When Gabriel was five, he thought his Father was one of the Gods. He would sit on his lap, stare adoringly into his piercing blue eyes and listen to the endless stories of his adventures, of things he had seen and done. Gabriel was firm in his belief that his Father was righteous, almighty and just, and nothing could sway his determination. He would follow the alpha of the Novak clan around, pester him with endless questions, and act as his proud messenger whenever his Father deigned to notice his presence. Which wasn’t that often, but Gabriel didn’t mind. He was overjoyed at the little moments, the small glimpses of his father’s love and grace washing over him. He felt truly special then, bathing in the attention.
Michael acted all alpha already (although, at ten summers, he wasn’t even near presenting), criticizing their Father about everything, and Luke, two summers his junior, was very eager to accompany him. Gabriel never understood his big brothers or their need to question Father. To him, Father was everything, and to doubt him was to doubt the world itself.
When Gabriel was eight, his world changed. His mother presented him with a squealing bundle of a pup and told him that it was his new brother, and he was expected to love and protect him, like he had been loved and protected by his older brothers. Gabriel might have said something to that, to point out that he hadn’t ever felt especially loved or protected by either Michael or Luke, but he figured it wasn’t the right thing to say. So he accepted the pup into his arms, stared into his brown eyes, and wondered if he had lost his status as his Father’s special messenger.
He tried to get away with avoiding his duties, like he had before Abner’s birth. But when he approached his Father, the alpha frowned at him, and asked where he had left his little brother. Gabriel stammered that the pup was soundly sleeping, but he would go and check on him, just to be sure. His father nodded, and suddenly Gabriel realized that his days at the centre of his father’s attention were over. Things were expected from him now, and he couldn’t just bathe in the affections of the family alpha anymore. But it didn’t mean that he stopped believing.
When Gabriel was fifteen, he lost his faith in his Father. He was presented with yet another brother for reasons he didn’t understand, and, soon after that, their Father took off. Gabriel didn’t exactly know why, but he figured that a family with five pups and an omega mate had been too much for his Father. Or maybe the new pup with bright blue eyes reminded Father too much of himself, of his own age and mortality. Perhaps it was easier to forget the passage of time when you didn’t have to look it in the eye every day.
To his immense relief, Gabriel presented as a beta. After observing his two older alpha brothers fighting almost constantly over dominance of the clan, he was glad he wasn’t an alpha, and, being from a traditionalist family, presenting as an omega would’ve effectively cut his liberties down to zero all at once. It wasn’t that they thought that omegas were inferior (or, well, Michael probably did), but their mother was a perfect example of an ”appropriate” omega: demure and well-behaved, beautiful to look at, and silent enough to dismiss without a second thought. Gabriel had none of those qualities.
He was also pleased that, as a beta, he was free of the biological imperatives that affected alphas and omegas so profoundly. He wouldn’t suffer from heats or ruts, and he wouldn’t lose his head over mating pheromones. Of course, his secondary gender made him slightly inferior in Michael’s eyes, but Gabriel didn’t mind: it was a relief, since it let him do pretty much what he wanted, as long as the family name wasn’t tarnished. His fox-shaped totem was an ample proof of the fact.
When Gabriel was nineteen, he realized that women held absolutely no romantic interest to him. Being a part of a wealthy family guaranteed that he was approached multiple times, but he found that he just wasn’t interested. It wasn’t about lack of trying, though. Oh no, Gabriel made sure he tried, very, very hard, repeatedly, up to the point where Michael had to scold him and bid him to be a bit more discreet, ”For family’s sake, Gabriel, please.” But no matter how he tried, it was futile.
It was the hardness itself that was the problem: the soft curves, breasts and pussy just didn’t do anything for him. Gabriel ached for smooth, hard planes of muscle to stroke, for a flat chest to press himself against and a cock to grip. He entertained briefly the idea of an omega as a mate, but shuddered at the implications: omegas equalled pups, and no way in hell was he ever going to be ready for them. He had had enough, caring for his two younger brothers. Besides, he wasn’t that sure he would be a very good father. It wasn't like he had had a good example, growing up.
He was twenty when he lay with a man for the first time, and he knew. Unfortunately, he also knew that he could never tell his brothers. Michael was a traditionalist to the core, which included the outdated ideas of how genders were allowed to mate. To him, the ultimate pairing was an alpha to an omega, primary genders aside, the second best option being a male alpha to a female beta, or a male beta to a female omega. That was it, no other options allowed. Once again, Gabriel was grateful for his beta-nature, that allowed him a bit more leeway.
When Gabriel was twenty-six, they received notification that informed them that their father was dead. The news wasn’t shocking as such, since the family alpha had been gone over a decade already, but the official declaration prompted his brothers have their final fight for dominance and nearly kill each other. In the end, it was Michael who survived as a winner, his curly-coated retriever tearing mouthfuls of feathers from the wings of Luke’s eagle-owl. No-one was particularly surprised when Luke refused to stand down, submit, and acknowledge Michael’s dominance. As a result, he was exiled from the clan, and never heard of since.
Gabriel wasn’t exactly sure if, after that, things took turn for better or for worse. Better in the sense that the constant tension and barely contained aggression was gone and the household was calm once more. Worse in the sense that, after Luke’s departure, there was no-one left to question Michael’s decisions. He claimed the position of the family alpha with a confidence and authority he didn’t actually possess, and, with both Gabriel and Abner being betas, they stood no chance against him. Their omega mother’s opinion didn’t matter, and Cassie was still unpresented.
When Gabriel was twenty-nine, Castiel presented as an omega. Gabriel felt sorry for his fourteen-summers-old brother. His temperament would be curbed, his will smothered, and his words silenced; he would be trained to be like their mother: a silent decorative doll, whose only obligation, apart from being pretty, was to breed. Gabriel didn’t believe in strict gender roles — and how could he, his orientation being what it was? — but it was difficult to maintain his neutrality and open mind when surrounded by the stone-walled determination that was his alpha brother.
Gabriel would’ve wanted to keep on treating Cassie like he used to, but, to his ultimate dismay, he soon discovered he wasn’t above the hypocrisy of gender discrimination himself. It was frustrating to realize it didn’t really matter that he wanted to talk to his brother like he used to and to take him with him to the marketplace like before, because he couldn’t. Gabriel had been around too much, he was too perceptive, too knowing to dismiss the leers and catcalls, the almost-accidental bumps and touches his brother was subjected when they were out together. It didn’t take Gabriel long to understand that he couldn’t protect Cassie for long. He was only a beta, after all.
For some reason, Cassie didn’t resent Gabriel as much as Gabriel resented himself. Maybe the fact that he was coddled way more by both Michael and Abner was enough, and Gabriel still felt like a breeze of freedom. Or perhaps Gabriel was in denial because of the guilt he couldn’t get rid of.
When Gabriel was thirty-two, the Novak clan received a proposal of marriage for Castiel. The letter was addressed to their mother, and it had Naomi blinking in confusion and Michael shaking his head with irritation. The letter was from North, from the widowed Lord of Grey Castle of whom they had never heard of, looking for an omega mate for his firstborn son, the future Lord. Despite the initial scoffing and eye-rolling at the preposterous gesture of sending an actual letter to an omega, Michael was pleased. Cassie had proved to be a difficult one, too stubborn, too willful, too much everything. Their family was known for their traditional reputation, and an omega speaking his mind in public wasn’t exactly enhancing Michael’s attempts to find a mate of his own. So to say that the family (or at least the family alpha) was happy, was an understatement. Michael responded immediately, eager to start the negotiations as soon as possible.
Cassie, being an omega, wasn’t included in the negotiations. When the negotiations were in full swing, he was merely informed that his familial alpha would take care of his marriage contract and he would act on it. Cassie had argued against it, demanded to see the letters himself, but Michael had been adamant. Gabriel had been sad to see how Cassie had grown slightly bitter and bristling, his personality dulled in the demands of their suppressive eldest brother. There was nothing he could do about it, except try to cheer his little brother up with his jokes that didn’t belie his aching heart.
When Gabriel was thirty-four, he realized he had to get away. The family home had grown stale and suffocating in the absence of his youngest brother – something he hadn’t even considered before Cassie had been packed up and sent North. They had received no letters apart from the pre-negotiated Innkeeper notes of Castiel’s safe journey, and Gabriel was worried if his brother was alright.
Then Michael had launched a mate-for-all campaign, and everything had gone to hell after he had found out that Abner already had a mate – a beta male like himself. Gabriel already knew what was coming before Michael sent for him, and he had his things packed to make his escape as soon as possible, which was the night after Michael had informed him of the beta female he had chosen for Gabriel. Or, well, for Abner, actually, but that plan had gone south the moment Michael had learned that Abner was bonded. Gabriel knew that Michael was aware of his numerous affairs, but he was smart enough to keep silent about his orientation, to avoid being locked up like a disobedient omega.
To be honest, he only had one place to go to. He was vaguely aware of where Grey Castle was, but, with only a meager amount of money and no carriage of his own, the journey would be long and taxing. But it didn’t matter, he had made his choice. He slipped silently out through the back door, through the alleyways he had memorized almost fifteen summers ago on his adventures, and out of the city. He set towards the North and never looked back.
Gabriel had never actually considered roads before. As in how lumpy and bumpy they were, how completely uncomfortable and jarring — especially when experienced from the back of an ox cart that was exceptionally hard and unpleasant. Of course, the only times Gabriel actually had travelled before, he had been using the lavish family carriage, the one with proper suspension and thick pillows to soothe his delicate behind. Nothing like that available here, though. Only the ox cart slowly trudging forward, a torture device that seemed to deliberately search for and find every single hole and rock in the road.
The fact that the road itself was an unpaved dirt road only added his foul mood. His fox could offer little comfort, and he couldn’t really sit on him, could he? On the other hand, perhaps he should just be grateful that he even had a means of transport, with the little money he had left. Travelling without a full access to the family funds had proved more difficult than he had originally thought. It was annoying, really.
He had started his journey the way he always had, only dropping his clan name out. After a day’s worth of travel in a decent enough rental carriage, he had sauntered into an inn, all cocky and confident, leering at the Innkeeper and her barmaids, offering even more lecherous smile to her smoldering hot stableboy, who had happened to wander inside for food. Gabriel was pretty sure he had never been removed from an inn as quickly as he then was. He had tried to protest and had sputtered in indignation, but the Innkeeper had silenced him in a flash.
”Who do you think you are?” She had snapped. ”You march into my Inn like you own it, disrespecting me and my staff with your alpha-like posturing that probably is just you compensating your size and gender. You have no money, no name and no manners. You are a disgrace!”
Completely bewildered, Gabriel had staggered off with his fox in tow, and spent the night huddled in a ball in the back alley, fervently hoping that he looked miserable enough not to be mugged. The next morning, he had considered his options and decided that, in light of events, his self-respect could suffer a slight bump to avoid spending further nights in a random alley.
He knew how to talk himself into trouble, and now he had to talk himself out of it. He knew how to be funny and entertaining enough to worm himself into a cart and then pester the driver to let him ride along in exchange for stories. And if he, in order to get a free ride, did, in fact, retell his own not-so-gallant adventures, he didn’t dwell on it too long. Besides, his audiences’ reactions to the stupid, if undeniably romantic, endeavors of an unnamed nobleman stung only in the beginning, and Gabriel soon grew a thick enough skin to brush the contemptuous comments off. It wasn’t like they knew they were insulting him, after all.
But their words wormed their way into his mind and stayed there, poking him during the silent hours of the night.
He soon found out that one could cope with surprisingly little food and few possessions. Hunger taught one to value food when one had access to it, never mind if it wasn’t the latest novelty. If it filled his belly, it was good enough. He only had two sets of clothes with him (what in Heavens above had he been thinking?), but fortunately it was early summer and the weather was warm, although it grew chillier the further North they travelled. Gabriel was pretty sure he would’ve died in a week if he had run away in winter.
Time passed slowly on the road. Gabriel had started to keep a record of the passing days, although he wasn’t exactly sure why. Habit, perhaps. At home, he had prided himself on being always aware of the current date and of the events of the city, on what to attend and what to avoid. None of it held any actual importance in the ox cart, because, really? The only standing appointment he had at the moment was the one between his ass and the cart.
Besides, if he actually made it to Grey Castle, he could ask the date then and thus be informed about how long his journey had taken, considering it was something he wanted to know. And if he never reached Grey Castle, he probably wouldn’t need the dates, anyway.
He wasn’t even sure if Castiel would want to see him — or if his alpha would let him. The Winchester clan was a complete mystery, and pretty much nothing had been learned about it during the marriage negotiations. Besides, the arrangements had been made between Michael and the Grey Castle representative, the information on a need-to-know basis, and Gabriel hadn’t needed to know. Public knowledge was that the alpha, the young Lord of the castle, was in dire need of a mate and an heir, and that he had a beta brother. Something could be interpreted from the fact that the original proposal letter had been sent to their mother and not Michael. Obviously the Northerners were more modern than Gabriel’s family, or at least the old alpha initiating the negotiations had been.
Gabriel hoped that his brother was happy. Castiel had really never enjoyed the life in their family home, and Michael had had a hard time suffering Cassie’s struggles towards free will. Even Cassie’s totem had been a disappointment for their alpha brother. He had fully expected a traditional decorative totem, like their mother’s dragonfly, but instead Cassie’s totem had manifested as beautiful, cunning, and predatory. Michael had taken that as a personal insult and a challenge to his status as the family alpha, which had been rather simple-minded. Michael was more than well aware that the totems took the forms they wanted, reflecting the personalities of their humans, and there really was nothing the human could do to make a difference.
After Castiel’s totem had manifested, Gabriel had thought that the pure white ermine was an interesting totem for a Southern omega. Then the letter of proposal had come, and Gabriel had felt a shiver along his spine.
Three weeks on the road, and Gabriel was so done. He hated the ox carts, the supply carts, and the cargo rides. He hated the cold, soggy, and lumpy ground he was forced to sleep on due his lack of money. He hated the drivers who laughed at the stories he had lived through, making fun at the ignorant and snobby nobleman, who had no understanding of the life they led.
He hated the fact that they were probably right.
But he had to admit that at least the scenery was nice. The woods in the South had been meticulously cultivated, trees planted in straight lines, their species and colorings carefully matched to form an aesthetically pleasing experience. The further North they advanced, the wilder and more unruly the woods became. There was no cultivation, no grooming, no limiting, just the flora and fauna as they naturally were. It was fascinating, but also a little intimidating. Gabriel had never considered himself an easily spooked man, but, as it turned out, dark woods in the middle of the night could be really scary.
When he asked the current driver he was hitchhiking with if the Northern woods were always this wild, the beta nearly fell from his seat.
”Northern woods? Wild? Ye ain’t seen no Northern woods yet, an’ this is ain’t wild,” the man cackled.
Gabriel frowned. He wasn’t sure how far they had come, but he was sure as hell they were pretty up North already. He tried to confront the driver and ask when they would be in the North, exactly, but the driver just shrugged.
”Ye get there when ye get there. ’Bout coupl’a weeks with me oxes.”
Gabriel groaned inwardly. He wasn’t exactly convinced that his behind would survive another two weeks in the rattling cart, but it wasn’t like he had a choice. He was almost out of money, and if he intended to actually eat something during the rest of the journey, it would be a smart move to just shut his mouth and be grateful he even had a ride. He had been thrown off from the carts several times in the early days of his journey, and he was in no hurry to repeat the experience.
But he couldn’t deny that, in some way, travelling like this was… if not actually meditative as such, at least it was educational. The gentle swaying of the cart lulled him in an almost trance-like state, from which he was occasionally jolted out of due to bumps and rocks. The slowly moving scenery around him provided a pleasant, but unhurried distraction to the monotonous road that stretched behind them. Gabriel’s usual place was in the back of the cart, sitting on the edge, staring back at the direction they had come from. Sometimes it was sort of disconcerting, not knowing where they were headed, but then, the oxen moved so slowly that it was no feat at all to turn around and gaze forward for a change. Not that there was actually that much to see. A road stretching ahead, woods, some farms and villages, and more woods.
They had passed several small castles along the way, but Gabriel had always stayed outside their perimeters, opting to help unloading the carts to wandering around the castle vicinity. He wasn’t sure if his clan would be known this far up, but he decided to play safe. With both of his beta brothers disobedient and defying his authority, Michael could be an unpredictable element. It was a bit far-fetched to assume that his brother would actually send someone for Gabriel, because the risk of a scandal was too big. But then, a wounded alpha pride was never a thing to be underestimated.
Not having anything to do but think, however, was not perhaps the nicest way to spend time. There were only so many poems and plays to recite aloud, and sooner or later one’s thoughts turned inward, and that could be unpleasant. Self-reflection had never been his strength, and Gabriel cringed when he realized the direction his mind was repeatedly wandering to. He had never pretended to be a philosophical man, and the short bursts of self-recognition he had had in the past had been securely tucked in the farthest corner of his mind. But now, after being exposed to himself for several weeks, he wasn’t exactly sure he liked himself. That, in itself, was rather disturbing.
A week later Gabriel arrived in Maple Falls. The town was smallish, but it consisted of sturdy, sensible buildings and clean roads, and it had a good air around it. The townspeople greeted them politely enough, but Gabriel could feel he was under scrutiny. It wasn’t hostile, but definitely assessing, something he hadn’t dealt with before. He wasn’t exactly sure how to react to it, but decided that manners would hardly get him into trouble. So he smiled, nodded, and greeted the townspeople back and resisted the urge to fidget.
The ox cart had stopped by The Goose and The Boar Inn, and Gabriel hopped off, thanked the driver, and walked hesitantly towards the inn entrance. He was quite sure he had finally managed to find his way up North enough to feel safely away from Michael’s influence. The bad thing was that he was practically out of money and hadn’t eaten properly for two days. After his humiliating experiences at the beginning of his journey, he had become considerably more careful with inns. The Innkeepers tended to be proud and capable beta females, and, in his current situation, Gabriel really didn’t want to risk being apprehended for loitering. But he couldn’t help himself — the scents wafting out of the door, along with the merry laughter and conversation were too much, and, with his fox in tow, he walked closer, opened the door and stopped to take a good look inside.
The inn wasn’t stuffed full, but pleasantly crowded. The patrons were far from drunk, but they seemed to be having a genuinely good time anyway, if their laughter and smiling faces were anything to go by. Gabriel looked around and spotted a short-haired woman delivering drinks and food to a nearby table. Her totem, a surprisingly elegant rottweiler was lying near the door, and the moment she turned her sharp eyes towards Gabriel and his fox, he knew they were caught hovering. There was no point in turning around and leaving, so Gabriel stayed still, tired to the bone and hungry as hell, and waited for the Innkeeper herself.
”Hey, you! Come here and sit down.”
Gabriel blinked slowly and gaped at the woman. Surely—
”I make a mean chowder, and you look like you need some,” the Innkeeper said, and, when Gabriel didn’t move, she pressed her lips together in a tight line. ”You are in the way, mister. Sit. Down.” She emphasized her order by snapping her fingers in the direction of an empty table beside him, and Gabriel sat down. From the corner of his eye he saw his totem being unceremoniously pushed under the table by the Innkeeper’s rottweiler, and the fox was both confused and tired to protest.
After a short moment, he had a big bowl of steaming chowder in front of him, along with healthy chunks of bread and cheese, and a pitcher of watered wine. Gabriel swallowed and shook his head. ”I don’t have money to pay for this,” he said quietly and winced when his stomach gave a loud growl.
”Did I ask for any?”
”But—”
”Shut up and eat,” the Innkeeper said, not unkindly. ”We’ll talk later.”
The food was heavenly, and not only because he was ravenous. The Innkeeper was right; she did make a mean chowder, but the rich bread and strong cheese didn’t pale in comparison. Gabriel forced himself to eat slower than he would’ve wanted, because it would’ve been probably pretty rude to vomit out all that free food as a thanks.
When he was finished, he leaned back a bit and took a better look at the people milling the inn. Their interactions were straightforward, with genuine laughter and a jovial air, and it seemed like the majority of the patrons actually liked each other, in addition to knowing each other. The inn was very different from the wine houses Gabriel had regularly visited in the South, but then, he was in the North now, and Northerners in general appeared to be more genuine. Besides, Maple Falls was considerably smaller than his former home town, which could explain the familiarity between the patrons.
He was so absorbed in his scrutiny that he missed the Innkeeper approaching and started a little, when she sat opposite him.
”So,” she said, and looked Gabriel straight in the eye. ”What’s a Southerner doing here, so far from home? Visiting someone?” She cocked her head, her eyes slightly narrowed and sharp. Gabriel was quite sure that if he tried to lie, she would see right through his bullshit.
”I…” He rubbed his face and sighed. ”Last fall, my brother was mated off to the Lord of Grey Castle. I haven’t heard from him since, and I wanted to make sure he was alright.”
The Innkeeper’s eyes widened slightly, but she gave no other outward reaction to the information. ”You don’t look like a brother of a Laird of any castle,” she commented dryly.
Gabriel grimaced and turned his gaze to his hands. ”I had a… disagreement with my older brother. He also happens to be the family alpha, so…” He shrugged. ”I really have nowhere else to go.”
The Innkeeper watched him for a long while, and, for some reason, Gabriel felt like he was under an evaluation, assessed for something, and the feeling was only heightened by the sideway looks from the other patrons. Gabriel had a feeling that the Innkeeper was an important person of the community, and her opinion would mean a great deal. So, he sat still, kept his posture open and relaxed, and didn’t try to hide his eyes.
The Innkeeper nodded, like she had reached a decision.
”I’m Matron Mills, the owner of this inn. You have reached your destination: this was your brother’s last stop on his way to Grey Castle. You are already on our clan’s land and under the protection of Grey Castle –– in case you need it. Do you want me to send a carrier pigeon to your brother?”
If Gabriel hadn’t been sitting down, he would’ve probably slid to the floor. He felt like all air was punched out of him and he had to lean his head to his hands and wait for the world to stop spinning. It took a moment for him to realize that Matron Mills had asked him a question.
”Ah. No, thank you. I don’t have the money to pay for that, either,” he answered and realized his voice was shaky.
”In this case, money is not an issue, but it’s your choice.” Matron Mills paused and gave him a stern look. ”There’s a supply cart leaving for the castle tomorrow morning. The journey takes approximately three to four days, depending on the weather. I’ll inform the driver to wait for…?”
”Gabriel, my name is Gabriel. And the cart sounds good. Thank you,” he breathed out, humbled and relieved.
The Innkeeper pursed her lips and looked at him appraisingly. ”Meanwhile, I suggest you take a bath. I have a spare bed for you to sleep in. The cart leaves early, I’ll get someone to wake you.” Without further ado, she stood up and left baffled Gabriel to finish his wine.
He was nodding with exhaustion, when someone nudged his shoulder. He looked up blearily and saw a blonde omega maid smiling a little nervously at him. Her totem, a salamander, peeked at Gabriel’s fox warily from her shoulder.
”Hi, mister. I’m Donna. Matron Mills sent me to show you where to take a bath and where to sleep. If you would please follow me?”
She turned abruptly and started towards the stairs. Gabriel gathered his meagre belongings and hurried after her, rubbing his stinging eyes. He staggered with exhaustion and accidentally bumped into the maid, who jerked and let out a strangled cry. Gabriel’s sleep-deprived brain didn’t catch up properly, and, before he understood what had happened, his fox was pinned down by Matron Mills’s rottweiler, and the Innkeeper herself was staring daggers at him from the bottom of the stairs.
”Did I make a mistake in trusting you, mister?” The Innkeeper asked, her voice low.
Gabriel blinked furiously, trying to make sense of what was happening. Then it dawned him.
”Oh, Heavens! Did you––? I would never––” He breathed in. ”It was a mistake. I stumbled and accidentally bumped into your maid. I meant no disrespect.” He swallowed and looked the maid straight in the eye. ”I’m not attracted to either females or omegas. I apologize scaring you, but I can assure you that you have nothing to fear from me.”
The maid blinked, her hands clenching and unclenching on her sides. Then she nodded and continued up the stairs. Gabriel turned to look at Matron Mills, not sure what he was supposed to do. The Innkeeper regarded him levelly, pressed her lips together, before she turned back to the main room, followed by her rottweiler. Staring after her, Gabriel was momentarily at a loss of what to do. Then he heard the maid clear her throat from the top of the stairs, and hurried to follow her.
The bath was heavenly. Gabriel nearly melted in the hot water, reveling in the warmth and the feeling of being finally able to wash himself properly. It hadn’t even occurred to him, before, what a simple luxury bathing actually was.
It was a sobering thought, to realize how easy his life had been, sheltered in the wealth of his family home. He had never had to earn his own living, since the family assets had been there free for him to use as he saw fit. He had never had to work for anything, really, because the mere mention of their name had always given him pretty much anything he wanted, within reason. But during his journey, when he had been forced to avoid using his name while trying to stay clear of Michael’s eyes and ears, he had found out exactly what he was worth as Gabriel.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was more than a little depressing to realize you were a useless and immature dickweed at the age of thirty-four.
The Innkeeper who had thrown him out had been painfully right, of course, accusing him of posturing and informing him he had no manners. The sad thing was that he didn’t know how else to behave. He’d never had to, their clan and wealth taking care of every complaint thrown his way. He had no special skills (flagging one’s tongue didn’t count), he had no special education, and he was pretty much untrained in everything else except excessive partying, having sex, and spending money he had done nothing to earn.
If he was being honest, Gabriel couldn’t deny the fact that he was lonely. He had never been that close to anyone in his family, except Castiel, and, after Cassie had been mated off, Gabriel had been completely alone. Michael had absorbed himself fully in the role of the righteous father and family alpha, but he had never been one to talk to. Michael talked at people, not to people, and he certainly didn’t have a dialogue with anyone. Luke was gone Heavens-knew-where, and Gabriel didn’t have anything in common with Abner. Well, apart the fact that they both liked beta males, but sexual orientation really wasn’t a valid stepping stone for a deep bromance.
Gabriel sighed and dipped his head under the water to wash out weeks worth of grime. He had had time to think about himself for quite some time, and he really had no choice but to admit that he was not a very nice person. He was brash, loud, and obnoxious; a hedonist who cared little or none about anyone except himself. Well, and Castiel, which was the exact reason he was where he was, at the moment.
