said, her voice firmer than earlier. ”It’s perfectly fine. We consulted Zewu-jun before coming here and he said it would be totally safe.” She tilted her head. ”But if it would ease your mind, Lan Wangji can make sure everything is alright.”
Lan Wangji blinked once. ”There’s no need—”
”If it makes A-Xian feel better, it’s perfectly fine,” she said and calmly offered her hand.
Lan Wangji inclined his head, took her hand, and carefully reached out with his spiritual energy. After a moment, he nodded, let go of her hand, and said, ”Everything seems to be fine.”
Wei Wuxian beamed and threw his arms around Jiang Yanli with such force that she rocked back a bit. He squeezed her quite hard for a while and then let go like he’d been burned. ”Sorry, sorry! I shouldn’t hug you so hard—”
Men. What the fuck made them think women turned into frail porcelain the moment they got pregnant? It was almost like they had no idea just how fucking hard pregnancy was to a body and how resilient, strong, and tenacious women really were.
Oh, right. They didn’t have a fucking clue.
”I really can’t thank you enough,” Jiang Yanli said to her, interrupting her thoughts. ”Not only are you an integral part of this small community and a valuable, dear friend to both A-Xian and Lan Wangji, but you’re also the reason we had the warning about Jin Zixun in time.”
”Well, he’s always been a turd,” she said with a shrug.
Jiang Yanli let out a small snort. Even that was beautiful. What even was this woman? (An absolute treasure, that’s what she was.)
”What are you going to do next?” A-Qing asked. ”You can’t stay here.” When Wei Wuxian let out an outraged sound, she rolled her eyes. ”I’m not throwing them out, you moron,” she said. ”The Burial Mounds isn’t a place to have a baby and the political implications would be way too much for any of us to handle. Visiting…yes. Having the next Jin heir be born on the enemy soil…not a bright idea.”
”You’re right,” Jiang Yanli said, holding Wei Wuxian’s hand in both of hers. ”We can’t stay in Lanling and we absolutely can’t stay here—in fact, they don’t even know we’re here.” She glanced at Lan Wangji. ”We made arrangements with your brother. Zewu-jun asked us to visit and as far as Lanling is aware, we’re in Gusu. The Lan healers made sure the pregnancy was progressing normally and gave me strengthening tea to drink before coming here. He’s covering for us and telling everyone we’re heading to Yunmeng next.” She glanced at Luo Qingyang. ”The disciples that accompany us are the ones you personally vouched for, Luo-guniang.”
Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes. ”Wait. Does anyone in Lanling even know about your pregnancy?”
Jiang Yanli shook her head. ”No. It’s still very early and frankly…we don’t trust them. We’re planning on going to Lotus Pier and announce the pregnancy there. And I’m afraid that by the time we get there, I’ll be too fragile to travel, having cramps and feeling nauseous all the time. I’ll need to have the baby in Yunmeng.”
Luo Qingyang snorted. Jiang Yanli looked radiant and healthy. ”I like the way your mind works,” she said with a sharp grin.
”Thank you,” Jiang Yanli said. Her smile was bashful and small but the glint in her eyes was familiar.
Yes, there was iron in her core and steel in her eyes. Luo Qingyang felt sorry for anyone who crossed her which was all the more reason to make sure Zixuan treated her right. Especially in bed.
”—and always use oil. Or spit. Or her natural lubrication, it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is to never go in with dry fingers unless she explicitly asks for it,” Luo Qingyang said tapping her finger at the clitoris on the diagram of female genitalia she’d drawn on the sand.
Zixun stared at her with wide eyes and bright red cheeks. Then he snuck a glance at the drawing, blinked, jerked his eyes away from it, and stared at her again.
”Questions?”
Zixuan’s throat worked as he swallowed. ”What if—” He cleared his throat and tried again. ”What if she doesn’t like it?”
”I’m sure she’ll tell you. Especially if you make sure you want her to feel good and ask her to tell you.”
Zixuan nodded.
