”…I have made a grave mistake,” Tony groaned and shifted into a fetal position.
From his right, he heard an amused snort. Steve. The bastard.
”I can feel your disapproving stare, Cap,” he said haughtily. Or at least he tried but he couldn’t exactly manage tonal subtleties at the moment.
”Oh, really?” Steve asked innocently. ”And pray tell, what am I disapproving of this time?”
Tony pushed himself up from the couch a bit to glare at him but it was another mistake. Hurriedly, he settled back down, careful not to upset his stomach more than he already had.
”I didn’t quite catch that.”
”Oh, screw you,” Tony muttered. He closed his eyes, hoping against all hope the day was already over. Maybe he could call Strange and ask him to fiddle with the time a bit? Surely that couldn’t be too bad.
Steve let out a noncommittal sound. ”I don’t think you’re in any condition for that now. Perhaps later?”
His thoughts screeched to a halt.
”What?” he croaked.
Something shuffled and then Steve peered at him over the backrest. He was slightly flushed but he had his determined expression on. It never failed to turn Tony on a bit—except for now.
”But I’d like to take you out before the screwing part, if that’s alright with you.”
Tony gaped at him, unable to compose an answer.
Steve sighed. ”I can’t believe I need to ask this but… was it Natasha’s red velvet cake or me asking you out that struck you speechless?”
Tony frowned. ”It was excellent red velvet cake,” he said. ”Even though the mere thought of it makes me wanna puke.”
”No-one made you eat five slices, Tony,” Steve pointed out. ”You chose this yourself.”
”Such cruelty,” Tony sniffed. ”I don’t think I can go out with such a monster.”
”Poor you,” Steve said, fighting a smile. ”Would a hot water bottle help?”
”…Maybe?”
After a short moment, Steve was back and gently placed a hot water bottle against Tony’s belly.
”Thanks,” Tony mumbled, eyes closed. ”And I’d love to go out with you.”
He didn’t see Steve’s wide smile but he heard it in his voice. ”Great. How about that new pastry place two blocks away?”
Tony groaned. ”I hate you so much right now.”
Steve brushed a stray lock of hair away from his forehead. ”No, you don’t,” he said softly.
No, he didn’t.