Cassie had somehow managed to worm his way into Gabriel’s heart. The intelligent, snarky and strong-willed omega brother of his was permanently lodged in his mind, and, as much as Gabriel would’ve wanted to brush him off as mated and lost, he couldn’t. Admittedly he hadn’t been the most attentive of brothers, but at least he had tried, within the limitations of Cassie’s gender, of course. After he had presented, there hadn’t been that many opportunities to sneak out of their family home and introduce Cassie to something else than clothes, books and sitting still.
He liked to think that Cassie had actually liked him and would, therefore, welcome him to his home. Or at least would agree to meet him.
If Castiel (or his alpha) didn’t want to take Gabriel in, he had no place to go. The thought caused a sick feeling bloom in his gut, and he decided he didn’t want to dwell on it.
The water had grown tepid, and Gabriel forced himself out of the bathtub. He dried himself in the coarse towel and dressed in a thin tunic and trousers the maid had left him. She had taken his dirty clothes away and informed him that they would be washed and returned to him in the morning. Gabriel wasn’t exactly sure what he had done to deserve the treatment, and he had thanked her with a slightly overwhelmed smile. Before leaving, the maid had informed him that his room was right down the hall, the one with the door open.
Gabriel had fully expected a cot in a corner, but, to his utmost surprise, he was provided with a small room of his own, with a lantern burning on the table and a bed with warm, fluffy blankets. There was a pot of tea and a generous piece of fruit cake waiting for him by the lantern. Gabriel closed the door behind him and sat heavily on the bed, staring at the teapot and the cake. He had never encountered such kindness as he had that night from Matron Mills, who didn’t even know him. He poured himself a cup of tea and ate the cake and tried to ignore the burning in his eyes and the feeling in his chest.
It didn’t occur to him until much, much later that Matron Mills had offered him a chance to save face and present in front of his brother as an equal, not as a beggar he felt he was.
Morning came way too early. Because this had been the first time in a long, long time since Gabriel had had the chance to sleep in an actual bed, he had slept like a dead man. He felt like he had just closed his eyes, when there was a sharp knock on the door and a voice called, ”The cart leaves shortly, mister, wake up!”
He scrambled out of the bed, relieved himself in the chamberpot, and laced his boots on. He was more than grateful for the bath Matron Mills had provided him, because it made it possible to wear the better clothes he had packed with him. He wasn’t exactly sure what he had been thinking, packing the garments on the road, but at least they were clean. Like him.
There was a bag by the door waiting for him, with his cleaned clothes piled neatly on the top of it. He picked the bag up and curiously peeked inside. There was a woollen blanket and a generous amount of gratuitous food inside, by the obvious courtesy of the Innkeeper. Gabriel paused for a second and blinked, his mind suddenly blank. He had no idea why the Innkeeper had granted him with bag. Because he was related to their Lord’s mate? Or was it just the way of Northerners? He shook his head in wonder and hurried to catch his ride. When Gabriel climbed into the cart, he felt an odd hope blooming in his chest. For better or for worse, this was now the final part of his journey.
As he watched Maple Falls slowly disappear from sight, the words of that one ox cart driver returned to him: the woods he had asked about hadn’t been even remotely wild, and the ones of his hometown looked like paintings compared to the Northern forest now spreading around them. There was an unyielding beauty in the untamed woods, and, despite the sense of apprehension, Gabriel felt drawn to it.
The morning was crisper and brighter than Gabriel was used to. It seemed like the North was brighter than the South, which was just odd –– one might have thought it was the exact opposite. He squinted at the clear blue sky and tried to ease the turmoil in his mind. He had to admit that he was nervous. Sure, he had bathed, eaten, and would arrive in reasonably good condition, but what would Cassie say when he saw his brother after so many moons? Would he welcome Gabriel or would he send him on his way? Where would he go if Cassie didn’t want him in his home? Or what if his alpha didn’t want Gabriel there?
He bit his lip, and, from his seat in the back of the cart, stared resolutely at the hard and bumpy road he had taken to get here. Then he shrugged and decided he wouldn’t think about it just now.
On the fourth day, Gabriel was undecided about whether to have a nervous breakdown or drop dead from boredom. The weather was still crisp, the forests foreboding, and the most exciting thing that had happened to them so far had been a broken axle that had needed to be repaired on the road. The repair work had been a bit haphazard, and they were making slow and careful progress to avoid it breaking again. Gabriel was almost sure he could’ve already arrived by crawling, but he had enough self-preservation not to say it out loud. The driver was a quite a mountain of a man, after all.
As they were passing a lush meadow, his fox perked up and jumped down from the cart. Gabriel didn’t really have any other choice but to follow, so he hurriedly thanked the driver, grabbed his bag and ran after his totem. Logic told him that there was only one reason for his totem to run off, and the anticipation almost made him stumble in the middle of his run.
And, sure enough, after a short sprint he saw a shape slowly walking across the meadow. He couldn’t see properly because of the distance, but the stance and the hair told him enough. He had found his brother.
After crossing the majority of the distance, he dropped his bag and creeped slowly closer, a mischievous grin on his face. His fox hung back, perfectly aware of his human’s tricks by now. Gabriel got right behind Castiel, clasped his hands over his brother’s eyes and whispered roughly, ”Guess who?”
He had no idea what happened next, honestly.
Suddenly a massive form slammed into him, knocking him onto his back. Somewhere, he heard Castiel cry out, but his worry was overcome by a blood-curdling growl and a set of terrifying teeth an inch from his face. Then he felt pain through the connection to his fox, and he knew that something had his totem trapped, and he couldn’t stop a pained sound escaping his own throat.
He tried to catch his breath, while still held down by a massive — wolf? He had been pinned down by a totem right after he had jumped on his own brother. What the hell?
He turned his head a little (as much as he dared, because, hello, a massive wolf with axe-sized teeth) and saw a confused Castiel shuffle slowly towards him.
”Gabriel?” His brother cocked his head and frowned, waiting for an explanation.
”Hi bro,” he answered with a pained voice. He tried to move a little, but the massive thing growling over him growled a bit more, and he decided that he would rather live, thanks.
Castiel sighed and shook his head, stepped beside the wolf and stroked his neck. The totem went silent, turned his head and licked Castiel's hand once, as a reassurance. Gabriel gaped. It was sort of okay-ish to be pinned down by a totem in a perceived moment of crisis, but to pet another human’s totem was taboo. Or, at least, in the South it was.
"Say ’hi’ to my mate’s totem," Castiel said mildly and continued to pet the wolf's muzzle.
”Hi," Gabriel croaked weakly, pointedly avoiding the wolf's gaze. "Would you mind?"
Castiel inclined his head at the wolf. "No, but they would," he quipped way too smugly for Gabriel’s liking. "So I suggest you stay very still." Gabriel swallowed audibly and obeyed. He wasn’t sure who ’they’ were, but he could only assume Cassie meant that something pinning his fox down.
Castiel nodded, satisfied, and then turned his gaze behind him. "Sam, this is my brother Gabriel. He's an idiot, but I like him. I think you could let the fox go, but somehow I doubt you'll do what I ask."
Gabriel couldn’t see anything, because of the wolf, but he felt his fox’s pain ease a little, which meant that the whatever was holding his totem had eased its hold.
”Wha— Why—” Gabriel sputtered, incapable of forming actual questions.
His brother raised his brow. ”The owl is the totem of my mate’s brother. Sam can see and hear everything through him, and he’s most likely passing the information on to Dean as we speak." He paused. "And he's going to be pissed, you know. Dean, I mean."
Gabriel snorted, which earned him a narrowed glare from the wolf still pinning him down. "If he's so concerned about you, he shouldn’t have let you wander around alone. Not safe for an omega, you know."
Castiel smiled slightly and raised his brow. "Whatever made you think I was alone?" He asked, looking around pointedly.
Gabriel followed his gaze, craning his neck as much as the wolf let him, and his jaw dropped. As far as he was able to see, they were completely surrounded by totems, and there were several hovering above them, as well. Lying on the ground, he couldn’t see or hear even one human.
"But... there's only totems!" He sputtered.
"Yes," Castiel answered serenely, glancing around.
"It's not natural!" Gabriel exclaimed.
Castiel dropped his eyes to Gabriel. "Welcome to Grey Castle, Gabe,” he grinned.
Gabriel could only blink in confusion. This really hadn’t gone even remotely the way he had imagined. He had thought he would surprise Castiel, then they would talk, and Gabriel could try to pry information about his alpha and drop the question of asylum somewhere in the middle. Instead, he was pinned down by a monster, his totem was trapped, and they were surrounded by a flock of totems without their humans. Gabriel could feel a headache lurking behind his eyes.
A short while later there was a commotion, and Gabriel sensed a tension go through the totems around him, but, surprisingly enough, Castiel visibly relaxed. The reason for that was an alpha who practically ran to Castiel and started immediately to stroke and scent him. Gabriel was able to see Castiel’s face sport a fondly exasperated expression and he let out a breath. At least his brother wasn’t afraid of his mate. That was a good thing.
"Excuse you," he called, when he felt his situation was being ignored.
The alpha –– Dean? Yes, Castiel had called him Dean –– whirled around to look at him, shielding Castiel with his body. He was an impressive sight, all coiled power and lethal intent, eyes blazing. Suddenly, Gabriel didn’t feel that confident anymore.
"Who the fuck are you, and why should I let you live?" The alpha snarled and Gabriel felt the wolf react to the aggression.
Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "I'm Gabriel and I'm Castiel's brother." He managed to get his tone imperious, which was quite an achievement, considering that he was still pinned to a meadow by a massive wolf.
"That's hardly a valid argument,” Dean stated dryly, before turning to Castiel. "What do you want me to do with him?" He asked, so softly that Gabriel barely heard him.
Gabriel choked at the question. "You're asking him? You'd let your omega to decide?"
"Why shouldn't I?" Dean asked sharply. "He's my mate."
"Gabe, I recommend for you to shut up now,” Castiel commented calmly from under Dean's arm and Gabriel surprised himself by obeying. It wasn’t that he was exactly cowed, but he didn’t actually have a direct death wish. He rolled his eyes and almost missed the way Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s abdomen.
Gabriel nearly vomited.
Castiel was pregnant. He had jumped a pregnant omega. It was a miracle he was still alive.
He was able to regain some of his composure while the Lord of Grey Castle performed some kind of a rite for the totems surrounding them. Gabriel couldn’t see anything from under a cow-sized totem, and wriggling his way from under those teeth wasn’t really a valid option. Anyway, something happened, since the alpha swayed on his feet and then dropped on his knees, Castiel rushing to his side. But the alpha only laughed, which caused Castiel glance worriedly to his side at someone Gabriel didn’t see, because, again, the wolf.
Then Dean climbed onto his feet, turned to look at Gabriel and walked to stand beside his totem. The alpha obviously told him something, but the wolf didn’t react as he was expected to.
"Oh come on, fleabag, move aside. I want to talk to him and I'd rather do that with your breath a little further away,” Dean snapped, and, with a final growl at Gabriel, the totem moved himself off and stomped to stand in front of Castiel. Gabriel could’ve sworn his brother smiled, but he said nothing and concentrated on petting the wolf's ears.
Gabriel couldn’t help but to stare at Castiel with a kind of horrified interest. It seemed like the action was perfectly natural to the Northerners and to Castiel as well, but, after over thirty summers of strict conditioning to never touch another human’s totem, it was hard to react with anything but with fascinated horror. He wasn’t sure what he had expected to happen in a case like this, but in any other situation he could’ve said that the wolf actually purred.
His attention was drawn back to the alpha, who had offered his hand to help him up. Gabriel pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, contemplating for a split second if he could actually trust the alpha or not.
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. "Take it or not, but make up your mind already. I've got better things to do than stand here waving my hand at you, okay?"
Gabriel snorted and took Dean's hand, and the alpha helped him up.
”Whoa! Your brother's a midget,” Dean blurted, glancing at Castiel.
”Yours is a giant," Castiel answered mildly.
Dean cocked his head and shrugged. "Fair enough," he stated.
"Gee, thanks Cas,” said someone from the side, and, well. That someone was an impressive man standing a little on the side, petting an absolutely stunning snowy owl perched on his arm.
"You're welcome,” Castiel offered with a pleasant smile, and Dean barked a laugh. "Serves you right, bitch," he grinned.
The giant rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his lips. It was quite obvious that the brotherly bantering was an inside joke between them, and it was common enough for Castiel to join in. There was an affectionate air around the three of them, and Gabriel, quite fluent in reading people, was pleased to see his brother so relaxed around his mate and his mate’s brother.
From the corner of his eye he saw Dean straighten his pose, to settle in a stance befitting of a Lord. It was a familiar pose, something he had seen Michael adopt dozens of times, but, unlike Michael, Dean did it unconsciously. A born leader and a Lord, Gabriel acknowledged in his mind.
"How did you get here?" Dean asked. "I mean, do you have a horse or a carriage nearby that needs looking after?"
Gabriel shook his head. "Nope. I came via supply carts and cargo rides. Took me over a moon to get here, and it wasn’t pleasant. The last part was the easiest: I managed to get a ride from the town — Maple Falls, was it? — with a carriage bringing supplies to the castle.” He left out the part of Matron Mills offering him food, a bath, and a bed. ”My fox must’ve felt Cassie's totem somewhere around here, and I jumped off to find him. Didn't exactly anticipate having my head nearly bitten off by a giant mutt and my totem attacked by a pigeon.”
Right after the words had left his mouth he realized he probably should have kept silent. Or, at least show a little more respect at the alpha who, by all laws and traditions, actually had permission to end him. Dean raised his brows and Gabriel heard Castiel sigh in exasperation, but before Dean had chance to say anything, his brother cut in.
"If you possessed even a marginal amount of reason and good sense, you probably would have figured out that jumping a mated omega on their alpha's territory wasn't the brightest of ideas." The gorgeous giant’s voice had hard edges on it, and Dean turned a surprised eye at him.
"You sure are tall," Gabriel said, grinning. "Getting dizzy up there?"
Dean’s brother tilted his head. "Not very. Can you smell anything, with the grass poking you in the nose?"
Gabriel chuckled. "I like you," he quipped and winked.
"I'm shocked,” was all he got as an answer, before the man turned and stalked away. Gabriel was sad to see him gone, although he couldn’t really complain about the view.
After he had run to the other side of the meadow to gather the bag he had dropped before his brilliant idea of jumping Castiel, they started to walk towards the castle at a leisurely pace. Their totems chased each other around, happy at their reunion. The massive wolf walked between Gabriel and Cassie, and the alpha was slightly to Cassie’s left. Gabriel knew there were several aviating totems hovering above them, their humans on their business elsewhere. He tried not to think about it. It was just too creepy.
After a moment of walking, he glanced at his brother. ”So, that's your alpha?"
”Yes.”
"He seems a bit possessive."
"Well, you did jump on me, Gabe. Not a smart thing to do to a pregnant omega."
"How was I supposed know that?” He retreated to his familiar mannerism of pouting and was glad to see Cassie react exactly as he always had.
"Would it have stopped you, had you known?"
"Um. No," Gabriel grinned and Castiel gave him an eye roll.
It was a nice walk. Gabriel had always been able to be silent around Cassie — something about his persona allowed Gabriel just be. He watched with baffled interest as Cassie chatted with the castlefolk they met, exchanging pleasantries and answering the questions he knew answers to, referring to Dean when he didn't.
The closer they got to the castle the more people they met. When they nearly collided with a bunch of pups roughly four summers old, they were greeted with squeals of laughter, the pups demanding Dean to lift them onto his shoulders. Gabriel felt his mouth drop open at the scenery, at the sheer bravery of the pups insisting their Lord to spin them around, and the pure joy pouring off of said Lord when he complied with the requests of his littlest subjects. He couldn’t even begin to imagine Michael laughing as openly as Dean did, let alone twirling pups around.
"He's different, isn't he?" Gabriel asked, when he was able to pull himself together.
"From whom? If you mean Michael, I'd say everyone is different from Michael,” Cassie stated dryly.
Gabriel nodded. "True," he agreed, still watching Dean play with the pups. "Are you happy here, Cassie?" He asked after a while, not meeting his brother's eyes.
Castiel turned and gave him a slight frown. "Why are you here, exactly?"
Gabriel glanced at him swiftly from the corner of his eye. Damn. He had hoped he was going to be able to avoid the topic a bit longer. "Can't I just want to visit my bro?" He asked, his voice just a bit too light.
Castiel didn't say anything, but waited with a raised brow.
After a moment Gabriel gave up. "I'm on the run," he sighed.
Castiel stopped and turned to fully face his brother, which caused the wolf to stop and place himself between them like an overeager bodyguard. And, because Cassie had stopped, and the wolf had stopped, Dean halted as well, and Gabriel was pretty sure that the totems flying above them had also stopped. Really. Talk about over-protectiveness…
"On the run. Really, Gabe? You?"
Gabriel winced. "Well, yeah."
"From whom? And what?"
"Who do you think? From Michael, obviously."
Castiel's brows shot upwards. "What's he done now?"
"He's decided that I should be bonded,” Gabriel stated flatly.
Castiel stared and then erupted into giggles. "You? Bonded? You?"
"Hey!" He tried to sound indignant, but knew he had failed royally. "He got this wondrous idea that we all should be respectably bonded and mated, whether we wanted it or not." He smirked at Castiel, who shrugged. "Now that you're out of the way and not... blemishing the family name, he's received more tempting offers for himself and me. He's already set his eyes on some well-bred omega for himself, Hesta or something like that. I didn't actually pay attention to it. They're going to bond soon, I think. Anyway, now that I'm the last one left, big bro's gonna mate me off as well."
"Last one left?" Castiel frowned. "What about Abner?"
"What? Oh right, you wouldn't know, would you." Gabriel's grin was dirty. "He's bonded alright. To a beta. A man."
Castiel's eyes widened. "Oh," he breathed. "Well. That was unexpected, I suppose."
Gabriel shrugged. "Not really, no. Of course, you wouldn't have been told as you are a 'delicate omega' —" Castiel snorted, "— but I have known about their relationship for years. Our brother, on the other hand, didn't know until he tried to mate Abe off to some beta woman, and Abe was forced to actually bond with his bloke to avoid it. Michael threw a fit when he found out, as you can imagine.
"Anyway," Gabriel continued, "He'd got this beta woman all ready and almost signed off, and he decided I should bond with her." He shuddered. "The following day, I ran." He turned and continued walking towards the castle, even slower than before.
Castiel didn't follow him. "Why?"
"Why what? Why not bond?" Gabriel snorted and turned to give his brother a glare. ”Who'd want to bond with me? And, more importantly, why the hell would I want to bond with anyone — especially with someone of Michael's choosing?"
Castiel narrowed his eyes, cocked his head, stared at his brother, and waited. Gabriel set his jaw and stared back, but they had played this game many a time before, and Gabriel knew from the start that he would lose. Again.
After a moment he averted his eyes and sighed. "I don't want to bond with a female, and I definitely don't want an omega." Gabriel rolled his eyes at Castiel’s flat glare. "It's not a gender issue, you moron. I don't want pups. It's not that I don't especially like them, I just don't want any of my own. I'd be a crappy parent, and, honestly, I don't want to be tied down with a family.” And, even more so, I don’t want to repeat the mistakes our father did, he silently added to himself.
He watched the emotions flicker across Cassie’s face, and, even before his brother glanced at his abdomen, he knew what was going on in his mind.
"Cassie," Gabriel tsk-ed and shook his head. "No matter what I think about pups in general, I'm going to love this one, because it's yours."
Castiel’s face relaxed into a soft smile, and he hooked his arm with Gabriel’s. "I'm happy to see you," Castiel sighed as they resumed their walk towards the castle.
Gabriel couldn’t agree more.
When they reached the courtyard, there was a woman waiting for them. Gabriel first assumed she was an alpha, but soon realized his mistake. Getting her gender right did nothing to diminish her formidable presence, and Gabriel had the questionable delight of meeting the most terrifying person ever. If he had thought that the meeting with Dean’s wolf had been scary, it was nothing compared to Ellen. And from what he could interpret through the connection to his fox, his encounter with Ellen’s lynx had had similar qualities.
Finally, Ellen narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips together into a tight line. "Castiel will show you to your chambers. Don't wander around during the night.”
Gabriel smirked. "Lest I get lost?" He quipped.
"Lest you get killed,” Ellen’s tone was flat. Gabriel huffed a laugh, but it died quickly when he realized she wasn't joking. "Second floor, third on the left," Ellen said to Castiel and stomped off.
Gabriel blinked several times and turned to look at his brother, but Castiel only shrugged and led him to said third chamber on the left, on second floor. Cassie gave him a superficial introduction of the castle and its daily routines during their walk, which would’ve been interesting, if Gabriel’s head hadn’t been swirling with too much information already.
The chambers were small and sparsely furnished, but, after over a moon on the road, they were Heaven. A tray with cold food and a pitcher of watered wine for Gabriel and a pot of… something for Castiel were waiting for them on the coffee table, and there was a set of spare clothes on the bed. Gabriel dropped his bag on the floor and went to have a quick wash-up and a change of clothes.
"This place must be boring during the winter,” Gabriel commented, when they had sat down to eat. Their totems rested in an intertwined white-and-red heap while Dean's wolf positioned himself at Castiel's feet. Gabriel raised his brows at the sight, but said nothing about it.
Castiel frowned. "Why?"
"Nearly every female we came across was pregnant." Gabriel smirked. "Must be awfully few options to spend the time."
"But it's a rather nice way to spend the time," his brother smiled shyly and Gabriel chuckled.
They ate in easy silence, and, only after they were done, Gabriel gave Castiel a sharp look.
"They are awfully protective about you. Are you sure you're happy here?"
"About the latter: yes, I am happy. Probably happier than I ever thought I could be,” Castiel commented with a dopey smile.
"Yeah, obviously,” Gabriel rolled his eyes, but his tone was fond. Castiel was clearly in love and loved in return. And wasn’t that just sickeningly sweet?
"About the former..." Castiel hesitated slightly and Gabriel tensed, which, of course, alerted the wolf. "Oh stop that, both of you," Castiel snapped, glaring at Gabriel and tugging the wolf by the ear. The wolf whined petulantly and lay down, sporting a definite sulk.
Gabriel stared at them. "Okay. Explain, please. How the hell is your alpha's totem here with you and why do you treat him like he's yours?"
Castiel winced. "It's because he's actually mine as well."
"Come again?"
Castiel inhaled slowly. "He connected himself to me the night I and Dean bonded. He's both mine and Dean's. Don't ask why or how." He gave a small pause, and then proceeded to tell Gabriel what had happened to him in Grey Castle.
With growing horror, Gabriel listened to the tale of Cassie’s first pregnancy, his miscarriage and depression, his attempt to take his own life, and the slow recovery back to life. No wonder he’d never sent a pigeon; he’d been too busy actually trying to stay alive. When he finished, Gabriel sat very, very still. He opened his mouth to speak, swallowed, blinked several times and then drowned a cup of wine before he attempted to speak again.
”I— Heavens, I'm so sorry, Cassie. I had no idea,” Gabriel stammered hoarsely. "Are you alright now?"
Castiel nodded and smiled. "I'm still going through it all, but, with Dean and Pamela, I'm getting better."
"So he's treating you right? He's a good alpha?"
"Yes, he is,” Castiel said softly. "More than good, better than I deserve. He believes I'm his true mate," he added with obvious wonder.
"Really?" Gabriel perked with interest. "I thought true mates were a myth."
Castiel shrugged. "Lots of things are different in the North."
"I've noticed," Gabriel agreed. They sat in silence for a moment, while Gabriel mulled over the information he had gained in such a short time.
"So, you like Sam?" Castiel teased, changing the subject.
"Who?" Gabriel asked.
"Don't try that with me. Sam, Dean's little brother? The one with the owl? Tall, handsome guy?"
"Oh, that one." Gabriel sniffed and brushed a nonexistent flake of dust from his shirt to cover his slight blush. "Terribly dull, very young, and impossibly serious."
"Sure. Whatever you say," Castiel grinned and Gabriel pretended to be offended.
Sam. At least I know your name now. That’s a start.
Grey Castle was an interesting place, and so very different from his family home. Gabriel observed keenly how the Northerners interacted with each other, their totems, and their nobles. Their love and devotion for Dean and Castiel was more than obvious, and Gabriel was honestly amazed how thoroughly the clan had adopted their new Laird.
And his little brother literally glowed in the attention. He seemed happier than he had ever before, and pregnancy really suited him. Gabriel couldn’t squash a tiny twinge of jealousy, watching Dean dote on Cassie, caring about him in dozen small ways, his adoration shining through every little gesture. He was extremely happy for his brother to have this special (if irritatingly righteous and so alpha) mate and pregnancy, after he had nearly lost everything.
It was summer, and the castle compound bustled with life and activity. It seemed like there was no strict hierarchy, but, instead, everybody did what they could. The first time Gabriel had seen Dean working alongside his men, he had stopped to gape. It was the first time he’d ever seen a Lord doing commoners’ work, and, for a moment, Gabriel was sure he was hallucinating. But he learned soon enough that, in the North, this behavior was considered normal.
He was baffled about it, anyway. Castiel saw his confusion, and they shared a long and detailed discussion about the differences of their childhood home compared to their new one. Castiel, being the mated and bonded Laird and expecting the heir for the clan, obviously felt very much home at Grey Castle already, but Gabriel was having a harder time. He was a dropout beta, an aging man with no special skills, and, frankly, not-so-pleasing character. What had he to contribute to the close-knit community?
When the midwife arrived, the reality of Cassie’s pregnancy truly kicked in. Gabriel had understood that there were actual tiny toes and fingers growing inside his little brother, but now he knew for certain, and boy, if that wasn’t a disturbing thought? The midwife, Missouri, was a formidable woman, a true force of nature, who commanded the room with a presence that seconded only Ellen’s. Gabriel wasn’t exactly sure if he was supposed to flee from her or trail after her with a stupidly smitten smile on his face, like Cassie did. And, well, when Gabriel commented obnoxiously about Castiel's future stretch marks and received a stinging lecture from Midwife Moseley, he did eventually flee, with Dean’s laughter trailing behind him.
When the expecting pair announced that they were having twins, Gabriel wouldn’t have been Gabriel if he didn’t make crude comments about Dean's virility. That earned an eye-roll and a dramatic departure from Sam, of all people, and Gabriel was left slightly shocked about Sam’s reaction and the feelings it aroused in him. He had gradually become aware that he was genuinely attracted to Sam, but he had no idea if the feeling was mutual. There was… something, though. They both were more than a little intelligent and Sam clearly enjoyed their mutual snapping, although they tended to end up shouting at each other more often than not.