”Just… it’s not an attack, Zixuan,” she said. ”Many places in our bodies—men and women alike—are sensitive. You already learned new things for her, I mean, you planted lotuses! I’m so fucking proud of you! You can learn this, too.” She brushed her hand over the sand to wipe the drawing away. ”And in case you didn’t know, women can come several times in a row. I know I said earlier that don’t you fucking dare to stop until you make her come but you should try to go on after that. See how much it takes until she’s a shivering mess of pleasure.”
Zixuan opened and closed his mouth and then finally managed to croak, ”Several times?”
Luo Qingyang shrugged. ”Yeah. Depends on the woman. Four, five, seven? You should find out.”
Seven, Zixuan mouthed, a dazed look in his eyes.
Luo Qingyang stifled a victorious grin. Gotcha!
Jiang Yanli charmed absolutely everyone. She listened to the worries of the elderly and nodded seriously at A-Yuan’s babbling explanations of the toys Jiang Wanyin had sent him. She cooked with Granny Wen and massaged Uncle Four’s aching wrists with a salve she just happened to have with her. But what endeared her to the Wen the most was the way her eyes shone and her lips curved to a genuinely adoring smile whenever she talked with Wei Wuxian.
It had taken Luo Qingyang about a day to understand how fiercely protective the Wen remnants were of Wei Wuxian. He’d given up everything to keep them safe and in return, they did what little they could to make him feel loved and at home. They all were his aunties and uncles, and by now, everyone had sort of accepted that A-Yuan was Wei Wuxian’s (and, by extension, Lan Wangji’s) son. So, when they saw Jiang Yanli’s open love for her brother, the Wen decided to adopt her as well.
Zixuan was clearly having some difficulties wrapping his mind around it but Luo Qingyang was pretty sure it was because he’d never received genuine affection without any underlying scheming. But since he also clearly was ridiculously in love with his wife, he stood a bit to the side and patiently watched as the Wen flocked around Jiang Yanli like she was a goddess worthy of worship.
(Which she totally was.)
”How is she doing that?” Luo Qingyang asked on the second day of their stay. ”You only arrived yesterday, for fuck’s sake!”
Zixuan shook his head. ”I don’t know. I don’t understand. She even made Zixun behave himself at a family dinner once. I don’t think he’s recovered yet.”
”Was it before or after we warned you?”
”Before,” Zixuan said and then he paused. ”Ah.”
”Yeah…he might’ve realized just how dangerous Jiang Yanli is for his plans.”
Something dark and violent flickered across Zixuan’s face. ”He can certainly try,” he said in a low voice.
Luo Qingyang let out a thoughtful noise. ”You probably should watch out for Jin Guangyao,” she said. ”And contact Nie Huaisang.”
Zixuan gave her a genuinely befuddled look. ”Why?”
”Because your half-brother has been afraid for his whole life and he’ll stop at nothing to not to be afraid anymore. And Nie Huaisang?” She snorted. ”He might claim he knows nothing and understands even less but I’m willing to bet my sword that he knows exactly what’s going on in each sect,” she said.
”Wait. Really?”
She grinned. ”Also, if you need inspiration, his erotic library is massive.”
Zixuan went bright red. ”Mian Mian,” he hissed, mortified, and practically ran from her.
A couple of weeks after they left, she got a long letter that started very nice and polite, and then it soon evolved into Jiang Yanli praising Luo Qingyang for teaching Zixuan how to properly treat a woman in bed. Some of the things Jiang Yanli described were things Luo Qingyang had mentioned but a lot of it was just Zixuan taking her advice on learning very, very seriously. Such a good boy, Zixuan, well done!
Two days after that, she got a short and succinct note that said,
Wasn’t it fucking enough that I had to listen to Wei Wuxian screaming Lan Wangji’s name? Now I have to listen to A-jie too? I fucking hate you so fucking much. Fuck you.
Luo Qingyang really felt the aggression pouring from the note was just slightly too excessive. Perhaps Sect Leader Jiang should, as they say, fuck it out of his system.
Yes.
She cocked her head and a slow smile spread on her lips.
Oh, yes, indeed.