The bickering had gone on for a couple of weeks before Gabriel’s frustration, both emotional and sexual ones, grew too great to ignore. He spent a good amount of time thinking about what to do, before decided just to go with it and to have an actual conversation with Sam, one that didn’t end up in shouting, slamming doors, and storming off.
He found Sam in the library, of course, going through the castle archives. As soon as Sam saw him, he stiffened, ready for the eventual fight. Gabriel grimaced slightly. If that was the gut reaction he was getting from the man, the odds for the talk going well weren’t looking too bright.
”I’d like to talk with you, if it’s alright?”
It came out as a question. Perhaps something in his voice gave him away, because Sam raised a brow, then inclined his head at the chair across the table. Gabriel gave a little sigh of relief and sat down. He folded his hands in front of him and stared at them for a moment, frowning. Then he sniffed.
”I’m not exactly sure how to do this,” he huffed, a bit frustrated. Sam didn’t say anything, but cocked his head just a fraction, as a gesture of I’m listening.
”I’d like to get to know you better,” Gabriel said quietly, and saw Sam’s eyes widen in shock. When Sam opened his mouth to answer him, Gabriel held out a hand.
”Please, just, listen. Okay?”
Sam gave a terse nod and Gabriel nodded once, just to reciprocate.
”I — I like this place. I never felt like home in the South, not even with all the privileges I had. The only one I felt close to was Cassie, and when he left, I had no-one.”
Sam snorted despite himself, and Gabriel barked a humorless laugh. ”It’s true. Despite of all my experience, I’ve never had anyone, not really. I’ve always been alone. Our family was not an affectionate one.”
”Tell me about it,” Sam murmured, eyes distant, and Gabriel had a good guess of what he was thinking about.
”Yeah. Well…” He raked a hand through his hair, suddenly very nervous. What if Sam thought he was an idiot, an old man pursuing a wet dream that had nothing to do with real life? What if Sam laughed at him? Gabriel swallowed and blinked rapidly. This was not going the way he had thought.
Sam broke into his thoughts.
”What do you mean, exactly? Getting to know me better?” Sam’s tone was careful and his hands were flat on the table, not crossed against his chest. At least that was good — he wasn’t rejecting Gabriel from the start.
”I’d like to court you,” Gabriel blurted, before he was able to stop himself. He was staring at his hands to avoid seeing Sam’s face, but he heard the sharp intake of breath just perfectly.
”Why?”
Gabriel’s eyes snapped to Sam’s. ”Why? Because you’re gorgeous, you’re — you’re the Shaman of Sex or something!”
Sam’s brows shot up, but he blushed anyway.
”But, it’s not just that, you know,” Gabriel continued. ”You’re gentle and kind, you treat your people with respect, you’re loyal and devoted to this clan. You’re also the smartest person I’ve ever met. And you’re funny, at least when you’re not acting too uptight. And, most importantly, Cassie considers you as a friend, and, coming from him, that’s high praise.”
There was a long silence, but Gabriel waited it out, letting Sam think things through.
”I’m not a toy, Gabriel,” Sam’s voice was quiet.
”I’ve no intention of treating you as one,” he answered softly, scolding himself for actions or stories that had obviously led Sam into thinking like that.
Sam chewed his lip and stared somewhere behind Gabriel’s left ear. ”I’ve never done this before.”
”Neither have I,” Gabriel admitted, and when Sam looked at him, disbelief evident in his eyes, he hurried to add, ”I mean it! I’ve had plenty of males, yes, but I’ve never courted anyone. I’ve never met anyone I’d want to court before.”
Sam watched him for a long time before averting his gaze. ”I need to think about this.”
Gabriel nodded.
It wasn’t a ’no.’
”What do you want?”
Ellen’s voice was sharp and her eyes dubious. Gabriel had wandered into the kitchen to get something light for Sam to eat. He had yet to receive his answer to the courting question, but he figured that a light lunch might not hurt. Sam had been pouring himself into the archives, looking for anything related to the sudden proliferating burst the whole castle compound was experiencing.
Gabriel stopped and looked the Matron straight in the eye. ”I was wondering if I could get a pitcher of mint tea and some bread and cheese.”
He saw Ellen’s lips press together in an unhappy line.
”It’s not for me, but for Sam,” he continued. ”He’s been researching, and, because of that, he’s forgotten to eat. Again.”
Something in Ellen’s eyes softened, just a fraction, and she prepared him a tray laden with food. Gabriel sighed with relief. He hadn’t actually believed that he could pull this off. Ellen was fiercely protective of ’her boys,’ as she called Sam, Dean, and Castiel, and Gabriel was surprised she hadn’t flayed him in public after his stunt to Cassie in the meadow.
When Ellen handed him the tray, she didn’t let go.
”What are your plans, Gabriel?”
He kept his stance relaxed and didn’t cower under her stare. ”Whatever he wants.”
Ellen nodded. ”Damn right. Now go feed the boy.”
It wasn’t until he had fed Sam the bread and cheese and most of the mint tea that he realized that Ellen had finally called him by his name.
Courting Sam was exhausting. If Gabriel hadn’t been so sure of what he wanted, he probably would’ve dropped the process after the first week. It was stressful to try and prove himself to Sam on daily basis, and, in addition to that, to endure Ellen and Bobby keeping an eye on him. He believed that Cassie and Dean suspected something too, but they never asked about it — although Gabriel could remember several occasions when Cassie had been obviously tempted. Fortunately for him, they were completely preoccupied with Cassie’s pregnancy and still too freaked out by the knowledge of having twins to pester Gabriel too much.
On the other hand, courting was also very, very nice. Sam was exceptionally intelligent and quick to learn; he had a brilliant mind, a quirky sense of humor and a surprisingly extensive knowledge of old Northern mythology for someone so young. And then there was Sam’s connection with his totem, something Gabriel had never in his life even dreamt about being possible.
And here he was, an aging, pathetic man courting an astonishing beta male, who was able to skinwalk. The mere idea of it made his head spin.
And, as it turned out, his fox was even more enthralled than Gabriel himself. Sam’s owl tended to be away a lot, but when he was present, the fox practically rolled over in his eagerness to please. The first time it had happened, Sam had been immersed in his reading with his back to the totems, thus missing the show. Gabriel had thought he might die of mortification, had anyone walked in and seen his fox’s behavior. The owl hadn’t been especially impressed.
Also, despite his initial eye rolling, Gabriel soon realized that he liked the library and the archives. He had always known he had a good memory, and that he could memorize patterns and pictures with just one look. The ability had never really sunk in, because it had been useful mainly in memorizing the routes and entrances to various wine houses years back.
The realization hit him when he was idly leafing through an old tome, and suddenly came across something familiar.
”I’ve seen this before,” he muttered to himself.
”What?” Sam asked absently.
Gabriel frowned and looked at the pattern more closely. ”I said, I’ve seen this before.” He closed his eyes, frowning a little when looking back at the tomes and scrolls he had glanced through earlier, until he found the right one. He opened his eyes and went to retrieve the right volume and scanned the pages to find what he was looking for. When he did, he smiled a small, satisfied smile.
”Here,” he said and shoved the two volumes closer to Sam.
Sam didn’t even look at the books, but kept his eyes at Gabriel. ”How did you do that?”
Gabriel shrugged. ”It’s how my memory works. It’s always been like that.”
Sam’s face split into a huge grin, and Gabriel swayed a little, taken aback by the sheer power of it.
”I knew there was a reason to keep you!” Sam laughed and jumped off to gather a heap of scrolls.
Gabriel sat at the table and wondered if he had heard him right.
”Is there a reason why we’re researching this?”
Gabriel’s eyes stung and he stretched with abandon, wincing at the loud pop from his neck. Ever since Sam had found out about Gabriel’s eidetic memory, he had poured his attention into the research with fervor. And, because Gabriel couldn’t deny anything from this brilliant young beta, he had dived in with him.
”Sam?”
”Hmm?”
”Would you mind reminding me why we are here, in the dusty library, instead of out there, in the sun?”
”You know why,” Sam commented absently.
Gabriel yawned and rolled his shoulders. ”I think I might have lost the knowledge under the tomes somewhere. So, please, enlighten me, O Bright One.”
Sam shot him a dirty look, but Gabriel tilted his head and put on his best innocent face. It earned him a snort, but at least Sam leaned away from the stack of books and stretched.
”We are searching the archives to find something that would explain Castiel’s connection to the plain excess of everything. I have no idea what we’re actually looking for, but…” He stood up and started to pace back and forth. Gabriel didn’t complain, because it offered him a perfect view of the young beta.
”So, what do we have, so far?”
Sam stopped and looked at Gabriel with an expression that Dean had labeled a ”bitchface.” It was an accurate description, but Gabriel had enough sense not to mention it aloud, because he did actually want this relationship with Sam. He tried rationality instead.
”I mean it. Why don’t you go through everything and make a summary of what we know. Things usually get clearer when you voice them.” He knew that Sam and Dean had gone through the information together several times already, and Sam had briefed him after he had included Gabriel in his research. But going through it again would give Sam the chance to collect his thoughts and calm down.
Sam raked his hand through his hair and took a deep breath.
”Okay,” he sighed. ”Okay. So. The facts we know: Dad made the arrangements for Dean and Cas to mate. Nobody knows where he found out about Cas or how he even got the idea to look for him. He only announced that he had found a mate for Dean, and that the omega was from South. Dean’s wolf was exceptionally interested in Cas from the start and connected with him the night Dean and Cas mated. Cas’s suicide attempt forced me to skinwalk and save his life, and dozens of totems were ready to lay down their lives, along with the lives of their humans, to save his life, if I had failed.
”Cas’s heat cycle triggered a wave of heats around the clan, and practically everything that could get pregnant did get pregnant. We’re having difficulties actually managing everything.”
Sam paused and shook his head in amusement.
”If everything goes well, we’re going to have the harvest of a lifetime. I’ve never felt so stable and content than I’m now. It’s like having Cas here is good for everyone, not just for Dean, although the effect on him is the strongest. And I’m not talking about just his new ability to broadcast to the whole clan at once.
”The written lore we have is a bit on the sparse side, because our ancestors didn’t really write anything down. Everything was passed on as spoken lore, and so much has been lost with the language. Dean says he knows that they are true mates, and, with all the evidence practically slapping us in the face, I’m not arguing with him.
”He told me that, long ago, mom had said something about the true mates blessing the land and clan, which would make Cas a kind of a… mascot, I guess. A fertility icon of sorts.” Sam shrugged and huffed in frustration.
”And what have we found from the archives?” Gabriel prompted, pleased that Sam appeared a bit more collected already.
Sam made a face. ”Nothing, really.” When Gabriel raised his brows, he rolled his eyes in return. ”Well, nothing usable, anyway. With your help we’ve managed to collect a bunch of glyphs that appear frequently in the oldest texts, but without the knowledge of how to decipher them, they are pretty much useless. ”
”Are they? Don’t you have anyone who would know how to read them?”
”Well…” Sam bit his lip. ”We sort of do, but the problem is that she’s… Well. I wouldn’t call her blind as such, and I wouldn’t say that to her face, but she definitely can’t read something written down.”
Gabriel tapped his fingers to the table for a while. ”How about if we carve them on something? Like a – a wood block? Or a potato? She could read them with her fingers, right?”
Sam jerked to stop. ”That’s brilliant!” He exclaimed. ”I could kiss you right now,” he added, and then his eyes went wide and he tensed up with the realization of what he’d just said.
There were very few things Gabriel would’ve wanted as much as a kiss from Sam, but he decided to spare the younger beta from embarrassment. He leaned back on his chair, opened his arms wide and bellowed, ”Well, come on, baby! I’m ready!”
Sam snorted and hit him in the head with an apple.
They decided to use wooden blocks, mainly because they didn’t rot and they didn’t have to ask Ellen. There were a total of six glyphs that appeared repeatedly in the texts, and they set on the task of meticulously carving them into the ashwood blocks. Gabriel found out that he actually enjoyed the activity, the steady, concentrated carving, where he could zoom in on details and forget the world around him. It was a little surprising, and he filed the new information away, for later reflection at an appropriate situation in the future.
He tried to ask Sam about the lady who they were going to ask to decipher the glyphs, but Sam merely shrugged.
”Honestly? We don’t know much about her. Nobody knows how old she really is, and, for as long as I can remember, her eyes have always been white. Cas adores her and Dean is either scared or jealous or both, not that he would ever admit it,” Sam chuckled.
”And you?”
Sam lowered the piece he had been carving and frowned. ”I don't know. Pamela can be a very scary lady if she so chooses, but I don’t think I’ve ever been as terrified of her as Dean. I respect her and I’m always a bit wary around her, but scared?” Sam shook his head. ”No, I don’t think so.”
Okay, Gabriel thought. Perhaps Pamela wasn’t so bad, if only Dean was afraid of her.
Pamela was absolutely terrifying. She commanded the room with a presence like Gabriel had never met before, passing the traumatic experience with Ellen by tenfold. Her eyes seemed to see right through you, to your core, and, for Gabriel, who had tried to pretty much hide his true self for the majority of his life, the experience was simply horrible. Rationally, he was almost able to convince himself that she couldn’t see into his mind, but his emotional self was a sobbing heap.
It was a good thing that Sam was there, and that her interest was piqued by the glyph blocks.
”Oh my. You’ve been busy boys, haven’t you?” Pamela said with an amused quirk of her brow. ”Good to know that Castiel isn’t the only one who’s researching important stuff.”
”What?” Gabriel managed faintly.
”Oh, he suspected I’m a Spirit Healer.” Pamela’s laugh was surprisingly pleasing, and Gabriel realized he was grinning despite himself. ”Oh, If only I was. Many things might have been easier…” Her voice trailed away, and the betas waited politely for her to pick up the conversation.
”So, you have glyphs. How did you end up carving these?”
Sam cleared his throat. ”These six are the ones that popped up repeatedly in the old texts, and we kind of figured that they might be important.”
”Oh,” she said, stroking gently the carving on one block. ”And how did you managed in that?”
”You mean how did we find them? It was Gabriel, actually,” Sam clarified, and Gabriel so didn’t like the sharp, white stare directed at him. ”He’s got an eidetic memory, and once he started to pinpoint the glyphs that popped up the most, it was surprisingly easy.” He grinned at Gabriel, who gave him a tentative smile.
Pamela let out a noncommittal sound and arranged the blocks in a straight line to the table.
”Well,” she said, a peculiar note of finality in her voice. ”You managed to pick up the important ones, at least. You have Áhčči, Eadni, Ráhkestit, Ráfálaš, Dorvvolašvuohta and Heagga. A rough interpretation would be ’alpha, omega, to love, peace, safety and security’, and ’people’ or ’soul.’ Although they do mean a lot more, depending on the context they are used. Unfortunately, my knowledge isn’t extensive enough to tell you much more than that.”
”But… what does it mean?” The frustration in Gabriel’s tone mirrored how he felt.
Pamela arranged the blocks in a circle. ”What do you think it means?”
Sam huffed and raked his hand through his hair. ”It’s all connected to the true mate bond between Cas and Dean, isn’t it? I mean, all the glyphs curl around the concept of family and clan, of the wellbeing of us all, and somehow, there, in the center is the alpha/omega pair.”
Gabriel listened absently and watched Pamela’s hands move the blocks in different formations: from a straight line into a circle, from a circle into a two-by-tree block; from a two-by-three into a…
”It’s a puzzle!” He blurted, and Pamela’s hands froze.
”What?” Sam asked, confused.
”It’s a puzzle,” Gabriel repeated and jumped from his chair to scrutinize the blocks more closely. ”You kept moving the blocks, but every now and then some of them just fit. But… when you place them like… this –” he moved the blocks rapidly, ”– you’ll end up with a new glyph.”
He straightened slowly and stared at the glyph in front of him. It was bigger, more elaborate and somehow full, and, even though he had guessed right, the result managed to take his breath away.
Pamela leaned back on her chair, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. ”You’re a bright one, aren’t you?” She turned her eyes at Gabriel, who managed to meet the stare without a flinch.
”Not especially,” he answered, which was pretty much the truth. ”I’m perceptive, I see how things connect.”
”What is that?” Sam breathed, eyes fixed at the glyph. ”It’s beautiful!”
Pamela traced her finger slowly along the carved lines of the new glyph. ”It’s Boahtimuš. It is origin, beginnings, source, birth and foundation. It’s the center of everything and everything is in its center. It is.”
Gabriel cocked his head and frowned. From the corner of his eye he saw Pamela turn her head a little, but he didn’t pay it any attention. He walked to the other side of the table and looked. ”Is this ’Eadni’ – the omega?” He asked after a moment of intense scrutiny.
”Yes.”
Gabriel nodded a couple of times, then he gave a little laugh. ”That’s it!” He exclaimed, delighted.
”What is?” Sam inquired in obvious confusion.
”Look, Sam,” Gabriel pointed at the Eadni-glyph. ”See how the omega is in the center and connects with each and every other glyph. You can remove some other blocks and they still stay connected to each other, but if you remove Eadni –” he demonstrated by removing the block with said glyph, ”– everything disconnects.
”Cassie is the one to bind everything together. That’s why the totems reacted with such conviction and why we’re having the harvest of a lifetime. Cassie is Boahtimuš.”
Sam blinked several times and sat heavily down, trying to process the information. Gabriel poured him a glass of leftover mint tea, softly brushing Sam’s fingers when he handed it over. He poured another glass and offered it to Pamela, who politely declined.
”So, what are you going to do now?”
Gabriel looked at Sam and shrugged. ”I don’t know. We probably need to tell Dean, but I’m not so sure we should tell Cassie. He would most likely freak out big time, and…” He shook his head and pressed his lips together. ”I’d rather not disturb him too much right now. There’s time to tell him later.”
Pamela nodded. ”I believe that’s for the best for now, yes. Just keep in mind that Castiel is a strong-willed person, and if he wants to know something, he will find out about it.”
Gabriel declined pointing out that he did know his brother well enough, thank you very much. He was pretty sure that Pamela was able to geld him in his sleep, and he’d rather keep himself whole, just in case. So, he sharply nodded his agreement, although there was a nagging suspicion that Pamela knew all too well what he had been thinking about.
As Pamela stood up to take her leave, she shot Gabriel a Look, and he rose to see her to the door. When she was about to exit, she leaned a bit into his space.
”He likes you,” she voiced into his ear. ”Don’t muck this up.”
Gabriel swallowed. For all the people he had come across in his life, he just had had to fall for a man with a scarily protective extended family.
Dean took the news of his mate being the center of everything quite well. But then, Dean thought that Cassie was the center of the world already, and the news served only as a confirmation that the rest of the castle was finally catching up.
”So, this affects our lives exactly how?” Dean asked, his mouth full of fresh berries from the bowl on the table. Despite all his nobleness and grace, the Lord of Grey Castle was perfectly capable of disgusting table habits, and Gabriel snorted at the thought.
Sam shrugged. ”It doesn’t, I think. The totems already know, and so does the land. You just keep on doing your…” Sam waved his hand obscurely, ”…happy thing or, whatever, and everything is fine. As long as you stay together and love each other, the Boahtimuš stays complete.”
Gabriel glanced at Dean, and whoa! That was some intense emotion flashing briefly in his eyes.
”Oh, believe me Sammy, I’ve every intention of doing exactly that.”
Sam gave his brother a gentle smile that told of years together, an intimate knowledge gained by living their whole lives in each other’s pockets.
”I know, Dean,” he chided, before his face grew serious again. ”But I don’t think we should tell him just yet. Or, if we tell him, we should give him a shortened version.”
Dean nodded. ”I agree. It would overwhelm him, and I’d rather keep things calm for the time being.”
Gabriel arched his brow. ’Calm’ wasn’t perhaps the term he would’ve chosen to describe pregnant Cassie, but he wasn’t mated, so what would he know. Dean noticed his expression and grinned.
”Well, better you than me,” Gabriel snorted. ”What are we going to do about the blocks?”
”I don’t know,” Dean frowned and glanced at Sam. ”What do you think?”
”We save them, of course,” Sam shrugged. ”Perhaps we should continue researching, to see if we can find more of the important ones.”
He looked at Gabriel, who nodded enthusiastically. Yes, research with Sam was good, because it meant more time with Sam. Besides, he had gotten an idea about the blocks he wanted to explore.
”Okay then,” Dean piped cheerily and slapped his hands to his thighs before getting up. ”You keep up the good work, I’ll go and make my mate happy. For the good of the clan, of course!”
”Shoo, jerk,” Sam chortled, and Dean flicked him in the back of his head on his way out, eager to return to Castiel’s side.
Gabriel watched the exchange with a twinge of jealousy. The easy and warm relationship between Sam and Dean was something he had never had with his brothers. He let his eyes rest on Sam, drank in the long lines of his frame and wondered if he would ever have more than these quiet hours in the library, if Sam was ever going to be ready to take their relationship further?
Sam surprised him by looking up into his eyes and giving him a bright, quick smile, before returning to stacking the books back to their places. Gabriel blinked, drew a careful breath and decided, that if this was all that Sam could offer, he would settle for it. Because even like this, it was good.
Now that the desperate need to find out what was going on had been quelled, researching became a pleasant routine. Gabriel would meet Sam in the library, they would dive in the books, searching for the glyphs that popped up often, comparing notes and setting the more promising volumes aside. Because Sam tended to forego food and drink, Gabriel took the task of taking care of the lunch break and dragging the younger beta out of the library at least once a day. Sam gradually relaxed in his company, and Gabriel slowly realized that perhaps he didn’t have to play a role all the time.
But, to be honest, it was hard to figure out what and who he was when he wasn’t playing a role. He had been tricking himself and everyone around him for so long that he had nearly lost himself, and rediscovering himself proved out to be more difficult than he had first thought. It helped that Sam, despite his shyness and young age, bought absolutely none of his bullshit, and Gabriel was a bit surprised to realize that he actually wanted to prove his worth to Sam.
The quiet afternoons in the library soon became Gabriel’s favorite time. They would sit side by side and read, and sometimes they would glance at each other and grin about something they had found from one of the volumes. Gabriel started to crave more of these moments when everything else seemed to fade away, and all there was were him and Sam.
Of course, it was one of those afternoons that they were nearly caught.
They were sitting very near each other, foreheads almost touching, enjoying each other’s company, and forgot to listen to possible footsteps. When they heard Castiel and Dean entering, they jerked away from each other, and Sam flushed and bounced off from his chair. Gabriel pretended to be busy studying his fingernails, but he didn’t miss the way Castiel glanced sideways at Dean and the pair shared a grin.
Oh, shit.
"Hi bro!" Gabriel piped brightly. "What brings you here?"
It made Castiel turn to Dean with a little lost look on his face. Dean gave him a tight smile before he turned to speak to the betas. "I think it's time to have the talk now."
Sam and Gabriel shared a look. "You sure?" Sam asked, a slight frown on his face. Dean didn't answer, but gave his brother a level stare that even Gabriel was able to read fluently.
"Okay," Sam placated. "It's fine by me."
Castiel narrowed his eyes, shooting them a look that Gabriel had learned to recognize pissed off. "Would someone please enlighten me? Seems like I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on."
Dean pulled out a chair for him. "Sit down, Cas," he asked, pulling another chair for his legs, fussing like a mother hen. Gabriel stifled a grin.
"So..." Dean glanced at them, seemingly a little loss of what to say.
Sam stepped up to help. "So, Cas. We've been digging through the archives about the info regarding our ancestors. We all know that Dean believes you to be true mates, and we think it's actually for real."
Castiel frowned. "But Pamela said that it's unlikely?"
Sam smirked. "Pamela likes to give you something to think about and then let you draw conclusions yourself. She didn't exactly deny it, did she?"
When Castiel shook his head, Sam nodded. "Yeah, thought so. Pamela probably thought that if she came clean right away we wouldn't have taken her seriously. She's got a lot more knowledge than all of us combined, but she doesn't give anything away too easily.”
Gabriel could vouch for that. He had met Pamela only a handful of times, and the alpha female had scared the shit out of him, every time. He had no idea how Cassie put up with her.
”Okay,” Castiel blinked.
"Yeah. Right. So, there's you, pregnant with twins; practically all mated and fertile females of our clan are pregnant as well; our livestock is thriving, and it already looks like we're going to have a harvest of a decade." Sam paused and rubbed his neck, glancing at Dean.
"I told Sam that I remembered something our mom had told me when I was little. It was something about true mates benefiting the whole clan." Dean drew a breath. "We believe that my wolf connected with you because he recognized you as my true mate. And we think that's also the reason why the totems were so ready to lay down their lives for you."
He knelt in front of Castiel, who stared at his alpha in bewilderment, and took hold of his hands. "You are my true mate, Cas, but you are also the living life force of our land."
"What?" Castiel croaked.
"Well, bro. It seems that your union with our charming alpha here has kicked the whole Grey Castle region into a full bloom of proliferation. Congratulations, you are a fertility symbol come to life." Gabriel kept his tone light, but he was dead serious underneath.
Castiel looked lost, and Gabriel couldn’t really blame him. ”But— How—?”
Dean shrugged and looked briefly at Sam.
"We don't know," Sam’s shrug mirrored Dean’s. "There's not that much in the archives because our ancestors didn't record their history in writing. So a lot of it has been lost with time. We know that the majority of native Northerners are of shaman blood, which is obvious by the way we are connected to our totems.
"After your arrival and especially after..." Sam's voice trailed off and he looked uncomfortable.
"I tried to take my own life." Castiel concluded. "You can say it out loud, Sam. You saved my life, after all.”
Gabriel cringed inwardly. He was so not okay with the fact that his brother had tried to take his own life. Oh, the burden Cassie had been carrying…
"Yeah, okay," Sam muttered and blinked. "Well, anyway, after that my connection with my owl got gradually stronger and I know I'm not the only one. And when you found out you were with pup and you had your panic attack, I felt you."
Gabriel turned to look at Castiel sharply, but Castiel shook his head. Oh, but they were definitely going to talk about it later.
Sam continued, oblivious to the exchange. "I don't know if it was because of our mutual connection to Dean or if you broadcasted your anxiety to everyone, but I felt it and I knew it was you.
"And when your brother arrived it was Dean who called all totems in arms, so to speak. It has never been done before, not that I know of, but then, we have no recorded data of an alpha totem connecting to their human's mate, either." Sam gave him a soft smile. "You seem to be the catalyst of many firsts, Cas."
Castiel’s eyes darted from his mate to Sam and Gabriel before he dropped them to his lap, to his belly. Even with his duller beta senses Gabriel could smell Cassie’s confusion, fear, and awe, and he didn’t envy his brother at all. He nudged Sam from the elbow and jerked his head at the door. Sam nodded as an answer, and together they silently left the library, leaving Castiel and Dean to their privacy.
”Do you think he’ll be alright?”
Sam glanced at him. ”He’s your brother,” he returned with a raised brow.
Gabriel shrugged, a little self-conscious. ”I think it’s fair to say that you know him way better than I ever did.”
”Different place, different times.” Sam’s tone was gentle.
When Gabriel informed Sam that he wanted to continue searching for the glyphs and carve them in the woodblocks, Sam didn’t question him. Gabriel was grateful, because the idea he had was so frail and shy that he was afraid it would dissipate if he was asked to explain it. So, he searched for the glyphs, drew them on ashwood blocks, carved them with care and love, and, just to make sure, burned the carvings with a poker. He collected the blocks into a bag and stored them in his room, and if Sam raised his brow at it, he never questioned Gabriel’s intentions.
The Midsummer was long gone, when Ellen informed that they were going to have a Feast. Gabriel was a bit baffled about Dean’s reluctance, but he understood it perfectly after Sam explained to him what had happened after the Midwinter Feast. Gabriel didn’t want to step on any toes (especially Ellen’s), but he was more than ready to argue against Cas organizing anything except what to eat next.
Perhaps that was the reason why he let himself be so easily coerced into taking the responsibility of planning the event in the courtyard with Sam.
The planning was equal parts of actual planning and furious arguing, but they got their plans done in time. Gabriel had been the one to provide lavish and outrageous ideas for decoration and activities (just to get reactions out of Sam), while Sam tried not to roll his eyes out of their sockets while countering every good idea Gabriel had. Eventually, they found a balance, just like they had known all along. They were only a little offended about the obvious disbelief from the others.
The day before the feast, they had been gathering birch branches and going through the different games they wanted to play out, they fumbled for something, turned around, and found themselves face to face, almost touching. Gabriel nearly vibrated with the need to touch, but he couldn’t, because it had to be Sam, it needed to be Sam, who initiated everything.
Which was why Gabriel stifled a sob when Sam leaned forward to give him a shy and tentative kiss.
He was really, actually, kissing Sam, it wasn’t just a dream. The kiss was over almost before it started, and Sam turned away, blushing, glanced quickly back at Gabriel, and grinned a little, before leaving the hall. Gabriel let out a relieved breath, turned, and —
— saw Dean, smirking at him with arms crossed across his chest.
"So, you and Sam finally grew a pair.”
Gabriel raised his brow. "Is this the moment when you give me the speech of breaking my legs if I break his heart?”
He knew he sounded cocky, but in truth, his insides were a nervous jumble. This was the true test: whether or not Dean approved of his and Sam’s relationship. After all, Dean was the Lord of Grey Castle, an alpha, and Sam’s big brother, and he had the authority to send Gabriel away. And Gabriel knew for sure that he didn’t want to leave, and the fact that Grey Castle felt like the only real home he had ever had, was the least of his reasons.
Dean grinned wolfishly. ”Oh no, not at all. This is the moment when I tell you that if you break Sammy's heart, I'll hand you over to Ellen. Welcome to the family, Gabe."
Dean winked and left, leaving Gabriel standing in the middle of the hall, a birch branch in his hand.
Welcome to the family.
It wasn’t exactly an offer to stand witness to their mating ceremony, but it was a permission. Gabriel stood in the hall with his birch branch and realized that there was a possibility he actually had a home and a family, right here. He stumbled only a little when he found a chair, sat heavily down, and buried his head in his hands.
Was he really allowed to have this? He was thirty-four summers old, twelve summers older than Sam. He was world-weary and cynical, had seen and experienced way too much even for a man for his age. He was an outcast in his own family, even more so than Cassie, and he was considered a disgrace — again even more than Cassie. But he had already understood that things were very different in the North. It seemed like no-one was that fazed about his relationship with their Lord’s little brother.
In fact, the thing that had royally pissed the Northerners off was his jumping on Cassie. But, after learning about the true mates thing and everything else related to it, Gabriel wasn’t surprised at all. He was surprised about having lived through it, though.
But he and Sam? They seemed to have Dean’s blessing — at least for now. For what Gabriel had seen of how Dean behaved around Sam, about their intense, deep friendship, he understood enough to feel extremely privileged and honored for being included in their family. After Cassie, Sam was the most important thing in the world for Dean, and, in accepting Gabriel, Dean let him know that he trusted his brother with him.
It was humbling, exhilarating, and terrifying at the same time. Gabriel had never been responsible for anything, not really. Even when his little brothers had been entrusted to his care, there had been their father and their mother to look after them, not to mention all the servants. Gabriel was never truly responsible for anyone else’s happiness and wellbeing, not until now.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there with the birch branch in his hand, contemplating the opportunity for happiness the Heavens had suddenly offered him. The weird Midsummer Sun glowed high in the sky, and there was no way to decipher the passage of time based on the glowing ball. It was only when Sam came looking for him, a little worried, that Gabriel realized he might have been drifting for awhile.
Gabriel glanced up at Sam. ”Your brother saw us, you know?” He marked dryly, proud that his voice didn’t shake.
Sam froze. ”What?”
”Dean was there, by the door. He saw us kissing.”
Sam blinked rapidly, a blush rising to his cheeks. He looked absolutely adorable, but Gabriel didn’t want to tease him at the moment of slight bewilderment.
”Oh,” Sam managed, a little strangled sound. ”What did he…?”
”He said that if I hurt you, he’ll hand me over to Ellen,” Gabriel answered flatly, and Sam’s lips twitched. ”And then he welcomed me to the family,” he continued softly, looking at his hands gripping the birch branch.
A moment of silence.
”Oh,” Sam said again.
He took a chair, placed it next to Gabriel’s, and sat down, reaching out for his hand. They sat together for a long while, holding hands in silence.
The morning of the Midsummer Feast dawned with a promise of rain. Gabriel was a bit put off, because if it rained, all his good plans were going to be ruined. Sam met him for breakfast and tried to assure him that, even if it rained in the morning, the Feast would be just fine. In fact, it would probably be just as well if it rained a bit, because at least the dust would then settle and the air would be clearer. Gabriel huffed and didn’t want to listen any sort of reasoning, just because.
In the end, Sam was right.
It rained a little, just enough to get the dust out of the air and make everything sparkle. The courtyard and Hall were decorated perfectly, Ellen’s food was excellent, the games were a success, and the sight of Cassie and Dean kissing passionately in the middle of the festivities really crowned it all. Gabriel could admit that he was slightly drunk and that was the definite reason why he felt all warm and mushy, looking at the Lord and Laird of Grey Castle in tight embrace, swaying slowly in tune with the music the fiddlers played. He caught Sam’s eyes and they grinned at each other.
Gabriel would’ve very much liked to dance with Sam, but he wasn’t nearly drunk enough to ask him. On the other hand, he really didn’t want to embarrass the younger man by making a scene in case Sam didn’t want to dance with him, not while there were so many of the castlefolk still up and celebrating. So he made a point at playing a good host, circling around and chatting, telling stories, spinning pups around, and volunteering an occasional dance here and there. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sam doing pretty much the same. They circled around the castlefolk and each other, drawing gradually closer and closer together, but never really meeting for real.
It was closing midnight, and the maids were gathering the food away. In his hazy state, Gabriel decided that he hadn’t had enough of Ellen’s sweet honey cakes. He scrambled to hoard a pile of them before the maids managed to stock away every last one of them. He was about to snatch the last cakes, when someone grabbed them from behind him.
Well, that was just rude.
”Hey, those were mine!” He snapped and turned sharply around. Or, tried to, at least.
”Really?” Sam asked, his eyes alight with laughter. ”Why don’t you get them then?” He had the cakes in his hand that was raised up high, because Sam was tall.
”Very, very rude. How am I supposed to get them? By climbing you like a tree?”
Sam raised a brow and said nothing.
Well then.
”You have one chance to give me my cakes!” Gabriel snarled in mock outrage, and then he jumped on the younger man.
Of course, it was a ridiculous endeavor. Gabriel was way too drunk to actually climb Sam, and, even if he had been sober, grinding against that gorgeous young beta was far more entertaining than climbing him. His antics ended up with Sam squirming and hissing at him, and Gabriel yelling something, and the people around them snickering and rolling their eyes.
”I really wanted the cakes,” Gabriel grumbled petulantly a short moment later from the ground where he had ended up sitting after his last attempt to climb to retrieve said treats.
”All you had to do was ask,” Sam chided gently.
Gabriel opened his eyes wide and let his lip tremble a bit. ”Please?”
Sam laughed and shook his head. ”Get up from there, you dumbass,” he snorted, helped Gabriel up, drawing him flush against his chest.
Gabriel felt suddenly hot.
Sam lowered his hand and fed him a honey cake, staring intently into his eyes. Gabriel was flustered, as if he was the first timer here and not the other way round. Sam’s body was firm and broad against him, his eyes like liquid fire in the light of the lanterns and the Midsummer Sun, and Gabriel felt safe and sheltered. Ridiculous, really — he was the older one, and it wasn't like he hadn’t been safe before.
When the last bit of cake had made its way in his mouth, Gabriel dipped his head forward a bit, sucked Sam’s fingers into his mouth, and Sam inhaled sharply. Gabriel licked all the leftover honey from the fingers in languid licks, staring into Sam’s eyes all the time, reveling in the sight of dilating pupils and slight flush on his cheeks. He couldn’t help nipping Sam’s fingertips a little, and had only time for a startled, but pleased hum before Sam kissed him with abandon.
They lost themselves in each other’s lips, kissing deeply and properly for the first time. Gabriel was vaguely aware that they were still out and in public, and, even though Dean had given his consent, the castlefolk might think a bit differently. He didn’t have the willpower to stop, though, not with Sam gathering him in his arms, and his — okay, that was a thrilling thing pressing against his stomach. He shivered a little, a delicious tremor running through him.
Someone was shouting something, but Gabriel didn’t want to listen. Then a piercing whistle cut through the lust-filled haze of his mind, and he leaned away from Sam.
”Inside. Now,” Ellen snapped, and her furious glaring was more than enough to cool Gabriel’s raging hard-on and force some of the blood back into his head to enable some higher brain function again.
Gabriel gripped Sam’s hand and dragged him inside, only to be slammed against the wall, when Sam attacked his mouth again.
”Sam, wait, we need to —,” he managed in between kisses.
Sam growled against his lips. ”Yeah, we do. We need to get in bed. Now.”
Gabriel cupped his face between his hands and forced Sam’s face a bit away from his. He missed Sam’s lips instantly, but this was far more important.
”No,” he said gently but firmly. ”I mean, yes, I want to get in bed with you, but we’re not going to do anything.”
Sam’s brow scrunched in bafflement and Gabriel pecked a light kiss on his lips.
”Don’t get me wrong, Sam — I want you pretty badly. But not like this, not when we’re both more or less drunk.” He stroked Sam’s cheek once. ”If I bed you, I want to remember everything. I want to be sober. You deserve it,” he said and kissed Sam again.
When he raised his head, Sam’s eyes were wide and dark. For a split second Gabriel thought he had made a mistake, but then Sam gave him a shy smile and rested his forehead against his. Gabriel stroked Sam’s back gently, and smiled at himself when he felt the younger man relax against him.
Then Sam sighed and raised his head a little.
”Can I sleep with you? I mean,” Sam hastily added, ”just sleep. In the same bed. Beside you. Please?”
”I wouldn’t want you anywhere else,” Gabriel smiled, took his hand, and turned towards his room. ”Come on.”
In the morning, Gabriel was a bit afraid to open his eyes. First, he had a splitting headache and wasn’t that keen on hyping it up by exposing his tender eyes to the brilliant sunlight. Second, he didn’t want to see the bed empty of Sam. Last night had been wonderful, the feel of Sam’s lips against his own and their bodies pressed flush against each other, and he just wanted to bask in the feeling for a little while longer. Sam wasn’t in his bed anyway, so —
”I know you’re awake.”
Gabriel snapped his eyes open in amazement, ignoring the flashing pain behind his temples.
”You’re here!” He stammered, feeling pretty stupid stating the obvious, but it was all he was capable of at the moment.
Sam frowned. ”Um, where else would I be? I asked to share the bed with you, remember? Unless you don’t want me here anymore.”
”No! I mean — yes,” Gabriel rushed to correct, and really, opening his eyes had been a mistake, but it still was worth it.
”Did you think I would leave?” Sam’s eyes widened slightly and his tone was incredulous.
Gabriel turned his head away a little and shrugged, aiming for nonchalance and failing spectacularly.
”Gabe,” Sam said so gently that it actually hurt a little somewhere inside Gabriel’s chest. ”I kissed you first, remember? On both occasions. I asked to sleep beside you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to, okay?”
”Yeah,” he answered hoarsely after a moment of hesitation.
Gabriel could feel Sam’s eyes studying his face, but didn’t dare to look him in the eye. Perhaps that was the reason why Sam’s decision scoop him into his side and wrap his arms around him took Gabriel completely by surprise. He barely dared to breathe, pressed so close to Sam. Sam smelled like stale mead, honey cakes and sweat, but it was the headiest combination Gabriel had smelled for a long time.
”You know, I really appreciate what you did last night.”
Gabriel couldn’t help himself. ”Getting drunk or trying to climb you like a tree?”
Sam snorted. ”You wish. No, I mean what you said. About wanting to be sober, when —.” He stopped and cleared his throat.
”If we mate, I want us to be sober, yes,” Gabriel finished softly for him.
”Yeah.”
”You know, we don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.”
”I know that. It’s just…” Sam huffed in frustration. ”I want to, I really do. But you are so much older than I, and —”
”Sam, I might be older and more experienced, but I already told you, this is new to me, too,” Gabriel interrupted. ”I want to do this right. This isn’t a mere tumble between sheets, this is you. So how about we just take things slow, okay?”
He gently stroked Sam’s chest once and left his hand flat against Sam’s heart. He could feel it beating a little frantically, before it slowly eased into a steady thump-thump-thump that encouraged his own heart to fall into the same rhythm. He more felt than heard Sam agreeing, before burrowing under his arm.
”I don’t think you should do that. I don’t smell that good.”
”Well, lucky you — I smell like strawberries,” Gabriel mumbled from Sam’s armpit and grinned at Sam’s chuckle.
According to Sam, the harvest that year was ridiculously bountiful. There was an overabundance of everything: the trees were drooping with fruit; the woods were full with berries and mushrooms; the crops were thriving; the lake overflowed with fish; and Ellen was having a hard time getting everything to fit. Dean had briefly entertained the idea of selling part of the harvest, but had soon backed out. The clan was going to have a significant increase in its headcount, and, therefore, storing everything for the good of the clan was more important than gaining profit.
In the end, after consulting Ellen and Bobby, Dean and Sam ended up building a whole new storage house to accommodate the enormous amount of food. The castleyard and the area right beside the castle compound was filled with racks to dry fish and fruit, and Gabriel was pretty sure that, by the end of first week of harvest, he could clean fish and slice apples in his dreams. He couldn’t deny the sheer sensibility of the project, though: drying was one of the most efficient ways of preserving food.
If the castleyard was a maze of drying food, the kitchen was something else entirely. Gabriel had probably never in his life seen such an amount of dried, pickled, salted and fermented food as he did that fall. In the beginning, he hadn’t known anything about the process, but he had been eager to learn. It hadn’t taken too many days for Ellen and him to realize that Gabriel had an innate sense of how to proceed, what to combine, and which herbs to use to achieve the best taste. Ellen had made Bobby, Dean, and Castiel taste both her and Gabriel’s versions of several relishes and jams, and, after Gabriel’s version had won each tasting, she had appointed him to a separate workspace in the kitchen and declared him the head of preserved products. Gabriel had raised had his brow at the title, but had accepted the offered apron with grace.
After that, he and Ellen had an understanding.
If someone had said a summer or two earlier that he would end up in the kitchen of a remote castle, cooking strawberry and lingonberry jam seasoned with rosemary and cloves, Gabriel would’ve laughed his ass off. But there he stood, by the stove, watching the slowly simmering jam with a sharp eye. It was deliberate business: too little time, and the jam would end up watery; too long and it would turn bitter.
He was having the time of his life.
The door opened and Castiel waddled in. Gabriel tried to be polite and not stare, but it was difficult. Castiel was very heavily pregnant, with the twins stretching him huge. Gabriel knew his brother was extremely self-conscious about his appearance, and no matter how much Dean almost worshiped the protruding belly, he felt bloated and ugly (Cassie’s own words). Gabriel was glad he had the pot in front of him as a legitimate reason to avert his eyes.
A maid rushed to offer Castiel a chair, and he lowered himself onto it as best he could, nearly flipping himself over in the process. Gabriel twitched despite himself — he wanted to help Cassie, but he had been on the receiving end of his stinging lecture often enough to know better. His brother insisted on doing things by himself for as long as he could, and Gabriel tried to let him.
Dean fussed enough for all of them, anyway.
”Howdy, bro,” Gabriel quipped and stirred the jam. When he glanced behind him, Dean’s massive wolf had crawled under Castiel’s legs to act as a footstool. Gabriel did a double-take and received a bland stare from the totem. Yeah, none of his business. He didn’t even pretend to try and understand the interaction between the wolf and Cassie anymore.
”Want a taste?” He asked instead, offering his brother a spoonful of jam.
Castiel took the spoon and blowed on it before taking a careful taste. He blinked several times and frowned at the spoon, before handing it back to Gabriel.
”Strawberry-lingonberry jam with rosemary and cloves,” Gabriel intoned, when Castiel opened his mouth.
”It’s… interesting,” Castiel ventured.
”It’s an experiment,” Gabriel winked. ”But perhaps a bit less clove, I think?”
Castiel scrunched his nose. ”Yes. I think so, too.”
Gabriel grinned and turned his attention back to the pot. He stirred the jam carefully a couple of times and decided it was ready. After he had removed it from the stove to cool for a moment, he turned back to his brother.
”So, what’s up?”
Castiel chewed his lip, glanced at him, then dropped his his gaze, and frowned at his hands. ”Are you serious about Sam?” He finally managed.
Gabriel sighed inwardly. He had been waiting for this conversation for a while, and was honestly a little surprised it had taken Cassie this long to question him.
”Yes,” he answered.
”Are you sure?”
”Yeah, Cassie,” he repeated patiently. ”I’m pretty sure.”
”It’s just… Gabe, I remember what you were like, back then. You chased after everything that moved and never stayed with one person more than a night. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
”Things are different now. I’m different,” he reminded gently with a tired smile.
Castiel didn’t comment, but raised a suspicious brow. Gabriel winced. He couldn’t really blame Cassie for his concern, because he had acted like an ass back in the South.
”I’ve talked this over with Sam, you know?” Gabriel sighed. ”I totally expected him to say no, or at least to vanish on me after the Midsummer Feast. But he didn’t, and I don’t understand why.”
He raised his eyes to meet Castiel’s gaze momentarily, before he turned again towards the stove and started to arrange glass jars for the jam. He worked mechanically, letting his hands do the work, repeating the moves again and again, until all the jam was in the glass jars and the lids tightly shut. He stopped and leaned onto the counter, taking a deep breath. He hadn’t heard Castiel struggle up from his chair and walk slowly to him and, for that reason, started when his brother hugged him. It was clumsy and awkward, with Cassie’s huge belly pressed between them.
”You love him, don’t you?” Cassie asked softly.
”I know I’m not good enough for him.” His voice was subdued and he didn’t look at his brother, not wanting to see whatever was in his eyes. He was spared, when he felt someone kicking him to the side.
”Was that —?”
Castiel grinned. ”Yes, it was. They want to tell their uncle to stop moping.”
”I’m not moping.”
”Yes, you are,” Castiel countered with an eye roll. Then he sobered and cocked his head. ”Have you told him?”
Gabriel turned to clean the pot of excess jam. ”I don’t want to push him. He needs space and —” He swallowed and gave a little nod. ”He doesn’t need an old man pressuring him into anything.”
”Gabe, you moron,” Castiel groaned. ”Sam is an old spirit, and you are old in summers only. Mentally, you are about the age of Benyamin.”
Gabriel snorted. Benyamin was the pup of one of the maids, a bright boy of about eight summers. Comparing the two might be considered as an insult to the pup. ”Don’t let the boy know it, he might get some ideas,” he quipped, which earned him a smack on the head.
”No, but seriously,” Castiel continued. ”You need to tell him, sooner or later. And you should well remember that Sam is Dean’s brother. You cannot force him into anything he doesn't want to participate in.” He paused and cocked a brow. ”Actually, you should also remember that, as Dean’s brother, Sam is quite thoroughly trained to get what he wants.”
Gabriel gave him a watery huff. ”They are stubborn, aren’t they?”
”Oh, they a — ungh!” Castiel’s grin turned into a grimace and he crouched a little.
”Cassie?!” Gabriel gasped in alarm. ”Cassie, are you alright? The pups?”
Castiel grasped his hand and pressed it tightly against his belly. Gabriel felt that it was hard, unlike before, before it softened again, and Castiel relaxed.
”False contractions,” Castiel said and leaned his forehead against Gabriel’s shoulder. ”I’ve been having them almost daily lately. Missouri says they’re normal, and that they prepare my body for the birth.”
”They seem quite painful.”
”Mmm… they are not painful as such, more like extremely unpleasant.” Castiel raised his head from Gabriel’s shoulder and looked at him levelly in the eye. ”Don’t tell Dean.”
”Don’t tell me what?”
Gabriel almost squealed. He had no idea how in the Heavens an alpha of Dean’s size was able to stalk silently right beside a person. Castiel blushed slightly and offered Dean a sheepish smile.
”Cas… tell me you haven’t been overexerting yourself again?”
”I haven’t been overexerting myself again,” Cassie offered quickly.
Gabriel snorted.
Dean closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. ”Have you had false contractions?”
”No?” Castiel tried with false innocence that fooled no-one.
Dean sighed and tilted his head slightly towards Gabriel. ”Really?”
”Um, no. He had one just before you came in.”
”Traitor,” Castiel hissed in annoyance, but had the sense to avoid Dean’s narrowed eyes.
”I’m not going to cross your alpha and have you give birth in the middle of the kitchen, thank you very much,” Gabriel said flatly.
”I’m not going to give birth here!” Castiel sputtered.
”No, you’re not, because I’m carrying you to bed now,” Dean said, and scooped his mate into his arms, ignoring Castiel’s embarrassed squeal.
”Dean, you idiot, put me down! I’m too heavy for you!”
Gabriel stifled a laugh at his brother’s glare, but he was pleased Dean was there. Castiel had dark circles under his eyes, and Gabriel wasn’t that thrilled about the tired lines on his face, not to mention his swollen feet. Cassie was way too stubborn for his own good.
”You are perfect just the way you are, Cas. And don’t even think about squirming down. I’m more than capable of carrying my omega, thank you very much.”
After the initial embarrassment subsided, Castiel rested his head on his alpha’s shoulder and wrapped his arm around his back, resting his other hand over Dean’s heart. Dean looked at him with utter adoration, and suddenly Gabriel felt like he was intruding a personal moment. Although, to be honest, almost every moment was a personal moment with Cassie and Dean, the pair being so ridiculously in love and wrapped up in each other that sometimes it made Gabriel’s teeth ache.
And sometimes it made his heart ache, but that was another matter altogether.
He turned a little sharply towards the stove, to occupy his hands with anything at all. He was surprised when the alpha called out to him before exiting the kitchen.
”Gabe, a word later?”
”Um, sure. I’ll be here,” he blinked and stared after them. Dean’s wolf followed shortly, Cassie’s ermine perched on his neck again.
He set on the task of cleaning up his mess, scraping and rinsing the pots he had used, before he started to prepare his next experiment. He wanted to try out a compote of peaches, pears, and onions, but he had no idea how to season it. He shrugged, started prepping the ingredients, and decided he would find it out on the way.
When Dean returned, the compote had been simmering on a low fire for some time already, and Gabriel had decided to try seasoning it with saffron and honey. Dean looked slightly mussed, and Gabriel strictly decided not to think about why. Images of his baby brother having a very heavily pregnant mating with his alpha wasn’t something he wanted to entertain himself with.
Ever.
”What are you up to now?” Dean asked pointing at the pot.
Gabriel winked at him and offered a taste, and looked with open interest at the expressions flickering on the alpha’s face.
”It’s a bit sour? But I think it might go well with roast,” Dean mused.
”I think you’re right,” Gabriel agreed after a careful taste. He poured a generous amount of honey to the pot, stirred it and tasted again. Satisfied, he set the pot aside and went for the glass jars.
”You like this,” Dean commented. It was an observation, but Gabriel decided to answer it anyway.
”Yeah. It’s a new thing, I have to admit. I’ve always liked to eat, you know, but I’ve never produced anything by myself. It’s… gratifying,” he said, because that was the closest thing to describe how he felt.
Dean nodded. ”My father dragged me and Sam around to learn how to work alongside our people. Back then, I thought it was futile, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Like you said, it’s gratifying, but it also makes me feel useful, that I’m contributing to my people. That I’m not just a figurehead.”
Gabriel shot him a sideways glance. ”To be honest, I don’t think you’d do well as a mere figurehead.”
Dean grinned and nodded. ”True. I’m barely managing as the Lord. Thank Heavens I have Cas and Sam.”
Gabriel gave him a small smile. ”You two are good together. I’m happy for you.”
Dean glanced at him with a genuine smile. ”Thank you.” He came to take a peek at Gabriel’s compote. ”Do you need a hand with that?”
Gabriel gaped at the alpha. Had Dean just offered to help him with canning his compote experiment? ”I — Sure, why not,” he grinned. He offered Dean oven mitts to protect his hands from the hot compote, and, together, they started to fill the jars.
”The color is pretty nice,” Dean commented, when they were halfway through the jars.
”It’s the saffron. Even a tiny amount of it gives this gorgeous golden color and a distinctive taste. It stains everything though, so it can be used to color things, like fabric. Did you know it comes from a flower?”
Gabriel realized he was babbling, but he couldn’t help himself. He glanced at the alpha, who was calmly screwing the lids onto the jars.
”Flower? Really? Which part?” Dean sounded genuinely interested.
”The stigmas. There are one to four flowers on one plant with three stigmas each, which means that one plant gives a maximum of twelve stigmas.”
Dean cocked his head. ”And how much did you use in this compote?”
Gabriel winced. ”I didn’t count. Sorry.”
Dean waved his hand. ”Don’t worry about it. I’ve noticed that saffron is expensive, but I had no idea why. Thanks for educating me.”
Gabriel raised a brow. ”You’ve noticed saffron’s price?”
”Of course,” Dean blinked. ”Ellen has a free hand running the kitchen and managing the castle, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on.”
Gabriel nodded mutely. The Lord of Grey Castle had managed to surprise him once more. He thought back to Michael and wondered if his big brother even knew what saffron was.
”Cas and I have a request for you,” Dean said after a moment of silence. ”We would like you and Sam to be present when the twins are born.”
Gabriel nearly dropped the scoop and turned a wide-eyed stare at the alpha. Dean merely raised his brow and nodded at the scoop, indicating to Gabriel to keep filling the jars. Mechanically, he continued on the task, trying to regain his composure.
”Why?” He managed.
”Because we need you, that’s why. Cas wants to give birth on a birthing stool, which means I’m going to be sitting behind him the whole time. And after they pups are born, we want them being held by trusted people, by family, and that’s why we need you. Both of you.”
They were out of jars and compote, and Gabriel had no choice but look at Dean. The alpha was serious, his eyes sincere. Gabriel swallowed at the enormous gesture of trust he had been offered.
”Are you sure?”
”I wouldn’t ask if we weren’t.” Dean screwed the last lid on, peeled off his oven mitts, and wandered to the other side of the kitchen, only to return with a pitcher and two glasses. He poured a thick, deep golden liquid to the glasses and offered one to Gabriel.
”Buckthorn liqueur,” Dean explained, and took a sip from his glass. Gabriel took a taste and coughed. It was strong and tart, very obviously for acquired tastes. Good thing that he had one.
”Interesting,” he managed to wheeze.
”It’s from Ellen’s secret stash,” Dean grinned.
They sat and sipped their drinks for a moment. Then Dean shifted and leaned back on his chair, staring out of the window.
”I’m scared,” he said quietly, and Gabriel perked up. ”I’m scared that something might go wrong, that I might lose Cas or the pups. I know we are in good hands, that Missouri will take very good care of everything, but I can’t help it. I can’t do anything but be there. I need —”
Dean choked and took a moment to breathe. ”I need someone I can trust. Someone who loves Cas as much as I do. There are no omegas that meet the requirements, and, no matter how much I respect Bobby, there’s no way in hell I’m willing to let another alpha in the birthing room.”
The silence that followed was slightly uncomfortable. Gabriel stared at the drink in his hand and blinked. Having grown up in an emotionally repressed household, he was at a loss when dealing with openly expressed emotions. The fact that Dean, a strong alpha and the Lord of Grey Castle, had just opened up like that… He didn’t know what to do.
”Sorry,” Dean sighed. ”I made you uncomfortable. But I hope you think about this. It would mean a great deal to me and even more so for Cas. Besides, you’re practically mated to Sam already, which means you count as family.”
Gabriel flinched despite himself. Dean, being the alpha he was, picked it up immediately.
”Is everything okay between you and Sammy?”
Gabriel glanced away and shrugged. ”I guess.”
Dean was silent for a moment. ”Is this the moment that I call for Ellen?” He then asked with an overly light tone.
”There’s no need for that,” Gabriel mumbled and rubbed his face. When he dared to look at Dean, he was met with a narrowed stare and lips pressed in a thin line.
”What’s he done now?” Dean cocked his head. ”Or not done?”
Gabriel winced and took a sip from his drink. It burned its way down, but he managed to stifle the cough this time.
Dean huffed a laugh. ”I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he muttered. Gabriel gave him a confused look. ”I mean, usually it’s Sam who’s more emotionally aware of everything, not me. But I guess it’s easy to be perceptive when it’s not about yourself.” He put his glass on the table, nodded at the jar of liqueur and pointed his finger at his glass.
”Pour me another one. I don’t think I can do this without a drink.”
Gabriel poured, and, after a slight hesitation, poured himself another one too.
”Sam’s a strange one,” Dean said thoughtfully, swirling the liquid in his glass. ”He sees and understands so much more than all of us combined, but sometimes he’s a bit blind. He’s an old spirit, as they say.”
Gabriel nodded. ”That’s what Cassie said,” he agreed and took a sip. Damn, but the drink burned!
Dean grinned. ”Cas is a smart one.” His eyes got a dreamy look and Gabriel huffed a laugh and shook his head.
”What?” Dean frowned at his drink before drowning it on one go. ”I love him. He’s my everything,” he said softly.
Gabriel didn’t say anything, but imitated Dean and drowned his drink. He couldn’t bite back a cough, but at least it wasn’t as profound as the first one. He poured them new drinks.
”Sam likes you, by the way. Really likes you.”
Gabriel shrugged and took a sip.
Dean shook his head. ”What the hell was wrong in your family when you both can’t accept that you’re liked.” He drowned his drink and slammed the glass at the table, hissing when he swallowed the liqueur down.
”Pretty much everything,” Gabriel countered and emptied his glass. ”Absent father, emotionally-distant mother, and a bunch of brothers who thought that fighting for dominance was more important than taking care of family.” He couldn’t stop bitterness bleeding into his voice. To steer them away from the gloomy thoughts, he poured them more to drink.
After a couple — several — glasses of the fiery liqueur, Gabriel felt he needed to use big words. ”I love Sam,” he declared. His tongue felt thick and he was hot. But otherwise he felt great.
”Good for you!” Dean toasted and drowned yet another glass.
Gabriel squinted to get a better look of the alpha. Dean was sprawled on his chair, face flushed, his eyes a bit vacant. He was probably quite drunk, but it was okay, because Dean was a pretty damn competent alpha, and Cassie’s mate.
”You’re good,” Gabriel pointed out, just to make things clear.
Dean saluted to that. ”So’re you. You should mate Sammy.” There was a slight slur in Dean’s speech, but it was understandable. The pitcher was empty, after all.
”Yeah,” Gabriel agreed. ”I sh’d.” He scrambled up and was surprised to realize that the floor was more uneven than he remembered. He glanced out of the window and frowned. He had no idea when night had fallen, but did it matter? Nope.
In fact, ”I should go find Sam.”
Dean nodded enthusiastically. ”You should. And tell’im you wanna mate’im.”
Yes! What an excellent idea. He gave Dean a wobbly wave and lurched his way towards the general direction of Sam’s room. It took him a while to find it, because someone had changed the layout of the castle without telling him. Probably for a good reason, but, still, it was a bit rude.
”S’m. I’d like to m’te with you,” he slurred as he finally stumbled into the younger beta’s room after an epic battle with the doorknob.
”Gabe?” Sam mumbled from under his covers, and Gabriel was pretty sure that Sam was the smarterest and wisest and gorgeousest male ever and he might have just said it out loud.
”Are you drunk?”
”Yeah? St’p’d.”
There was a rustle when Sam sat up in bed, gorgeous Sam in a gorgeous bed, looking at him with his gorgeous eyes.
”Did you just call me stupid?”
”No?”
”Yes, you did,” Sam chided, but it was okay, because Sam was gorgeous.
”You realize you said that out loud?”
”Oh. But ’tis true. The truerest thing ’ver said.”
Sam snorted. ”What the hell did Dean make you drink? You’ve forgotten how to speak.”
”Dean’s a grrreat ’lpha,” Gabriel intoned seriously.
”I’m sure he is. How about you come to bed and get some sleep?”
”Me. You. Bed,” Gabriel articulated, and was immensely proud to have the words out properly.
Sam nodded with barely contained laughter, which might have been a bit impolite, but it was Sam and Sam was gorgeous and entitled to laugh if he wanted.
”Yeah, yeah. Get in here.”
Gabriel stumbled to the bed and practically fell onto it. Sam was nice and rolled him to get his shirt and shoes off, and then he gathered Gabriel into his arms and spooned him. Being the little spoon was really, really nice.
”Love you. W’nna m’te you,” he mumbled before he passed out.
The morning greeted Gabriel with a splitting headache. He was in a strange bed, his mouth tasted like shit and he had no recollection of what had happened the previous night. Despite his raging hangover, he felt good: the bed was warm and soft, and there was someone spooning him. He turned around slowly, carefully, and peeked at his bedmate with half-lidded eyes.
”Morning, gorgeous,” Sam said with an amused grin. Way too amused for the occasion, and why did he emphasize the word ’gorgeous’ so pointedly?
”If you say so,” Gabriel grumbled and buried himself back under the covers. He might just die of mortification, but at least he could be relatively comfortable while on it.
The mattress dipped when Sam got up. Gabriel absolutely did not steal a glance from under the covers at Sam’s gorge — okay, what was the thing with the gorgeous, anyway?
After some shuffling around the room, Sam stopped. Gabriel lowered the blanket a little to take a look. To his disappointment, Sam was fully clothed and still sported that amused smile.
”So, I’m off to continue with the inventory. There’s some dried fruit and water on the table. Feel free to sleep in.” Sam bowed down to kiss his temple and stroked his hair away from his face. ”And to answer you,” he murmured into Gabriel’s ear, ”me too. And yes.”
Sam was by the door already, when Gabriel’s brain caught up.
”You too, yes, what? What?”
To say that Ellen was pissed at them for drinking all the buckthorn liqueur was a gross understatement. Gabriel was more than happy that Dean was there to bear the guilt, since there honestly was no way that Gabriel would have known where the liqueur was stored.
Besides, Ellen did know her Lord quite well.
”I truly hope you actually had a good reason to drink it,” she grumbled, pressing her lips together in a thin line.
”We did,” Dean bravely stated, cringing only a little under Ellen’s glare.
The Matron was not impressed. ”And?”
”We were having a manly discussion about feelings,” Dean said with an air of finality.
It might have worked, if Ellen hadn’t snorted in a very undignified manner. ”Really? Before or after you drank my liqueur?”
”Yes.”
”We didn’t really pay attention to the level of consumption,” Gabriel offered helpfully. He was still feeling a little shaky, although it was well in the afternoon and he had had breakfast. Or, he had tried, at least. Turned out that his stomach wasn’t exactly in tune with his mind.
”Yes, I sort of figured that out, thank you,” Ellen’s tone was dry. ”And where did you sleep last night?”
For reasons unknown to him, Gabriel blushed. ”In Sam’s bed,” he muttered.
Ellen’s brow lifted a little. ”Oh. And how did you fare?”
”Comatose,” Sam grinned, leaning on the doorframe. Gabriel hadn’t noticed him stalking in, but then, he wasn’t really at his best and brightest at the moment.
”How’s Cas?” Sam asked Dean, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
Dean grimaced. ”Pissed. He didn’t take well me stumbling in during the night, right after he had just managed to fall asleep.”
Ellen rolled her eyes. ”I wonder why.”
”Anyway,” Dean said, ignoring Ellen and turning to Gabriel, ”about our request. Have you thought about it?”
”What request?” Sam asked, walking to Gabriel and stopping right beside him, his arm brushing his shoulder. It was a bit distracting, but Gabriel reveled in the contact anyway.
”About you two being present at he birth,” Dean said, accepting a mug of strong tea from Ellen.
Sam mouthed a silent ’oh’ and turned to look at Gabriel with a hopeful smile. Gabriel was happy for the mug of tea Ellen shoved at him, and took a moment to concentrate on his drink. He couldn’t disappear in the mug for good though, and, eventually, he had to raise his eyes to look at the expectant brothers in front of him.
”Are you sure?”
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. ”I already told you, we wouldn’t ask if we weren’t sure.” He set his mug on the table and looked at Gabriel levelly. ”Honestly, Gabe. We want you to be there.”
Gabriel glanced at Sam and then nodded. ”Okay. If you really feel that way, then I’ll be there.”
”Good!” Dean chimed, drowned his tea and hopped down from the chair. ”I’m gonna go and tell Cas.”
”Could you tell him that I’ll come and see him later, if he feels like it?” Gabriel called after him, receiving a ’yeah, yeah’ as an answer. He grinned and then turned to look at Sam, who had an odd look on his face.
”You two really bonded last night, didn’t you?”
Gabriel shrugged. ”Well, what would you expect, after downing a pitcher of strong liqueur?” He winked and gulped down his tea, going after a nonchalant air and failing.
”Right,” Sam nodded slowly and stopped Gabriel when he was about to get up. ”Are you alright?”
Gabriel blinked and glanced at Ellen, who was standing by the stove, busily pretending she wasn’t listening. Sam followed his gaze, cleared his throat, and steered Gabriel out of the kitchen by his shoulders. They walked slowly out from the castle, Sam leading the way and Gabriel following, not really that interested in where they were headed.
The day was bright and the sun hurt his eyes a little, but Gabriel thought the previous night had been worth it. He wasn’t exactly sure when he had realized what a great alpha Dean was, and his initial suspicion and cynicism had turned into respect and admiration. In addition to his natural leadership skills, Dean was a doting and devoted alpha to his mate, and was going to be an exceptional father. His ability to admit his fears the previous night had only added to Gabriel’s regard of him. He knew that his own alpha brothers would’ve never been able to express that level of openness to him, let alone to a stranger.
He glanced quickly at Sam. The younger beta was walking at a leisurely pace, his stance relaxed and face smooth. Gabriel wondered briefly why Sam had wanted them to take the walk. Not that he wanted to complain — he enjoyed walking with Sam. For some reason, he always felt at peace with him. Sam had the uncanny ability to be still and project calmness around him, to soothe Gabriel’s jittery nerves without saying a word. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed being around Sam.
Gabriel’s thoughts wandered to the previous night. He had to admit that his memories were a bit hazy, but he had a pretty good recollection of him wandering through the corridors to look for Sam’s room, entering and having what was probably the most embarrassing conversation in his life. He had been ridiculously drunk, fallen in Sam’s bed, and —
— oh.
Eyes blowing wide, Gabriel let out a mortified huff and stopped when he remembered exactly what he had said.
Love you. Wanna mate you.
Blushing, he snuck a glance to his side and realized Sam had stopped too and was looking at him sideways, a small smile playing on his lips.
”Just recalled what you said? I already answered you, remember?”
Gabriel blinked several times, opening and closing his mouth.
”But… Why?” He finally managed. It wasn’t exactly what he had meant to say, but now that it was out in the open, he really had no choice but to wait for the answer.
Sam glanced at the sky, contemplating his answer. Gabriel appreciated it. Sam wasn’t one to give out flippant comments, preferring to think things through, especially when said things were important.
”I like you,” Sam finally said.
Gabriel made a face at the choice of word, but stayed silent.
Sam looked at him with an amused smirk, like he knew what he was thinking about. ”Don’t get me wrong here, Gabe. I think you’re very attractive, both in body and mind, but by liking I mean you as a whole. I like spending time with you, whether it's in the library, in here, or in bed. I like your wit, your sarcasm, and your mouth, even when you don’t think about what comes out of it. I also know that many think that I like being around people, when, in fact, I like to be mostly left alone.”
He turned to fully face Gabriel and cocked his head, a little frown on his face.
”You ground me. Sometimes I feel like I’m too… loose, too preoccupied with flying with my owl, and I forget that I’m supposed to be here. But you remind me. You make me eat, you make me respond to you, you force me to have breaks.” He shrugged. ”I guess you could say that you are my leash, preventing me from drifting away.”
Sam reached out to softly brush Gabriel’s cheek. ”What I mean is this: I love you too and I’d be honored to be your mate.”
Gabriel swallowed despite himself. He felt a bit out of his depth, standing here in the same meadow he had first met Sam after his unfortunate, stupid jump on Cassie. He wasn’t exactly sure if Sam had led them there on purpose or if they had just drifted there by accident. Nevertheless, it felt proper and meaningful.
”I think the honor is more on my part,” he tried lightly, but Sam shook his head in fond exasperation.
”Don’t sell yourself short. There’s no need for that.”
Gabriel was about to argue, but he forgot it all, when Sam bent down to silence him with a kiss.
Castiel was huge. Gabriel was pretty sure that his little brother would burst if the twins grew even a bit more, and yet there was still time before they would most likely be born. Midwife Moseley checked in on Cassie every morning, palpated his belly, and monitored his heart rate, the swelling in his ankles, and the positions and heartbeats of the pups. So far, everything seemed to be alright, although the midwife was quite sure that the pups would come early. It was the way of the twins, something about restricted space or something.
Gabriel didn’t exactly want to dwell on the anatomical facts of his brother’s pregnancy.
When he entered Cassie and Dean’s chambers with his fox silently padding behind him, the midwife was just about to finish her examination. Cassie was lying on his back, but as soon as Midwife Moseley was done, she helped him to his left side and propped his position with a pillow behind his back and another in between his legs. Gabriel’s fox jumped on the bed to curl around Cassie’s ermine, the totems forming a red-and-white furry pillow against the small of Castiel’s back.
”Have you been applying the oil?” The midwife asked while packing up her things.
Castiel shrugged a little and gave her a sheepish smile. ”No.”
The midwife frowned and turned to look at Castiel. Gabriel was fervently happy that he wasn’t on the receiving end of the reproachful glare.
”And why is that? I believe I explained clearly enough that oiling your belly, nipples and your entrance is an important routine that will help both with the delivery and the recovery.”
Ignoring Cassie’s half-hearted excuses, Midwife Moseley turned her stare on Gabriel, who instantly straightened his pose. ”Well, since you are here, you might as well help,” she said and steered Gabriel towards the bed.
”I — what?”
”Not the entrance, of course. That area is his alpha’s business up until the delivery, and then it belongs to me. But you can help Castiel rub the oil on his belly. It helps with the itching and stretch marks.” She raised her brow at Gabriel’s gaping expression. ”Chop chop, uncle.”
Dumbfounded, Gabriel climbed on the bed and looked at Cassie’s belly.
Yes, it was huge, and there were a couple of stretch marks lining the lower part of his abdomen. Gabriel didn’t say anything – he had learned his lesson the first time he had received a stinging lecture from the midwife about the proper way of discussing a pregnant belly. And now, seeing it right there, in front of him, the leering remarks were the furthest thing in his mind.
In fact, he was terrified.
Gabriel glanced at Cassie, who looked at him with an unreadable expression. The beta swallowed and reached out a hesitant hand, halting to hover above the protruding belly button. He hadn’t exactly touched Cassie’s belly before, being too intimidated and, honestly, afraid to do so.
”Go on. You can touch it,” Castiel said softly, and, because he knew his brother, took Gabriel’s hand and pressed it firmly on his belly.
Gabriel stifled a squeak and ignored the amused glance his fox shot at him. The touch was far firmer than he would’ve dared, but it seemed to be okay. He was about to ask if he should apply the oil, when someone kicked his hand.
”Oh,” he managed, and stared at the bulging belly with wide eyes. He could see shapes moving under Cassie’s skin, and then there was another kick.
”Oh,” he repeated and turned to look at Cassie.
”They are informing their uncle to stop being a coward and just go with it,” his brother grinned.
”Oh, right,” Gabriel stammered and set to work. From the corner of his eye, he saw the midwife nod approvingly and then leave the room.
Rubbing Cassie’s belly with the fragrant oil was surprisingly soothing. Gabriel was able to sink into a calm state of mind, rubbing slow circles into the taut skin. Seemed like the pups calmed down too, the circular motion soothing them as well.
After a moment, Cassie quirked his brow. ”Did you have fun with Dean last night?”
”Um. Sorry about that,” Gabriel grinned sheepishly. ”I heard that he woke you up when he stumbled to bed.”
”Well… I was irritated because I had just managed to fall asleep, and having a lapful of inebriated alpha crooning endearments to my belly wasn’t exactly the way I envisioned spending my night,” Cassie said dryly.
Gabriel snorted at the image.
”Anyway, he really likes you.” Cassie cocked his head and regarded him levelly. ”He said that you want to mate Sam, but are too chicken to do anything about it.”
”Ah… about that. Apparently I asked him to mate me last night.”
”…Apparently?”
”Um. Yes. But we did have a sober discussion about it before I came in here.”
”And?”
Gabriel ducked his head, busying himself with rubbing more oil on his brother’s belly. ”And he said yes.” His voice was quiet, like he was having troubles believing what had happened. Perhaps because he was.
Castiel reached out his hand to grip his forearm. ”I’m happy for both of you,” he said gently. ”Have you thought about when you’re going through it?”
”No,” Gabriel shook his head. ”We are barely coming to terms with actually going through this at all.” He paused the rubbing and frowned. ”Would you like us to mate before the pups are born?”
”Honestly? I don’t think it matters one way or the other,” Cassie shrugged. ”I think it’s better that you proceed at your own pace and mate when you feel like it. But you probably will require a formal mating ceremony due to Sam’s status.”
Gabriel nodded. ”Yeah, I figured as much.” Then he paused and grinned. ”You think we should invite Michael?”
Cassie burst into laughter. ”Well, that would be something, wouldn’t it? Can you imagine Michael here, amongst the Northerners? His head would probably explode from the total lack of propriety.”
They launched into a borderline hysterical discussion about all the things Michael would find utterly unacceptable, dissolving into fits of giggles and hoots of laughter every now and then. Dean’s wolf rolling his eyes at them only fueled their laughter to the point where the totem huffed and left the room with an annoyed swing of his tail.
As their laughter slowly subsided, Cassie’s eyelids were drooping, and, after helping him drink several gulps of Pamela’s tea, Gabriel assisted him in lying down, making sure he was comfortably on his side in order to avoid the nausea and lightheadedness, just like the midwife had instructed. He rubbed Cassie’s feet gently to reduce the swelling and stayed by his side until he drifted off.
Gabriel had continued his work with carving glyphs into the wood blocks. He was currently carving his 47th block and decided it was a good number to stop. He only had names for the six original glyphs, but he was determined to ask Pamela for help in naming them.
As soon as he got the courage to do so.
He cleared the blocks carefully, making sure not even a tiny flake of burnt wood remained in the carved curves of the glyphs. When he was satisfied, he sanded down the blocks as smoothly as he could, erasing the sharp edges and any possible roughness, and then went to look for Ellen. Gabriel was quite sure he would’ve been able to find a way to color the blocks all by himself, but he didn’t want to make any mistakes. Ellen squinted her eyes at him suspiciously, but, after Gabriel had explained what he needed and why, she complied eagerly enough.
With everything set and ready, Gabriel took a deep breath to steady himself. It was time to be brave. Gathering the blocks in the soft bag he used to store them, he went to find Pamela.
He found her easily enough, sitting right outside the castle walls, bathing in early autumn sunlight. In all honesty, Gabriel was pretty sure the alpha had been waiting for him. In true Northern style, her ptarmigan was nowhere to be seen.
He approached carefully and stopped at a respectful distance, not quite sure how to address her.
”Hello, Gabriel.”
Right. He should’ve known Pamela would already be aware of him.
”Good afternoon, Pamela,” he answered politely. ”I’d like to ask for your help with something.”
The alpha raised her brow and nodded her head a little, beckoning him closer.
”I’ve continued researching the glyphs,” Gabriel started. ”So far, I’ve managed to find 47 of them, counting the original six. I’ve carved them out of ashwood blocks, and I —” He paused and drew breath. ”I need your help naming them.”
She stared at him for a moment with her unnerving white eyes. Gabriel prevailed and stood still, waiting, with his fox in a respectful distance away.
Eventually, she turned her head a little and looked up in the sky. ”Why?”
”Um. Because I can’t name them myself?”
”No. Why did you do all this?”
Gabriel blinked. ”Because it felt right.”
Pamela didn’t say a word, and Gabriel pursed his lips, trying to organize his thoughts.
”There’s very little that I can do here,” he admitted quietly. ”I have no special skills, and, apart from making jams and compotes, I’m pretty much useless. But I see patterns and remember things, which has proven useful in the research we’re doing.”
He paused and glanced back at the castle.
”The shaman ancestors are important to Dean, and, through him, to Castiel as well. There’s so little anything written down, and, with so much of the language lost, we don’t know how to actually read the old tomes. But you know something about the old language, or at least enough to name the most common glyphs. I want to give the pups the opportunity to learn at least these glyphs, to offer them a chance to have a little piece of their history in their everyday lives.”
Pamela was silent for a long time, assessing Gabriel. He wanted to fidget, to ask her to answer already, but he stilled himself and waited.
Finally, she gave him a genuine smile. ”Let’s get to work then,” she said and tapped the bench, asking Gabriel to sit beside her.
Gabriel let out a long breath of relief and sat down. He offered the bag to Pamela, who took it and placed it on her lap. Gabriel had a pen, ready to write the names on the blocks as soon as Pamela had identified them.
Pamela picked up the first block, traced the carving gently, closing her eyes in concentration. ”Ásodat, home,” she said, handed the block to Gabriel to write the name on it, and picked the next one. ”Muorra, tree. Albmi, sky. Oktovuohta, loneliness. Borramuš, food. Čáppat, beautiful. Ilolaš, happiness. Moraš, sorrow…”
They went through the 41 unnamed glyphs, with Pamela studying each of them with the same meticulous precision and Gabriel dutifully writing their names down. He was going to burn the names in the wood later, just to make sure that the names stayed readable, even when Pamela was no longer there to translate them.
After they were done, Gabriel collected the bag back from Pamela and carefully placed the named glyphs in it. He felt oddly at peace and sat for a while beside the strange alpha, in no hurry to leave.
”Thank you,” Pamela said after some time.
”I’m pretty sure it’s me who’s supposed to be thanking you, not the other way ’round.”
The alpha shook her head. ”No, I need to thank you. This idea of yours is brilliant in its simplicity. I don’t think anyone else would’ve thought about it, let alone been able to find all these glyphs. So, thank you.”
Gabriel was speechless. Getting praise from Pamela wasn’t exactly a thing he had thought he would live through, and, for a fleeting moment, he had the urge to pinch himself, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
”So, when are you going to mate with Sam?” Pamela asked, derailing Gabriel’s thoughts.
”Ah…” Gabriel stammered. ”We haven’t decided yet.”
”But you are going to mate with him?” It was posed as a question, but somehow it felt like a warning.
”Yes,” he answered with a certainty that surprised himself.
”Good,” Pamela nodded. ”I’ll be expecting an invitation to your mating ceremony shortly.” With that, she stood up, inclined her head as a goodbye and walked calmly away.
Gabriel still wasn’t sure that he wasn’t dreaming.
”You two will stand right there and stay out of the way until I say otherwise, is that clear?”
They were in Dean and Cassie’s chambers, in an area that had been refurbished for the upcoming delivery. In the middle of the cleared area was a low stool that was more like a big letter C than a proper stool, but what did Gabriel know about births? Absolutely nothing. And now he was about to learn, and it scared the shit out of him.
”Is. That. Clear?” Midwife Moseley repeated with raised brows.
Jerked from his thoughts, Gabriel nodded, echoed by Sam’s ”Yes, ma’am.”
”Good. So, Castiel, you will sit in here, and Dean will have another chair right behind you, so that he’ll be able to support you the whole time.”
The midwife helped Castiel to sit on the birthing stool, his legs apart, and instructed Dean to sit on the low chair behind him. She explained that Castiel would be able to lean back against Dean’s chest in between contractions, and, when it was finally time to push, the alpha could support his torso and let his mate concentrate fully on the delivery.
”Of course, you will not be sitting there until it’s time to actually deliver the pups,” Midwife Moseley reminded. ”Keep on the move and upright. It will help you to dilate and guide the first pup down. Trust your body, it will know what to do. Rubbing the small of your back will also help, and that’s something you all can do.”
She gave a pointed stare at the two betas still frozen to the place she had ordered them.
”Well? Come here, you two. You don’t have to stand there until Castiel moves to the stool,” she said with an eye roll that Gabriel thought was perhaps a bit impolite. Not that he would even dream about saying it out loud. He had some self-preservation left, thank you very much.
The midwife walked them through the early stages of labour, reminded them of their appointed places during the active delivery, and gave a cursory introduction of how things would probably be after the pups were born.
”If everything goes alright, the pups will be held by their uncles, while Castiel delivers the afterbirth. After that, Dean will help him to the bed, where I will check for the possible tears. Then we will place the naked pups on Castiel’s bare chest, where they can scent their father and latch.”
Gabriel’s brain had sort of stopped at the mention of possible tears, but he couldn’t help but hear Dean’s tense ”And if everything doesn’t go alright?”
”Then we will deal with it,” Midwife Moseley said calmly.
She took one look at Dean’s face and sighed.
”Birth is a natural thing. Our bodies know what they are supposed to do, and they will try to act it out the best way they can. But ’natural’ includes everything, including the times when something goes wrong. We are not gods,” she said softly. ”And we are never as close to death as we are in the moment of birth.”
For a moment, the room was completely silent. Gabriel barely dared to look at Cassie and Dean embracing each other while still sitting on their chairs. Their distress was blatantly obvious for even his beta senses, and he could only imagine what it must be for them – or for the midwife.
”I know what happened to Bobby,” Midwife Moseley said gently. ”There’s no reason to expect something like that would happen to you. First of all, they didn’t have a midwife; you do. Second, your pups have been in ideal positions for weeks now, and, even if the second one decided to flip sideways, there would be enough room to turn it.”
She held Castiel’s eyes for a long time, until he finally closed his eyes and relaxed against Dean, who let out a breath and kissed the top of Castiel’s head. The midwife nodded at Dean, who returned the sentiment with his eyes.
Gabriel had no idea what had happened to Bobby, but obviously it had been nothing good. He made a mental note to ask Sam about it later.
”Is there anything else we can do?” Gabriel asked, trying to make himself useful. ”Apart from keeping him company and rubbing his back, I mean.”
Midwife Moseley kept her eyes on Castiel. ”You can make sure he drinks enough, and if you can make him eat something light every once in a while, that would be good. The first stage of the labour is usually the longest, especially when it’s the first time. No matter that he is an omega, he still needs to dilate, and that takes time.”
Castiel blanched at little, his eyes wide and his grip on Dean’s hand tightening visibly. Gabriel felt sorry for him: the prospect of being in pain and delivering the pups after the long and exhausting pregnancy wasn’t that appealing. He was pretty sure that, if it was him, he couldn’t have done it.
”Cassie, it’s going to be okay,” he said, forcing his tone to be soothing and gentle through the choking feeling in his throat. ”We’ll be here. Sam’s going to be here and I’m going to be here, although I have no idea why in the Heavens’ name I’m putting myself through this.”
It earned a snort from the midwife, but Gabriel saw Castiel’s lips twitch a little, which was all he cared about.
”And Dean’s going to be by your side the whole time. Okay?”
Castiel swallowed and nodded. ”Okay,” he managed, his eyes still a little wild.
”Okay then,” Dean interrupted gruffly. ”Let’s get my litter in bed. Time to get some rest, love.”
Cassie raised his brow. ”Your litter?”
”Yes, my litter. And my omega.”
Dean practically lifted Castiel up, and Gabriel had no idea where the alpha got the strength to do so. Probably something to do with instincts and pheromones. He watched the pair make their blessedly short way to the bed, and by the way Dean started scenting and stroking Cassie, Gabriel decided it was time for the rest of the company to remove themselves from the vicinity of the amorous couple.
He raised his brow at Sam and jerked his head towards the door.
”What happened to Bobby?” He asked once they were safely out of the chambers.
”He lost his mate and unborn pup. Something to do with the pup being in the wrong position.” Sam shook his head. ”I don’t know the details, but for what I’m aware of, he nearly drank himself to death afterwards.”
”Heavens,” Gabriel breathed. ”No wonder they are so nervous.”
Sam nodded. ”Yeah. Luckily we have Missouri.”
Gabriel frowned. ”Am I the only one who doesn’t dare call her by her name?”
”Yep,” Sam grinned.
Gabriel huffed. ”Pathetic, really.”
”Yep,” Sam repeated.
Gabriel narrowed his eyes at him. ”You think you are awfully clever, don’t you?”
Sam’s grin widened. ”Yep.”
Gabriel cocked his head with a calculated look. ”Would you come to bed with me?”
Sam’s grin faltered slightly and he blushed, but still he answered.
”Yep.”
The closer the speculated time of the delivery drew, the more tense the castlefolk became. Dean refused to leave further than the castleyard, preferring to hover near his mate at all times. Castiel grew more and more irritable, his temper flaring at the slightest provocation. Gabriel honestly thought the alpha was blessed by the infamous ancestors to be able to stand his mate’s constant mood swings.
Castiel’s friend, Megan, gave birth to a small, black-haired girl, which was a relief to her, of course, but the source of a whole new level of stress for Cassie and everyone else around him. He grumbled about the fact that Megan had already given birth, although she had carried only one pup, when Castiel was still pregnant with two pups, and it wasn’t fair at all! Dean listened his mate with a gentle and understanding face that, for some reason, fueled Castiel’s complaining. In the safety of his own mind, Gabriel called the behavior bitching, but he was extremely careful not to ever voice his opinion.
The Laird was never alone. If Dean was somehow unable to be with him, it was either Sam or Gabriel, or usually both spending time with Castiel. On very rare occasions, Ellen or Bobby kept him company, but Ellen didn’t have much time to spare, although she tried to pop in every morning, and Bobby’s alpha status proved slightly problematic, considering Dean’s possessive behavior. Castiel grumbled and hissed that he didn’t need chaperoning, but since he was pretty much unable to move by himself due to swollen feet and constantly aching joints, he was, in fact, always in need of help.
When Gabriel wasn’t in Dean and Cassie’s chambers, he worked to finish the woodblocks. He had discovered that he enjoyed polishing them, making them ready for the pups. He used blueberries, onion peels, tea, turmeric, saffron, and beetroot to dye the blocks and, after several rounds, rubbed them with beeswax to fix the colors in place and give them a beautiful shine.
After he was done, he organized the blocks on the table and stepped back.
He had 47 beautifully carved blocks in gentle colors, presenting the most common and important shaman glyphs he had been able to find. He was eager to experiment and see if there were other glyph combinations than Boahtimuš. With 47 blocks he was quite confident he could find at least a couple.
His musings were interrupted when the door creaked and Sam peeked in.
”Are you bus– Gabe!” Sam walked in eyes wide in amazement. ”Did you make all these?”
Gabriel nodded, a sliver of nervousness sliding down his spine. He had been sure what he was doing, especially after Pamela’s praise, but Sam was the first person to see the blocks ready.
”There are 47 of them,” he said. ”They’ve all been named, with Pamela’s help, of course. I dyed them with food products and used beeswax to polish them, so they are perfectly safe for the pups.”
”47,” Sam breathed. ”Cas and Dean are going to love these, you have no idea.” He touched lightly the blocks, turned around one here and another there, and traced the carvings with his fingertips. ”They are beautiful,” he murmured.
Gabriel stood transfixed, looking at Sam’s fingers dancing on the blocks. He sensed something change, but he wasn't sure what. He kept on staring at Sam’s fingers, and had a sudden desire to feel them on his skin. He must have let out some kind of a sound, because Sam whirled around and looked at him with dark eyes. He stood still as Sam walked slowly towards him, paused, cradled his face in his big hands, and gave him a passionate kiss.
”I can’t wait to mate and bond with you,” Sam murmured against his lips. Gabriel felt dizzy, from the kiss or the declaration, he wasn't sure — but hell if it mattered even a bit. He surged forward to kiss Sam with abandon, and, for a while, everything faded around them.
When he parted from the kiss, they were both panting from the arousal and the lack of air.
”Bed?” Gabriel managed, and Sam nodded once, before he lifted Gabriel up. Gabriel wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist and thought that he probably shouldn’t have found the situation as hot as he did, but, honestly, he was beyond caring. Effortlessly, Sam carried him to bed and tossed him into the center. Gabriel nearly came into his pants.
They lost their clothes in a hurry, drowning in each other’s eyes, and then Sam fell on top if him. With someone else, it might have been intimidating or uncomfortable, but Gabriel reveled under Sam’s solid weight. He spread his legs, and Sam slotted himself perfectly, like he belonged.
Gabriel let his hands roam freely, lifted his legs to cage Sam, and Sam grunted a little, grinding against him in rolling motion. His cock was hard and heavy against Gabriel’s, the contact a delicious friction between them. They rocked together, too far gone to even consider anything more than this. It didn’t take long for Sam’s hips to jerk and stutter, and then he spilled in between their stomachs. It was enough for Gabriel, and he came with a soft gasp, clutching Sam tight.
A short while later, Sam huffed a laugh. ”Not exactly how I envisioned our first time to be,” he groaned, resting his forehead against Gabriel’s.
Gabriel raised his brow. ”I’m not complaining, you know.”
Sam pecked him a light kiss. ”Yeah, me neither. It’s just… I would’ve liked…”
”Hey,” Gabriel interrupted. ”We’ll get there. Now, what were you about to ask me before you were distracted?”
Sam blinked and frowned. ”Oh, right. Castiel-duty. Dean needs talk with Bobby, and since he doesn’t let Bobby into their chambers…”
”Ah. Okay. Well, let me clean up and, like, put some clothes on, and I’m all ready for you.”
Sam cocked his brow, and Gabriel poked him in the nose. ”Ready to accompany you, you horny man.”
”I’m all horny for you,” Sam growled and nipped Gabriel’s neck, and his cock made a pitiful attempt to get up. Gabriel shivered despite himself and kissed Sam soundly. The younger man was going to be the death of him.
When they finally made their way into Dean and Cassie’s chambers, Dean was pacing around impatiently, wearing a circle into the floor.
”Well, final— Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!”
”What?” Castiel asked, a little groggily from the bed.
”They chose this moment to finally grow some balls and have a tumble between sheets. Nice timing, guys!” Dean seethed, storming out.
”Not between the sheets, but on top of them,” Gabriel called after him and chuckled at the expletives he received as an answer. Then he turned towards the bed and faced two equally unimpressed stares.
”What?”
Naturally, it was past midnight when Castiel’s contractions finally started couple of days later.
Gabriel was sprawled on top of Sam, when the door banged open and Dean’s wolf loped in, trotted to the bed, and promptly smacked Gabriel in the head with his paw.
”Ow! What the hell?” He turned a murderous glare on the totem, but stopped, seeing the excitement and worry in his eyes.
”Oh, right. We’ll be right over,” he stammered. The wolf nodded, turned, and jogged off.
Gabriel rested his forehead against Sam’s chest, before he lifted his head to look him in the eyes.
”So, it’s started,” Sam said softly.
”Yeah.”
Gabriel pecked him a kiss and got up, a nervous flutter filling his stomach. It was finally happening, Castiel was about to give birth, and Gabriel was supposed to be there. His hands trembled a little when he pulled his trousers on and laced his boots. He was reaching out for his shirt, when Sam caught his hands in his own.
”It’s going to be fine, okay? He’s not going to be alone in there, and I’ll be with you the whole time.” Sam tilted his head a little to catch his eyes. ”Okay?”
Gabriel drew a shuddering breath. ”I don’t even understand why I’m so nervous,” he huffed. ”I mean, it’s not even me who’s having the contractions and about to squeeze two pumpkins out of my channel.” Which was perhaps, he realized, not the wisest of mental images to entertain at the moment.
Sam held his hands between his own and squeezed them gently. ”You are nervous, because this is what we’ve been waiting for a long, long time. And because Cas is your brother and you love him. And it’s going to be fine.”
Gabriel swallowed and nodded. ”Yeah.”
They made their way into Dean and Cassie’s chambers, notifying Ellen on their way. The deal was that Gabriel and Sam would be with Castiel and Dean for the whole time, and Ellen would make sure they had enough to eat and drink. Also, Ellen was in charge of the fresh linens, bandages, and everything else Gabriel didn’t want to think about.
In their chambers, Castiel was pacing back and forth, in a slow wobble, leaning heavily on Dean. They were silent, Cassie concentrating on walking, Dean a silent support on his side. When the contraction hit, Cassie stopped and rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder, while Dean turned to face him and rubbed his lower back with his other hand.
”I could use a little help here,” Dean said, a little testily.
Gabriel knew he should’ve reacted, but he couldn’t help but stand and stare. Sam gave him a sideways glance and strode across the room, rolling up his sleeves on the way.
”He needs more pressure on his lowed back when the contraction hits. I can’t reach it properly, and I’m going to need both of my hands to support him soon enough.”
Sam nodded with a concentrated frown and followed them, hovering close, and waiting for the next contraction. When it hit, Dean again moved in front of Cassie, supporting him while Cassie buried his face into Dean’s neck to breathe in his scent. Sam placed his hands on Castiel’s lower back, splaying his fingers wide, and dug in with his thumbs.
Castiel whined and Sam jerked his hands away, stammering apologies.
”No, no, do it again,” Castiel groaned. ”It helps.”
Sam blinked a nervous glance at Dean, who nodded with a tight smile.
”Go on,” the alpha encouraged. ”You’ll be surprised at how much force you can actually apply.”
”Okay,” Sam breathed and set to wait for the next contraction.
The second time, he was more confident, digging his thumbs in the small of Castiel’s back with abandon. The omega grunted, but his breathing didn’t sound as pained as it had during the previous contraction.
It went on like that for a while: Dean supported Castiel and Sam provided the counter-pressure during contractions. It didn’t take long for Sam’s hands to start shaking, and Gabriel belatedly wondered, how much force was needed to help Cassie.
When Gabriel was able to get out of his stupor, he noticed that his fox had joined Dean and Cassie’s totems, and the three were tightly curled together in a furry heap, Cassie’s ermine safely cradled in the middle.
Some while later, there was a light knock on the door, and Gabriel opened it to see Ellen. She had a large tray full of light food and drink, and she shoved it at Gabriel.
”I won’t come inside lest I upset them,” she said quietly, nodding her head towards the expectant pair. ”I’ll have someone come over in a couple of hours to bring some more food. They will knock on the door and leave the tray out here, so no worries about strangers coming in. Leave the empty dishes in the hallway when you’re done.”
Gabriel nodded. When Ellen turned to leave, he cleared his throat. ”Could you notify the midwife on your way out? You can tell her that Cassie is walking and talking and the counter-pressure on his back is helping with the contractions.”
They had struck a deal with the midwife: as the delivery drew near, her sleeping quarters had been moved nearer to the Lord and Laird’s chambers, and she was to be notified when Cassie and Dean called for Sam and Gabriel. As per Cassie and Dean’s wishes, midwife Moseley wouldn’t be present until she was called in or she scented too much distress. She had agreed on the non-negotiable condition that she would be updated about Castiel’s behavior along the way.
Ellen looked at him for a moment. Then she smiled a gentle one and nodded. ”Of course,” she said and closed the door behind her.
Gabriel turned from the door, and carried the tray on the low table. He busied himself with sorting the food, and pouring honeyed water and another of Pamela’s herbal concoctions into cups, ready to offer them to Castiel at the first moment possible.
Then he sat down and waited.
When the pale morning light was creeping in, Castiel’s feet gave out from exhaustion. He had been pacing almost the whole time, his stubbornness giving him strength when his body demanded to be on the move well beyond its limits. Dean, Sam, and Gabriel had switched places several times, alternating the roles of supporter, masseur, and caretaker between them to give each one an equal opportunity to get some food and rest. Needless to say that Dean kept his respite as short as possible, preferring to be near Castiel and supporting him in his arms as much as he could. So when Castiel nearly toppled over, it was Dean who caught him and guided him towards the bed.
”I can’t,” Castiel panted, shaking his head as he swayed on his feet. ”I can’t lie down, Dean. I need to move.”
Dean cupped his cheek on his hand and looked him in the eye. ”I’m not expecting you to lie down. Trust me, okay?”
Castiel looked at him, and Gabriel saw the light sheen of sweat on his skin, his face slightly flushed. ”Okay,” he breathed, and followed his alpha’s lead.
Dean helped Castiel kneel on a soft pillow, and gently guided him into leaning forward against the bed so his belly was resting between his thighs. Castiel sighed and closed his eyes, obviously relieved to be off his feet.
The contractions had grown longer and were shorter apart between each wave, and Gabriel guessed it wouldn’t be long until the midwife was called in. Castiel whined lowly through every contraction, swaying his hips slowly sideways and slumping forward when they passed. Dean held him through them all, applying pressure on his back during the contraction and gently stroking his sweaty brow in between, muttering encouragements into his ear.
It was perhaps the seventh contraction in this position, when Castiel gasped, ”Get Missouri,” and whined through yet another contraction.
Gabriel nodded and went to fetch the midwife. She was in her chamber, knitting, and didn’t even wait for Gabriel to open his mouth before she nodded and got up, gathering her knitting with her.
Gabriel and Sam turned discreetly around when the midwife examined how far along Castiel was. His brother’s pained gasps were enough to make Gabriel cringe, and he was glad when Sam gripped his hand tightly and gave him a small, strained smile.
”You are making good progress, Castiel,” Midwife Moseley smiled. ”But there’s still a little while to go.”
Castiel shook his head tiredly against the pillows. ”I can’t,” he sobbed. ”I’m so tired, Missouri. I can’t anymore. I –” And then another contraction hit. It was stronger this time, provoked by the examination, and Gabriel’s heart ached for his brother whimpering in pain.
”Yes, you can,” Midwife Moseley said firmly. ”I’m here, your alpha’s here, and Sam and Gabriel are here. Your pups are on their way, you can do this.”
She produced something that looked like a toothless comb from her bag, applied a generous amount of oil on Castiel’s back, and, when the next contraction hit, proceeded to scrape it off in long swipes with the scraper. Castiel wailed, which caused Dean to growl, but the midwife wasn’t particularly impressed.
”Shush now, alpha. This is what we talked about earlier, remember? Use this to apply more pressure during the contraction. Don’t be afraid to use force, and ignore the marks.”
For a moment, Dean stared Midwife Moseley with narrowed eyes, his respect for her warring with his need to protect his omega.
The midwife sighed. ”Trust me, it will help him. It will ease the tension from the cramping muscles and let Castiel redirect his thoughts from the contractions. Remember how much force you applied earlier on his lower back? This is the same, but just more effective.”
Dean blinked, but did as he was told, and soon Castiel’s lower back was flaming red and bruised. Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sight, but the midwife barely raised her brow and told that it was nothing compared to what it would look like the following day.
”Why is this taking so long? I thought that being an omega –”
”Would mean that he would just squat and plop the pups out?” Midwife Moseley’s lips turned into an amused smile, while her eyes stayed sharply on Castiel.
”Well… yes?” Gabriel ventured.
”Omegas might be meant to breed, but he still needs to dilate. The final stages are always the most painful, when the body is almost there but not yet ready to push.”
Castiel was on his knees, resting his upper body on Dean’s lap, and gripping his alpha’s hands with a bruising force, if Dean’s pained expression was anything to go by. Sam was sitting behind him, massaging his back with the scraper. The omega was shifting almost constantly, unable to stay still, letting out a long, low wail. The wail was something Gabriel had known to expect, since it was one of the things the midwife had taught Castiel weeks ago. Something to do with relaxation and helping the dilatation. But it was still eerie, his brother wailing with his eyes closed like that.
”How are you holding up?”
Gabriel looked at the midwife in amazement. ”Me? Why are you asking me? I’m not the one you should worry about.”
”I’m asking you because you are here. Castiel will give birth shortly and I need to know that you can keep your wits about you.”
”Oh,” Gabriel breathed. It was understandable, really. ”I’m good. It has been a little overwhelming, but not as much as I originally feared.”
The midwife nodded. ”Good. But just in case: if you start feeling unwell, you leave the room immediately. I have no use for a swooning uncle, you understand.”
Gabriel blinked. ”Yes ma’am.”
After Castiel was finally fully dilated, there was a lull in contractions, and the omega passed out immediately. The others used the opportunity to air the room, clear out the extra dishes, and make thing ready for the final stage of labour. Ellen popped in again to make sure everything was okay, and left with the information of the birth being near.
Midwife Moseley forced Dean out of the room and ordered him to have a short walk outside. Dean tried to protest, but the midwife pointed out that he needed to clear his head, and that the bond would inform him of when Castiel woke up. Gabriel ushered Sam out to accompany his brother, promising to take care of things in the delivery room in their absence.
Turned out that the decision had been a right one: after the brothers returned from their short walk, they were slightly more at ease, and Dean’s face held a healthier color. They even managed to eat a little, and then Castiel stirred.
”Oh Heavens… I need to… unngghhh,” Cassie panted, but he sounded different. Even Gabriel noticed that his demeanor had changed from the earlier contractions. He was more focused and less pained, and there was a strange sense of calmness around him.
Gabriel glanced at Sam, who was watching Castiel with slightly widened eyes.
”Yes, I think so too,” Midwife Moseley said crisply, and went to help him off from the bed. With Dean’s help, she walked Castiel to the birthing stool, losing his pants on the way. They arranged Castiel to sit properly, and then Dean sat behind his mate, cradling him in his arms and between his thighs. The midwife arranged her things around her and knelt down.
”Whenever you are ready, Castiel,” she said softly.
Once again, Gabriel was transfixed, but this time, it was from awe. Now, in the active state of labour, Castiel was centered and silent, concentrating on every push, and resting against Dean in between. The early afternoon sun peeked through the curtains to paint him with light, and Gabriel’s breath hitched at the pure holiness it created on his brother.
Boahtimuš, the birth of all.
He could well believe it.
For a while, there was nothing more than Castiel’s soft panting and the midwife’s quiet instructions. Gabriel wanted to look away – he really did, because watching the midwife having her hands on his brother’s nethers was deeply weird – but he couldn’t. He was watching his brother giving birth, and it was perhaps the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He felt honored to be included, to be allowed present, to be a part of this. He felt his eyes sting and was momentarily overwhelmed, and he had to blink rapidly to clear his vision.
Then, after a short, tense moment, he heard a furious cry of the first pup, and he didn’t hold back the tears anymore.
Midwife Moseley reached out to grab a soft cloth and wrapped the pup in it. Then she waited for something for a moment, then fussed with something, and –
”Gabriel?”
He started. ”What do you need?”
”Gabriel, come here to cut the cord.”
”What?” He croaked faintly, but shuffled closer. He was sure he had heard wrong up until the point when the midwife pulled him on his knees, gave him the scissors, and guided him to cut the cord and separate the pup from Castiel. The cord was gelatinous and thick, and, for a panicked moment, Gabriel thought he wouldn’t be able to cut it. And then he did: the pup was its own person.
Gabriel blinked furiously to clear his vision and looked at his brother. Castiel was leaning against Dean, his eyes heavy-lidded, a faint smile on his face. Behind him, Dean’s eyes were glassy and he had tear-streaks on his face, but he wore a bright smile on his own.
”Thank you,” Gabriel managed.
With practiced ease, Midwife Moseley wrapped the pup in a bundle and gave it to Gabriel. ”Don’t touch its skin,” she reminded, and then turned her attention back to Castiel and the yet unborn twin.
Carefully, cradling his precious burden, Gabriel rose to his feet and retreated slowly to his previous post. He was vaguely aware that Castiel was pushing again, the second pup making its way into the world, but he paid it no heed. He cradled his newborn nephew/niece (he had no clue of the pup’s sex, and, frankly, couldn’t have cared less), barely daring to breathe. He held the wrinkled, ugly prune of a frog in his arms, and realized that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his whole life.
There was a second cry, and the midwife called for Sam. From the corner of his eye, Gabriel saw Sam return beside him with an equally precious burden on his own, and he raised his head, sharing a stupefied, teary smile with the younger beta.
The fresh uncles stood side by side, mesmerized by the next generation, as the pups scrutinized them with their dark eyes. Behind them Castiel was going through the final stage of the labour, the hardest part now over.
Lost in the gaze of the pup, Gabriel didn’t care.
”What?” Cassie inquired with an amused quirk of his lips. The pups were naked, resting on Cassie’s bare chest, carefully covered with blankets.
Gabriel squirmed a little. ”It’s just… odd seeing you like this.”
”Like what? Feeding them?”
Gabriel shrugged, a little sheepish. Of course he knew that Cassie was going to breastfeed, but, again seeing your brother doing something was different than hearing him plan it.
Midwife Moseley had said it was imperative the betas not touch the pup’s bare skins in order to avoid false imprinting. Therefore, as soon as Castiel had delivered the afterbirth, Dean had carried him to the bed, and the midwife had placed the pups on his chest. Castiel was slightly propped with pillows, and Dean was helping him to drink some more of Pamela’s herbal tea, while the midwife checked his channel for possible tears, which, again, was not something Gabriel wanted to think about too closely.
Gabriel thought it was miraculous, how serene his brother looked in the late afternoon light. Cassie had been in labour since about midnight, but now, with his pups on his chest, he didn’t look like someone who had gone through a serious physical exercise. Yes, he had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was matted, but his eyes were bright and he wore a slightly wondering smile.
He looked beautiful.
The pups weren’t feeding yet, but they were getting there. Midwife Moseley had instructed them to leave the pups be, to give them time to crawl to the breast and to latch on themselves. She had said it was important to their adaptation and imprinting, that the ability was there if they just gave it enough time. There would be time to bathe, clothe, and cradle them later. Right now, they were exactly where they were meant to be.
Midwife Moseley stood up with a satisfied nod and informed them that everything looked good.
”You’ll bleed for some time, probably somewhere around one moon. As long as you are bleeding, no swimming or immersing in the bath. And, no knotting,” she said firmly, fixing a stern eye at Dean.
Castiel stared at her for a moment with his mouth open. ”Uh,” he then managed, ”I really don’t think that will be happening any time soon.”
The midwife shrugged. ”It wouldn’t be the first time,” she commented calmly.
”No,” Castiel stated flatly. Then he turned his head to Dean and practically growled ”No!”
”No, absolutely not,” Dean agreed quickly, a slightly wild look in his eyes.
”Good!” Midwife Moseley clasped her hands together. ”The pups can stay on your chest like that for a couple of hours. I’ll go freshen up and to have something to eat. If there’s a change in their breathing or Castiel starts to bleed, come and get me. Otherwise, stay here.” Without further ado, she marched out, leaving the door slightly ajar.
There was a rustle by the window, and Sam’s owl flew in. He perched on the headboard and stared at the pups. Out of instinct, Gabriel made way for the other three totems that hopped on the bed and curled near, Dean’s wolf and Castiel’s ermine almost touching the pups, and Gabriel’s fox a bit further away, not wanting to impose. Dean had removed his shirt and had lay down under the blankets beside Castiel, adding his scent to the cocoon of blankets. He gave Castiel a gentle kiss, rested his head on the omega’s shoulder, and softly stroked the hair of the pup nearest to him.
Gabriel nudged Sam’s hand and, quietly, they moved away from the bed, giving the small family their privacy.
When the first notes drifted through the open window, Gabriel frowned, unsure of what was happening. Slowly, the music swelled, gained strength and volume as more and more voices joined in, until it was like the whole castle was vibrating with the song.
Gabriel glanced at Sam, and when he saw him silently mouthing the words, he finally understood.
The clan was singing to the pups, welcoming them to the world.
Gabriel was utterly, completely besotted.
If someone had said to him a couple of summers ago that he would enthusiastically cradle a pup in his arms, singing endless lullabies and volunteering for the diaper-shift, he would’ve asked them to go and check their sanity. Because dealing with Abner and Castiel had been more than enough for him, and he had had absolutely no wish to repeat the experience.
Until Castiel’s pups were born.
From the moment Gabriel first set his eyes on the new heir of Grey Castle, he knew he was lost. The pup had wrapped him completely around his tiny thumb, and Gabriel found himself completely mesmerized. The firstborn was a boy and the second a girl. Gabriel might have cracked a joke about the symmetry of things, but he was too busy crooning over the pup with blueberry-colored eyes to jump the opportunity.
For obvious reasons, Gabriel wasn’t familiar with the traditions regarding childbirth, but Sam had explained him that, during the pregnancy, Cassie and Dean had searched for a special place in the woods to bury the placentas and plant a rowan over them. It had sounded weird and a bit gory at first, until Sam had explained that rowans were sacred to Northerners, and the placentas were an offering and a thank you to the land that nourished them. And, for that reason, the afterbirth had been wrapped in fresh linen cloths and put aside to wait until Dean was able to go and bury them.
Meanwhile, Gabriel had practically set up a camp in Cassie and Dean’s chambers. On some level he realized that he probably should reign in his enthusiasm a little, but he soon found out he couldn’t. The sight and smell of the pups overwhelmed him and made him hover near them to the point where Dean was growling at him. Castiel rolled his eyes at both of them, even though he, too, was slightly nervous around Gabriel and Sam. He apologized about it, explaining it with his parenting instincts going overboard. The betas took all the blame and promised to try and keep their distance. Or, at least give the new family some space. From next to the bed to on the couch.
And now, the pups were two weeks old. Cassie had pretty much kept to their chambers with the pups, giving himself time to recover and the pups time to adjust. They had kept their visitors to a minimum to avoid exposing the pups to too many scents so soon. Dean stayed with his little family as much as he could, but eventually he was forced to take care of his duties. At those times, either Sam or Gabriel was with Castiel. Mostly, it was Gabriel.
The first time Gabriel held the he-pup on his bare chest, he was again washed with the feeling of awe. He couldn’t really explain it to himself. He was quite sure, however, that if he considered it closely, he would come face-to-face with his basest thoughts about his Father, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet. Or if he would ever be. Right now, he was just glad he was allowed to be there, for Castiel and the pups. The three totems were, once again, in a tangled heap on the floor, Dean’s wolf as a protective curl around the two smaller totems. Gabriel spared them a fleeting glance, grateful that his fox was safe and comfortable in that pile of fur.
Gabriel leaned back in his chair, held the he-pup close with one hand and tugged the blanket carefully over and around them with the other. The pup snuggled his nose on his skin, scenting him in his sleep and reveling on the skin contact. Gabriel swallowed and gently stroked the curve of the pup’s bottom.
”He likes you,” Castiel commented from the bed, where he was propped on pillows, feeding the she-pup. She was slightly smaller than the he-pup, but already showed feistier character. Dean was jokingly calling her Joelle, as a tribute to the most temperamental of females in the castle. For what Gabriel understood, the alpha had received some stinky-eye from said female’s mother, and only half of Ellen’s glare had been a joke.
”I like him too,” Gabriel whispered, barely daring to breathe out of fear of waking the pup. ”When are you going to have the naming ceremony?”
”We are not sure,” Cassie shrugged. ”On the other hand it would be nice to have it on the Midwinter Feast, on the other hand I’d like to have it out of the way as soon as possible.
Watching his brother breastfeeding was extremely odd. No matter how well Gabriel knew that male omegas existed, got pregnant, and had pups, and, obviously, also breastfed, the reality staring him blatantly in the face was another matter altogether. Castiel didn’t have the round, big breasts of females, of course, since he didn’t have the fat tissue they were made of. His breasts were the small, swollen mammary glands that were barely noticeable, if it weren’t for the dark, protruding areolas and nipples. The first time Gabriel had seen Cassie place one of the pups to his breast to latch on, he had blushed and hastily averted his eyes. Cassie had radiated amusement, but, fortunately, had said nothing.
It took Gabriel several days to work up the courage to actually open his mouth and ask.
”How does it feel like?”
”What?”
Gabriel waved his hand in vague circles to the general direction of his brother’s chest. ”The breastfeeding?”
Castiel frowned and cocked his head, absently stroking the she-pup’s back. ”It’s… I cannot really explain it. It’s sort of an all-encompassing feeling of right, having the pup here. I can feel when the milk starts to flow, a tingling around my chest. Sometimes it’s like a short slashing pain, especially if they are ravenous and it’s been a while since they last fed. But it always dissipates soon enough.” He glanced sharply at Gabriel. ”But I can assure you that it’s not comparable to Sam sucking your nipples, just to make things clear.”
Gabriel blinked. ”It’s — that’s not — He doesn’t!” He sputtered, completely thrown off his game by Castiel’s unusual bluntness.
”Really?”
”I’m not having this conversation with you.”
”You started it, remember?”
”I wanted to ask how breastfeeding feels, not to be interrogated about mine and Sam’s sex life!”
”So you have one?”
Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Castiel’s innocent face.
”You are evil.”
Castiel smiled beatifically and caressed the pup’s silky hair as it fed.
Gabriel sighed and continued softly rubbing the he-pups back. The pup was sleeping soundly and there was really no worry of him waking up, but Gabriel needed the distraction. He was itchy under his skin, and even though he knew the pups didn’t understand a word they were talking about, he still felt slightly uncomfortable. But he also knew he needed someone to talk to, and going to Dean wasn’t really an option.
”We… haven’t really done anything. Not after that day when Dean lectured us.”
”Really?” Castiel was silent for a moment. ”Why?”
Gabriel frowned and drew a continuous circle on the pup’s back. ”I don’t know,” he finally said. ”We had that one fumbling, then the pups were born, and — It’s like there’s no time?”
”The last time I checked, I was the one who gave birth, not you.”
Gabriel winced and kept his eyes on the pup.
”What are you really afraid of, Gabe?”
”I’m not —”
”Gabriel.”
”You know, you’ll be an excellent mother. You already have the knack for the disapproving scowling voice,” he grinned, and enjoyed Cassie’s predictable eye roll.
Castiel fell silent as he shifted the pup to his other breast and placed the pillows to support himself. When he was done, he turned his eyes at Gabriel and gave him a flat stare.
”Spill.”
Gabriel chewed his lip for a moment, collecting his thoughts. ”What am I doing here, Cassie?”
He finally asked. His brother didn’t say anything, but looked at him calmly, waiting.
”I know I’ve helped Sam in the archives, but it’s not like I can keep on doing it. It’s a good way to spend time, but I’m not contributing the castle in any way by leafing through heaps of old tomes. It has no effect on the daily life in here. I’m not useful like that. And I want to be useful.” He averted his eyes, grateful for the pup on his chest.
”You have given me home, Cassie. I can’t just leech off you.”
Castiel gave a non-committal sound and reached for a glass from the table beside the bed. He drank it all in small, measured gulps, set the glass back on the table, and then turned to look at Gabriel with a frown.
”And what, exactly, has that to do with mating Sam?”
When Gabriel refrained from answering, Castiel sighed. ”You can’t honestly think it makes you a kept man, can you?”
When Gabriel still didn’t answer, the silence stretched.
”Whatever happened to the cocky, self-assured beta my brother used to be?”
”He found a home and fell in love,” Gabriel answered quietly.
The he-pup stirred against his chest and mewed like a kitten, and Gabriel was grateful to concentrate on something else than his troubled love-life for a change. He supported the pup as he stood carefully up and walked to his brother. The she-pup had finished feeding and was currently in a milk-drunken stupor, eyes closed and little pink tongue peeking from between the lips. Gabriel lowered the he-pup on Cassie’s chest and picked up the fed one. He intended to return to his chair, but Castiel stopped him by gently grabbing his arm.
”Come here,” Cassie said softly, nodding at the bed.
Gabriel climbed on the bed, a little awkwardly to be honest, and settled himself beside his brother. He arranged the she-pup to rest comfortably against his chest and tucked her carefully in with the blanket to make sure she stayed warm and secure. By the time he was ready, their totems had taken over the foot of the bed and Castiel had maneuvered the other pup to his breast, where it was eagerly feeding. Cassie winced at the pup’s enthusiasm, and Gabriel cringed a little, remembering what Cassie had told him about the breastfeeding only moments ago.
”Remember when I mentioned about the responsibilities of the Laird at some point?”
”Um. Vaguely?”
Castiel glanced at him from the corner of his eye. ”Which means you don’t. Well, anyway. I was on my way to fully embrace my responsibilities when… things happened, and…” He shrugged. ”I don’t think I’m able to function as a Laird for a while now. Even one pup would’ve been enough, let alone two. Dean is in charge of the whole vassal area, but I was supposed to take care of the castle’s internal affairs. Sam’s been doing it ’till now, but with the sudden population growth, he’s going to need all the help he can get.
”If you want to feel useful, you could share some of Sam’s burden. No matter what you say, you are good with numbers and you like figuring out creative solutions. Besides, you enjoy challenges. The castle has been managed pretty much the same way for the last twenty summers, and it could use some shaking up. In addition to that —” Cassie paused and shifted the fussing pup into a better position, ”— it might help you get rid of that stupid insecurity of yours.”
Gabriel opened his mouth to protest, but Castiel was on the roll.
”Oh shut up, Gabe. Didn’t you two declare your love for each other already? Do you really think that Sam would think any less of you if you didn’t come up with a way to be useful? Sam is just as stubborn as Dean is, and you should know by now that if those two want something, they usually get it. Besides, I want you here too, and, because Dean tends to want what I want nowadays, it’s three against one. You’re here and you’re staying, end of story.”
Gabriel stared at his brother and said nothing. He had learned that post-delivery hormones were just as potent as pregnancy hormones, and he wasn’t going to aggravate Cassie more than he already had. They sat in silence for a moment, Castiel calming down and Gabriel mulling over their discussion.
Then Castiel cleared his throat. ”So, have you worked out yet which one of you will mount the other?”
Gabriel gaped for a moment, completely thrown by the sudden change of topic.
”Whatever happened to my demure prude of a brother?” He finally managed.
”He grew up, got pregnant, and squeezed two pumpkins out of his channel in the presence of his mate, brother, and mate’s brother,” Castiel commented dryly. ”It does shake off the extra timidity, you know.”
”Right.”
”I figure you are going to mount him, aren’t you?”
”What makes you think that?”
”You’re older. And Sam is… ah…” Castiel colored slightly.
”Cassie, you sly fox!" Gabriel gasped. "Have you been ogling Sam?”
”He ran past me stark naked. I couldn’t exactly avoid seeing,” his brother mumbled and refused to explain further.
Gabriel huffed a laugh and then fell silent. ”Age has nothing to do with it,” Gabriel shrugged a short while later, careful not to jostle the sleeping pup. ”And I know well enough how big Sam is. Besides, it’s not like it has to be fixed, you know.”
Castiel raised a brow. ”I really don’t.”
Gabriel answered by waggling his brows, and Cassie shook his head and snorted. They settled into a comfortable silence, cradling the pups in their arms. However, even the soothing scent of a sleeping pup couldn’t calm Gabriel’s churning thoughts.
”So… I’ve been thinking,” Gabriel said slowly, leaning on the doorframe of Dean’s office.
The space was surprisingly open, with stacked bookshelves on one side, maps of the land covering the wall behind Dean’s enormous, wooden desk. The wide window looked at the castleyard and there was a couple of comfortable-looking chairs in front of the bookshelves. The room looked warm, inviting, and commanding at the same, and it had Cassie’s handprint all over.
By the desk, Dean stopped arranging his papers and looked up. ”Did it hurt?”
”Ha ha,” Gabriel snorted and rolled his eyes.
Dean kept looking at him with a raised brow and Gabriel looked away, suddenly slightly nervous. It was two days after his discussion with Cassie, and he had, actually, given his brother’s words some serious consideration. It didn’t mean he didn’t feel jittery, going to Cassie’s alpha to beg for a job.
Dean, a lot more observant than he usually let on, lowered his papers on his desk, stood up, and came around the desk to stand in front of Gabriel.
”Have you eaten yet?”
Gabriel shook his head. It was quite early, but he hadn’t been able to eat breakfast, his stomach in knots because of the upcoming conversation.
Dean cocked his head towards the door. ”Come on. Let’s go harass Ellen into giving us something to eat.”
They made their way to the kitchen, Dean commenting something of unimportance on the way. Gabriel listened with only a half an ear, thinking about how he should approach his topic. Distractedly, he thanked Ellen for the light lunch she had assembled for them and carried the tray to the table in the corner of the kitchen. Dean sat down after him and poured them both a cup of strong tea. Gabriel’s fox curled beside his leg, as a gesture of silent support. Dean’s wolf, unsurprisingly, was nowhere to be seen.
They ate in relatively comfortable silence, then Dean put his cup on the table and gave Gabriel a level look. ”You’ve got something on your mind, so, spill.”
Gabriel kept the cup in his hands to give them something to hold on to, but then thought again, and put the cup down. He drew breath, looked Dean in the eye and said, ”I’d like to work for you.”
Dean blinked, opened his mouth to say something, then blinked again. ”Well. That’s not what I expected.” He drowned his tea and poured another cup. ”Start from the beginning.”
Gabriel nodded took a moment to collect his thoughts and started talking. He told Dean pretty much his whole life story, from the time he had been his Father’s proud little helper to the moment he had realized his Father wasn’t a god to the time he had understood how alone he was to the realization he actually had a home, now. He explained his lack of formal education, his previous misdemeanors and the problems he had had with authority figures (a.k.a. the family alpha) earlier on.
” —And I just can’t do that anymore. You’ve already given me a home here, and my just laying around isn’t… proper.” He stopped and blinked. ”Whoa… I just said that, didn’t I? Anyway. I want to be useful. I want my life to mean something to someone, and I feel like I could make a difference here. So. I’d like to work for you.”
There. He had said it: he had poured his whole not-so-glorious life out in the open, and it had felt… good. Gabriel gulped down his now tepid tea and then glanced up at Dean. The alpha was looking back at him with calm, assessing eyes, his whole demeanor in a relaxed pose.
”Did you speak to Cas about this?”
”Uh. Yes. He suggested that I’d take over some of his Laird duties, because, well, you know. He’s somewhat occupied at the moment.”
Dean huffed a laugh. ”I thought I smelled him all over this. But I have to say he’s right. Again. He’s funny that way.” A dopey grin spread across Dean’s face and Gabriel ducked his head to hide his smile. Here be Dean, the Lord of Grey Castle, utterly whipped by his mate and endearingly proud of it.
”So,” Dean said after a moment, more gruffly. ”What do you know about running a castle?”
”Nothing,” Gabriel answered honestly. ”Back at home, everything was handled by the family alpha. First it was Father, then Michael. He didn’t believe in delegating, but hoarded all the responsibilities to himself and ordered us others around. Whatever little I did, I usually didn’t have a clue about what it had to do with the bigger picture. Eventually, I didn’t even care anymore, and then Michael stopped sending me out for errands. He preferred doing everything by himself or hired servants to help.”
”Hmm,” Dean hummed, reproach evident in his tone. ”Yeah, well, no. We don’t do things like that in here, as you probably have noticed already.” Gabriel nodded. ”So, basically it goes like this: I’m the head of the vassal state and responsible of the whole Grey Castle area. This is the smallest of vassal states and protected by ancient treaties our ancestors made. It doesn’t mean we think we are completely safe, you know, but the treaties do give us a sort of a security blanket, however threadbare it is.
”The Castle affairs are divided in two sections: internal affairs and external affairs. While I’m the big boss of everything,” Dean grinned, ”I have Sam to take care of the Castle business and Bobby to take care of things out there. The Castle guard answers to me while Bobby is the peacekeeper outside, and the head of the Rangers.”
”Rangers?”
”We don’t have a standing army, you see. We are too small to support it, and an official army would be too rigid to maintain. So, we have Rangers. They take care of the woods, track down poachers and shit. If there’s trouble, they are the first to head off. Bobby coordinates everything, but the actual captain is Victor. But don’t tell him I called him captain, he’d never let me forget about it. Victor is also a steward-in-training, and will replace Bobby when he decides to step down. Which is probably never,” Dean said dryly.
”Sam has been managing the castle affairs with Ellen, but he really should be relieved of some of that burden. Cas was in the process of learning, but…” Dean huffed a laugh. ”He really won’t be in any shape to take care of his duties in near future.” Dean was silent for a moment, thinking. ”So, what do you have in mind?”
Gabriel licked his lips. He had thought about this, and was pretty sure he had the right answer. Probably. Hopefully. ”I was thinking about the finances and inventory,” he said hesitantly and glanced at Dean. The alpha made a ’go on’ wave with his hand, and Gabriel continued, relieved that Dean didn’t shoot him down immediately.
”Sam has been busy in the library, and I really think that’s where he should be. I mean… he is intelligent, but I’m not that sure it’s what the daily life in the castle needs. He wants to concentrate on the bigger picture, to dig out the past to better understand the present. But this castle cannot live in the past, it has to be in the present and look into the future.” Gabriel winced a little at the overly poetic expression, but shrugged it off. ”Ellen is in charge of the staff and the kitchen, and I really have no wish to step on her toes. Despite the rumors, I don’t actually have a death wish, and she really doesn’t need me meddling her affairs. But you are missing someone to keep it all together. A… bursar.”
”And you think you’d be fit for the job.”
”No,” Gabriel said with conviction. ”I know I’d be fit for the job.”
Dean was silent for a moment, drumming his fingers on the table top. ”I have one question: why were you so afraid to ask this?”
”Because I’m a stranger who wants the access to the heart of your castle,” Gabriel answered without hesitation. Dean raised a brow and was about to snort his objection, but Gabriel shook his head. ”The treasurer is almost as important as the Lord. He has access to all the funds and could wreak a lot of havoc with comparatively minimal effort. That’s the reason Michael was almost paranoid about the finances.”
Dean narrowed his eyes. ”We don’t put a lot of weight on money here, Gabe.”
”I know,” Gabriel nodded. ”But even as a highly self-sufficient a castle as this one needs money to survive. I understand how much independence and common good means here, but it’s not the same for the other vassal states. I’d hate this place to face difficulties simply because you were too stubborn to take precautions.”
Dean leaned back in his chair and regarded Gabriel for a long, silent moment. Gabriel stayed still and resisted the urge to fidget.
Finally Dean nodded slowly. ”Do you have specific plans?” When Gabriel said he did, Dean nodded again. ”Tomorrow at noon, in my office. Be prepared to sell your ideas to us, and we’ll continue from there.”
”Us?”
”Me, Sam, Ellen, Rufus, Bobby, and Victor. If you can convince us, we’ll forward your suggestions to the Council.”
”Council?” Gabriel echoed, seemingly regressed to the level of repeating single words.
”I told you we Northerners are different, didn’t I? Your plans probably involve our people and affects the whole vassal area, right? I don’t have the right or permission to make those decisions; the decisions belong to the people.”
Gabriel blinked at the sheer magnitude of the idea of people having the power to decide themselves, and almost missed Dean’s goodbyes, as the alpha stood up and left the kitchen. Then he drew a deep breath, braced himself, and got up. He had work to do.
The next morning found Gabriel nervous and with sweaty palms. He had worked long and hard to put all his plans on paper, reviewing and re-reviewing everything until the letters danced in his eyes. He was quite sure he had everything the way he wanted them, but still he felt nervous. Intelligently, he knew Dean wouldn’t throw him out even if he didn’t approve of his plans, but he still couldn’t help feeling this was his ultimate test.
The plans neatly scrolled and arranged, Gabriel made his way to Dean’s office well before noon. He saw Dean was already there, silently conversing over a map with Bobby and a dark-skinned alpha he had never seen before. The window was open and a fierce-looking gyrfalcon totem perched on the window sill. Its eyes nailed Gabriel in his steps.
”Ah, Gabe, come in,” Dean invited. ”This is Victor, who’s second in charge of the Rangers after Bobby. Victor, this is Gabriel, Castiel’s brother and Sam’s future mate.”
The dark-skinned man straightened to his full height and gave Gabriel a level look. His eyes were just as intent as his falcon’s, and Gabriel was pretty sure that there wasn’t much that was missed by them.
”Gabriel,” Victor nodded, and Gabriel nodded back.
Bobby rolled the map away from the desk and Dean gestured Gabriel to take over the space. Gabriel moved slowly to stand by the desk and meticulously arranged his papers to his liking, to be ready for his presentation. Bobby and Dean continued their conversation, while Victor leaned against the wall, watching Gabriel. The beta felt the skin on his neck prickle, but he refused to fidget under the scrutiny. Through their connection, he felt his fox experiencing the same uncomfortable staring from the gyrfalcon. Once again, Gabriel wondered about the fierce protectiveness of the Northerners.
When he heard a whooshing sound, he looked up to see a buzzard landing beside the gyrfalcon. The two totems shuffled a bit to find their footing, and then Gabriel was rewarded with the extremely unpleasant feeling of being the object of their double glare. He wasn’t at all surprised about their totems, though: somehow it was very fitting that the Captain of the Castle Guard and the Captain of the Rangers both had birds of prey as totems.
Gabriel was slightly distracted and didn’t notice the others filing in until Sam put a hand on his shoulder. Gabriel glanced up and gave Sam a small, grateful smile.
”Relax,” Sam said softly, before he went to help Dean arrange chairs for them all to sit on.
Gabriel was about to start, when Castiel walked in. Gabriel snapped his mouth shut and blinked at his brother, who stood calmly by the door, one pup in a sling and another in his arms. Dean was about to say something, but Cassie beat him to it.
”Did you really think I would let him here without my support? Really, Dean?”
Dean closed his mouth and stood up, offering his chair to his mate and taking the he-pup from him. The omega sat down with an imperious air and arranged the she-pup to eat while she was in the sling. The alphas, except for Dean, averted their eyes discreetly.
Dean frowned.
”If you thought that I would stay hidden while feeding them, you thought wrong,” Cassie said flatly. ”I have no intention of hiding under a rock until next summer, thank you very much.”
Dean blinked, then cleared his throat. ”Okay,” he said meekly.
Gabriel wasn’t the only one to hide his grin.
The pup in Dean’s arms started to fuss a little, and Bobby leaned forward to croon in a soft, hushed voice. Everybody, including Dean, turned to look at the old alpha, who slowly raised his head and blinked.
”What?” He guffawed, going for a nonchalant air that fooled no-one.
Dean rolled his eyes and handed the pup over to Bobby, who absolutely did not make grabby hands that everybody politely ignored. The old alpha arranged the pup in his arms reverently, with gentle hands and careful moves, until he was satisfied. Then he scowled at Gabriel.
”Well, go on. We don’t have all day.”
Gabriel kept a straight face, nodded, and started his presentation.
It took a good while. Gabriel went through his plans in order and backed them up with calculations based on the facts he had. He made it very clear that he was in no way questioning the authority or competence of the people present, and that he had absolutely no wish whatsoever to bypass anyone. He pointed out that his wish was to take the bookkeeping from their hands, which would give them more time to concentrate on their jobs. When he was done with the first part of his presentation, he moved to the improvements he had in mind. That perked up his audience’s interest, and, from there on, Gabriel was hammered with questions that would’ve intimidated him, had he not been so thoroughly prepared.
Dean stayed mostly silent and observant, cataloguing both Gabriel’s reactions and answers.
When they were finally finished, Dean nodded. ”I believe this has given us all a lot to think about.” There were agreeing nods from everyone. ”I’m ready to call in the Council right away, but it’s not my decision. What say you?”
Gabriel blinked, suddenly exhausted. He barely heard the affirmatives or noticed the others filing out of the office. He started when Dean clapped his shoulder.
”Good work, Gabe,” Dean smiled, before he went to collect his pups from Bobby and Ellen.
Gabriel let out a breath and grinned at Cassie, who gave him a brief hug. ”I’m proud of you,” Cassie whispered into his ear, and then he left the office with Dean, Bobby, and Ellen, and left Gabriel alone with Sam.
”Thanks,” Gabriel said after a brief moment of silence.
Sam frowned. ”Um. Why are you thanking me? Shouldn’t this go the other way ’round?”
Gabriel shrugged. ”Thanks for taking me seriously. And grilling me with those questions.”
Sam looked at him for a good while, before he sighed and shook his head. ”Did you do this to… prove a point?”
Gabriel shrugged again, in an attempt to cover his blush. It didn’t work very well. Sam crowded him against the desk, took his face between his hands and regarded him with an exasperated fondness.
”You stupid man,” Sam huffed and kissed him. ”You don’t have to prove your worth to me, you have already done that,” he murmured against Gabriel’s lips. ”I already said yes, remember?”
”Well. Yeah,” Gabriel muttered and wrapped his hands around Sam.
They stayed there for a moment, then Sam cleared his throat. ”Not that I’m complaining. Your competence was…” Sam’s voice trailed away, but the implications were clear enough.
Gabriel raised his head slowly from Sam’s shoulder. ”Really?”
Sam shrugged, grinned, and pressed their hips together.
Well, then.
Gabriel didn’t remember when he had last been this nervous. It was silly, of course, but waiting for the Council to gather in the dining room of the Goose and the Bear Inn to listen to his presentation made his gut clench and his hands clammy. By all reason, he knew everything was alright: his plans were solid and the Lord of Grey Castle supported him. But this was the first time he had had to present his plans to the people whose lives would be affected by them.
It was terrifying, really.
He wasn’t sure who he was going to meet, exactly. Dean had told him that the Council consisted of prominent people of his country’s trades, the ”head honchos” of their respective areas. Gabriel figured there would be at least representatives of trade, innkeeping, and farming, and one of them would be Matron Mills, considering they were presently in her inn.
Almost immediately after Gabriel’s presentation at Grey Castle, Dean had sent a carrier pigeon to Innkeeper Mills and requested a suitable time for a Council meeting. They had decided to meet in seven days, which would be long enough to summon the Council, and give Gabriel decent amount of time to prepare before the three-day journey from Grey Castle to Maple Falls. As soon as Gabriel had learned this, he had almost had a full-on panic attack and had spent the rest of the day sitting on the edge of his bed, rocking himself back and forth. Sam had tried to console him, but had eventually yielded to Cassie, who had promptly smacked him in the back of his head and told him to get a grip.
Cassie was a good brother.
To be honest, Gabriel really didn’t understand why he was so wound up about the whole thing. He was used to being in the center of the attention — both the wanted and unwanted kind — and speaking to a crowd wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before.
But perhaps the difference was that this time it mattered.
Previously, his public appearances had been all about boasting and entertainment, but now, not as such. This time, everything he proposed had an influence and consequences. He had a responsibility and it scared him.
Was this what Dean felt, as the Lord? How did he manage it? How could he cope with the responsibility of hundreds of lives depending on him? Gabriel didn’t envy him at all. He took a last look around to check that everything was ready, resisting the urge to go through his papers once more.
Sam’s arms sneaked around him and he pecked a kiss on Gabriel’s neck, jolting him from his thoughts.
”What’s got you all tied in knots?”
”Uh. Nerves, I guess,” Gabriel sighed, already feeling more relaxed in Sam’s arms.
Sam hummed and rested his chin on Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabriel closed his eyes and leaned back against Sam, drawing strength and calmness from the contact. They had had very little time for each other during these past seven days, what with Gabriel busy editing his presentation and Sam preparing things for their absence. And the crowded carriage wasn’t really for making out anyway, not with Dean and Bobby sharing it with them. Rufus had opted for riding, claiming there were too many men in the carriage already anyway. Traveling with Dean and Bobby hadn’t stopped them from holding hands though, which had made Bobby mutter under his breath something about idjits. But Gabriel had already learned that, coming from Bobby, it was as good as a blessing.
The betas had had their moment of passion, though — right there in Dean’s office, after Gabriel’s first presentation. Sam’s reaction had been a very pleasant surprise, and they had barely had time to hastily shove their pants down and rut into their joined hands. It had been frantic, adolescent, and glorious, and they had giggled in the middle of their uneven breaths afterwards. Also, it had earned Sam an appalled ”Heavens above, Sam! You could’ve at least aired the room, bitch. Geez!” from Dean later, but Gabriel had seen the twitch on the alpha’s lips. Knowing how Cassie was unable to keep his nose out of other people’s business, Gabriel was sure his brother had discussed the sorry state of the two betas’ sex life with Dean.
”Hello, lovebirds,” a velvety, hoarse voice interrupted the embrace. Gabriel felt Sam twitch a little, but he didn’t let Gabriel go, for which he was grateful. The newcomer was a stout, short man with intelligent eyes and a sly, small smile. His posture was pointedly relaxed and easy, in a way that Gabriel recognized. Never play a player, he thought, and hid a smirk.
”Crowley,” Sam greeted politely enough. ”Welcome. Please, have a drink and take a seat.”
So, this was Crowley, Megan’s beta mate and the cunning businessman Dean and Sam had told him about. The one working behind the curtains, pulling strings, often playing stupid and innocent. Fiercely loyal to the land, if not to the current Lord. A force to be wary about, Gabriel reminded himself.
Crowley’s totem, a badger, trotted straight up to Gabriel’s fox, who was slightly apprehensive about the direct approach. From the corner of his eye, Gabriel saw Matron Mills’ rottweiler walking calmly closer and laying down a short distance away. He wasn’t fooled, though, Gabriel could very well see how the totem kept on eye on his fox and Crowley’s badger.
Gabriel was too preoccupied with the interaction of the totems to notice the next members of the Council entering. Sam nudged him to get his attention, and Gabriel was soon introduced to Benny and his bat. Benny was the farmers’ spokesman; a bear of an alpha, with an easy smile and a tight grip that actually hurt Gabriel’s hand. Behind him trailed a perky redhead with a magpie perched on her shoulder, her grin lighting up the dining hall of Matron Mills’ inn. Charlie was the guild-master of all the different crafters in the Grey Castle area, and, according to Dean, harbored a serious crush on Ellen’s daughter Jo.
Together Jody, Crowley, Benny, and Charlie made the Council. Gabriel thought it was fascinating.
The meeting took the whole day. Matron Mills made them have a proper break after a couple of hours, allowing them to take their minds off the plans for a while. Gabriel found out that he had been right about Crowley: the man was a slimy scumbag, but an exceptionally perceptive and intelligent one, and, although his questions and suggestions had hidden traps all around, he knew his business and asked a lot of relevant questions that made Gabriel thinking hard.
Rufus and Bobby gave their insights into the conversation, questioning both Gabriel and the Council, but Dean kept quiet, just like in his office. His eyes darted continuously from one speaker to another, cataloguing their reactions, comments, and objections. His posture was calm and Gabriel couldn’t read anything from it.
When there was a lull in the conversation, Crowley turned to Dean. ”So. What does our fearless leader think about all of this?”
Dean raised his brow. ”This meeting wouldn’t take place if I didn’t think it was worth some serious discussion.”
”Of course,” Crowley smirked and his eyes flickered at Gabriel. ”And it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s shagging your brother?”
Dean gave Crowley a smile that made him look like his wolf. ”Exactly as much as your mate being my mate’s friend had to do with the clearance of your latest business plan.”
Crowley inclined his head. ”Fair enough,” he said and raised his glass.
Gabriel watched the exchange with rapt attention. Back in the South, speaking to Michael like that would’ve ended very badly, with the disrespectful one made into a public example before the day was done. Here, Dean had let Crowley challenge him and answered in kind, and the result had been… mutual respect and recognition? Gabriel shook his head. He would probably never learn to understand Northerners.
It was already late evening, when they decided to retire for the night and let things brew until morning. Matron Mills had prepared supper for all and rooms for the Grey Castle residents, offering them a stay at her inn. Gabriel was surprised to learn that the three alphas were going to share one room, giving the other to him and Sam. It wasn’t the sharing that was the surprise exactly, but the fact that Dean didn’t want a room of his own. Later, Sam explained that Dean had never liked to sleep alone, and the information resulted Gabriel an immediate mental image of Dean, Castiel, and their pups piled in their big bed, their totems in a furry heap on the floor.
His fond grin was interrupted by a soft ”Excuse me, Mister?” Gabriel turned to look at a cute blonde omega (Donna, he remembered) standing beside their table.
The omega blushed when Gabriel asked if he had her name right. ”Um. Yes. Thank you. I — there’s a…” Her voice trailed away and her eyes darted nervously at Sam. Then she drew a steadying breath. ”Jody says there’s a bath ready for you both if you’d like, and we have a room prepared for you if you’d followmeplease.” The rest of the sentence came out as a rushed jumble and Gabriel blinked a couple of times to wrap his head around what the maid had actually said.
”Thank you, Donna. We’d love a bath.” Sam’s tone was gentle and soothing.
The maid visibly relaxed and let a small smile on her face.
They got up and followed Donna upstairs, leaving Dean talking with Rufus, Benny, and Bobby. They seemed to be engrossed in an intense conversation, but Dean’s eyes flickered to meet Gabriel’s and the alpha winked before returning his attention to the conversation. Gabriel was quite sure Dean would tease them mercilessly about the bathing, regardless that if Castiel was here, the alpha would’ve carried him to the bath a long time ago already.
After pointing them the way to their room, Donna led them into the bathroom, reminded them where to find towels and bathrobes, and pointed them the pitcher of honey water on the table. After asking if they needed anything else (they didn’t), she gave them a shy smile and left. The bathroom looked exactly the same as it had the first time Gabriel had been there, but the bathtub was bigger than the one he had bathed and contemplated his existence. But the size was a good thing, really, considering he was about to share the tub with Sam.
They stripped, unhurriedly and slightly self-consciously, even though they had shared a bed many a times already and had enjoyed each other’s naked bodies more than once. But still this, now, was somehow a lot more intimate. Gabriel realized his hands were shaking and tried to do his best to relax and even out his breathing. Clearly it didn’t work, as Sam stepped into his space and cradled Gabriel into his arms.
”You did great. They liked you,” Sam murmured into his ear as he undid his pants. ”There’s no need to be nervous, Gabe.”
Sam kissed his neck and Gabriel stifled a moan, went boneless against Sam’s chest, and let his head drop back to rest on Sam’s shoulder. Sam undressed him in careful, tender moves, and Gabriel let himself be manhandled the way Sam wanted, towards and into the bathtub. Sam guided him to rest in the circle of Sam’s arms and there, tucked safely against him and the pleasantly warm water surrounding them, he felt safe, cherished, and small. Gabriel sighed contentedly and didn’t give a damn he was way older than Sam.
After a long while, when the water was definitely cooler, Sam washed him from head to toe and Gabriel nearly purred when Sam massaged his scalp. Eventually, they managed to drag themselves out of the bathtub — wrinkled like prunes — drank the honey water, dressed in soft bathrobes, and made their way to the room reserved for them. There was a tray with food and drink waiting for them, and they ate in comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s presence.
When they went to bed, Sam reached out for him and kissed him deeply. Before he even completely realized what he did, Gabriel put his hand in between them, palm resting against Sam’s chest.
”Actually… I would like just to sleep. Just to be near you.” He bit his lip and hoped Sam wouldn’t question him. He had an idea of what was going on, but he wasn’t quite ready to say it out loud. Not yet.
Fortunately, Sam merely cocked his head and gave him a searching look before nodding and moving to spoon Gabriel. They settled on the soft mattress and wriggled a bit until they felt comfortable. Sam’s hand trailed in gentle strokes along Gabriel’s side and back, and soon he found himself drifting into sleep.
Gabriel woke up to the feeling of a hard cock pressing against the cleft of his ass. Instinctively, he ground back and was rewarded with an appreciative groan as Sam pressed closer. Gabriel shivered at the sensation and couldn’t suppress a moan when Sam’s cock nudged forward. It was hard and hot, and Gabriel couldn’t wait to get it inside him.
And with that though, he froze.
Sam was still partially asleep, but when Gabriel tensed, he woke up. He didn’t pull away, but took a deliberate, deep breath and tightened his arms around Gabriel.
”Is there something we need to talk about?” Sam’s voice was soft and calm, and he drew little circles on Gabriel’s chest with his fingers.
”I want to wait,” Gabriel blurted and winced. What was it about these brothers that got him to speak his mind, even when he wasn’t yet sure what his mind wanted? He was glad he was the little spoon and, therefore, Sam wasn’t able to see his face. He was only partially surprised the sheets didn’t shine red with the blush on his face.
”Okay,” Sam answered easily. Too easily, to Gabriel’s liking. He wiggled around, instantly missing the feeling of Sam’s cock against his ass, but when it pressed against his stomach, Gabriel decided the change of position was definitely worth it.
”It’s not that I don’t want you,” Gabriel explained, not daring to look Sam in the eye. ”It’s the exact opposite: I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. And I know I’ve been around a lot, and there’s really nothing to save anymore, but I’d like to wait until we’re properly bonded before you mount me. I want to make things right this time.” He realized he was babbling, his words jumbling together and tripping over each other, but it was important to let them out.
Sam didn’t say anything at first. Then, ”You want me to mount you?”
”Uh, yeah. Unless you have something against it.”
”No, no, not at all. It’s just… Gabe, I’m not exactly small.”
Gabriel raised his eyes to look at Sam levelly. ”I know,” he said pointedly.
Sam blinked once, twice, then his eyes turned dark and he bent to kiss Gabriel with an intensity that left the older man’s head spinning. When they parted for air, Gabriel burrowed himself as close to Sam as he could and nuzzled his face in Sam’s neck, breathing in his scent. Sam hummed contentedly and spread his hands on Gabriel’s back.
After a moment of mutual relaxation, Sam pecked a kiss on Gabriel’s head. ”You do realize that I don’t actually care about your past?” Sam’s voice rumbled and resonated through Gabriel, surrounding him from all sides. ”What you were before you came to the North is behind you. What matters is what you decide to be from now on. And you’ve already shown us — me — what you are, and you have already been accepted into our clan. You know that, don’t you?”
Gabriel shrugged, a bit awkwardly while still pretty much melting against Sam. ”I know it’s not rational. I just…”
”This is important to you.” It wasn’t a question.
”Yeah.”
”Okay. Kissing is alright, I guess?” Sam’s tone was hopeful, but he hurried to add, ”I have no problems to wait until you’re ready. It’s not like my sex drive is as high as Dean’s anyway.”
”Firstly: kissing is definitely okay, it’s just the actual mounting I want to wait with. Secondly: it has nothing to do with anyone’s sex drive. And thirdly: please never, never mention your brother’s sex drive in our bed ever again.”
Sam snorted and dove to kiss Gabriel’s grin away. It started heated, but soon mellowed into a sweet pecks and nuzzles, until they just rested their foreheads together.
”Just to let you know,” Sam murmured, ”I really like this.”
”Yeah. Me too,” Gabriel sighed.
Their moment was broken by a loud banging on the door and a ”Get up, you two! Don’t make me come in there. And I mean that. I really, really don’t want to come in there!” from Dean.
Gabriel flopped his head forward and groaned, while Sam yelled the usual ”Yeah, whatever jerk!” back at Dean. They shared an eyeroll at the last bang on the door and then got themselves out of bed. They dressed slowly, giving each other small smiles every now and then, and Gabriel felt happier than in a long, long time.
When they finally got to the inn’s dining room, everyone else had already had their breakfast. Bobby and Rufus were sitting at a table, grunting along a conversation while finishing their strong teas. Dean was nowhere to be seen, but Gabriel had a good guess where the alpha might be: last night, Gabriel had heard Dean and Charlie talking about brooches, and Dean was most likely on a mission to find the perfect gift for his mate. Whipped and ridiculously happy, that alpha, Gabriel smirked.
”What’s funny?”
Gabriel glanced up at Sam smiling at him from the other side of the table. ”Dean,” he answered.
”Yeah. But also sweet.”
”True,” Gabriel agreed.
Donna approached them with a tray of food, and Gabriel thanked the maid with a warm smile. When he turned his attention back to Sam, the younger beta was looking at him with a small frown.
”You called her by her name last night,” Sam mused.
Gabriel blinked, took a sip from his tea and set the mug carefully down. He clasped his hands together and took a deliberate breath before raising his eyes to meet Sam’s patient gaze.
”Yes,” he said, ”because I’ve met her before. When I first arrived in the North.”
Sam nodded. ”Okay.”
Gabriel had told Dean his whole history when he had begged Dean to give him a job. Sam knew almost everything, but Gabriel had yet to reveal his arrival to Grey Castle territory. He knew he was being silly, but, holding on to the last crumbles of his dignity, he had withheld the information of the sorry state he had been: starved and practically a beggar. It wasn’t anything he was proud of. But now, sitting there, basking in the focus of Sam’s serious stare, he knew he really didn’t have anything to hide anymore.
So, Gabriel started to talk.
He told Sam about his self-doubt and desperation, about him realizing he didn’t like the person he had grown into. He told Sam how bone-deep tired and scared he had been, and when he had arrived at Maple Falls, how he had nearly wept out of gratitude when Matron Mills had sat him down and made him eat and bathe, granting him the chance to face the people of Grey Castle with dignity. And he told Sam how afraid he had been that Cassie would reject him.
Sam listened to him with rapt attention, giving him time to go through his story on his own time. He didn’t interrupt or scoff, but whenever Gabriel glanced into his eyes, they burned with a deep emotion that made something warm bloom inside his chest. When he finally reached the end of his story, Sam reached over the table and kissed him lightly. Then he stood up and purposefully strode to the Innkeeper and swept her into a tight hug. Matron Mills gave a squeak, but composed herself almost immediately, hugging Sam back. When they parted, Gabriel saw Sam saying something to her, before pecking a kiss on her cheek and walking back to their table and sitting down.
Gabriel’s eyes darted between a calm Sam and the slightly teary-eyed Innkeeper and he blinked. ”What––?”
”I thanked her for looking after you,” Sam said softly.
The arrival of Dean with the Council members saved Gabriel from trying to come up with an answer, so he just ducked his head and tried to hide his blush. Sam’s small smile told him he didn’t quite succeed, though.
They went through Gabriel’s plans once more, and, after some minor changes, the Council accepted them. Crowley grumbled and complained, but conceded after a stern look from Matron Mills. The requested chances were carefully added to the copies Gabriel had prepared earlier, before Dean gave each Council member their own copies for safekeeping.
”We’re going to need a liaison here, though,” Benny said after he had read through his own copy of the plans.
”A liaison?” Crowley asked mildly, but his eyes were flinty.
Benny shrugged. ”Yeah. If Gabriel is to coordinate everything, it’d be a too big a thing for him to keep up with us all. It would be easier for him –– and us –– to have a single person in Maple Falls to deal with.”
”And who would that person be? You?” Crowley’s lip curled slightly, and his badger pointedly turned his rear at Benny.
Benny snorted an undignified laugh. ”No way. I have no interest in middle management. And it shouldn’t be any of us.”
A bickering started between Benny and Crowley, and if the looks on the other member’s faces were anything to go by, it was an old issue. Matron Mills gave an exasperated sigh and went to get some more strong tea, while Charlie merely rolled her eyes and shared a poignant look with Dean.
”I think I have the person for you,” Bobby offered when it became obvious the men wouldn’t shut up. ”Garth.”
There was a disbelieving silence, and then everyone burst in animated talking all at once. Gabriel looked around in baffled interest, before turning to look at Bobby, who was sporting a smug grin.
”Garth?” Dean finally asked, when the clamor had died down a bit.
”Garth,” Bobby confirmed. ”The boy is sort of a featherhead, but he’s completely unflappable, lacks all sense of self-preservation, and is disgustingly cheery all the time. Makes him a perfect liaison for you idjits.”
Dean stared at Bobby, long and hard, and then deflated. ”Fine. Garth it is.”
Garth, as it turned out, was a small mouse of an alpha with a great dane as a totem. Gabriel stared open mouthed at the strange man, whom Bobby had retrieved right after the short conversation with Dean.
If Gabriel hadn’t been able to scent the man, he would’ve sworn Garth was a beta. There was absolutely nothing in his posture that hinted at him being an alpha, and Gabriel found himself oddly enthralled by the newcomer. If nothing else, he was highly entertaining when interacting with Crowley, and even Benny looked slightly pained when talking with him. Matron Mills was as long-suffering as an Innkeeper could be, and Gabriel was pretty sure nothing could actually shake Charlie.
When Garth launched a bubbling explanation of what he had been into lately, Gabriel felt a grin spread on his face as he watched the exasperated eye rolls from the others. This was going to be so much fun!
They returned to Grey Castle as soon as Gabriel had talked things through with Garth.
They would have to work with their instincts and what scraps of information they had until the next harvest. After that, they could then evaluate what could be done to further improve the clan’s stability. In the meantime, they had decided to concentrate on cataloguing and gathering as much information as they could. To Gabriel’s pleasant surprise, he had realized that under Garth’s goofy and seemingly harmless exterior lay a shrewd intelligence and an open mind. The young alpha was a lot more than easy smiles and silly catchphrases, and Gabriel had a hunch they would work well together.
After they had honed everything in order and had eaten a light lunch, they set back towards Grey Castle. Rufus stayed behind to take care of some business, and, after a short debate, Bobby stayed with him. They would return later. The carriage was a lot more roomy now than on their way to Maple Falls, with Dean laying on one bench and Sam and Gabriel on the other.
They went through the meeting once more, contemplating the reactions of the Council members and what they would mean in the long run, but after that, Dean soon drifted off. It left Sam and Gabriel awake and enjoying each other’s company. They sat side by side, holding hands, until Sam sighed and tucked Gabriel under his arm.
”You’re going to do great, you know,” Sam said after a moment.
”Well, I really hope so.”
”Time will tell what your cooperation with Garth will be. He’s an… interesting character.”
Gabriel huffed a laugh. ”Interesting might be an understatement. How in the Heavens is he an alpha?”
Sam shrugged. ”I have no idea. He’s a son of one of Bobby’s old friends. I’ve met him only a handful of times before this. Dean can’t stand him, but, fortunately, he grates on Crowley’s nerves even more.”
Gabriel pursed his lips. ”Oh. And everything that grates Crowley is a good thing?”
”Helps to keep him on his toes.”
Gabriel leaned into Sam’s side and enjoyed the warmth and the steady beating of Sam’s heart. ”Did you see how he looked at Donna?” He asked then.
”Who? Crowley?”
”No, idiot. Garth.”
Sam turned to give him an incredulous look. ”Garth? Looked at Donna?”
”Yep,” Gabriel grinned wolfishly. ”He looked at her like she hung the moon. And his totem nearly tripped over himself at trying to follow her around.”
”Garth?” Sam repeated.
”Love is in the air,” Gabriel hummed and winked at Sam’s shocked expression.
”Oh Heavens! Please stop speculating about Garth’s love life, it’s creepy.” Dean’s eyes were closed, but his face looked like he had tasted something sour. ”And please remember that I’m right here with you before you start sucking each other’s faces, okay?”
Sam snorted and threw a soft blanket at his brother’s face.
Gabriel closed his eyes and smiled. Everything felt like home.
The winter slowly creeped in. Never having experienced it, Gabriel was amazed by how nature drifted off to hibernation all around him, first by flaming up in bright colors, then slowly losing its leaves to the cold grip of winter. Everything slowed down and curled into itself, protecting the remains of life from Kaamos and preserving them for the spring.
In the mornings, Gabriel watched, fascinated, when his breath steamed in the air. Out in the castleyard, there were alredy thin sheets of ice covering the small ponds and the shrivelled blades of grass looked like they had been dipped into powdered sugar. It was beautiful.
The further Kaamos advanced, the more careful the castlefolk seemed to become around Cassie. Gabriel couldn’t help but to notice that his brother was never alone: he was always accompanied by several of the Northerners, either trailing discreetly behind him or more openly keeping up with him, while the ever-present totems hovered nearby. Wherever he went, the Laird was greeted with warm smiles, well-wishes, and questions if he needed any help with the pups. Even Dean was more attentive, handling his mate with the utmost tenderness, like the omega was something fragile and precious, easily shattered.
To Gabriel’s surprise, Cassie didn’t protest the treatment. It took him a while to understand why, and then he felt cold all over.
During the last Kaamos, Cassie had had been pregnant with his first pup — the one he had lost. Then Cassie himself had succumbed under the darkness, and had nearly been lost as well. No wonder the whole castle seemed to be on the edge.
For a long time, Gabriel pondered on what to do. Dealing with his brother’s state of mind wasn’t exactly his business, and he was always very careful not to step on Dean’s toes in any way. Although the Lord of Grey Castle had already established himself to be a modern and open-minded alpha, he still was an alpha, and might not be that easygoing while dealing with his mate’s depression.
But Cassie was also Gabriel’s brother and the only real family Gabriel had left. He had to make sure his brother was alright.
It was a late afternoon, but the twilight had already settled, and the room was lit by several lanterns and chandeliers. Gabriel stood by the window and looked at his brother with a critical eye. In the soft candlelight, Cassie seemed to be fine if perhaps a little strained, but that was only understandable when dealing with two young pups. But there was an undercurrent of sorrow and also something more, and Gabriel felt his worry to spike.
That’s why he braced himself and, one day, bluntly asked, ”How hard is this darkness on you anyway?”
Cassie was laying on the sofa in his chambers, snuggling the pups close. His ermine was on his usual place, safely encircled by the massive limbs of Dean’s wolf.
”It’s…” Castiel wiped his hand over his face. ”It’s hard. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this darkness, but I hope it’ll get easier with time. At least this time, I have my pups with me.” His hands made an odd, aborted jerk, like they wanted to curl around the pups and hold them even closer. But Cassie restrained himself, not wanting to wake the sleeping infants.
Gabriel looked at his brother, took in his tense form and strained voice, and sat on the sofa, maneuvering Cassie to rest his head on his lap. His fox jumped in to join them and lay beside Cassie’s feet, leaning his back very carefully against Cassie’s calf. Lately, Gabriel had noticed his totem slowly coming to terms with touching other humans too, and Cassie and Sam had been the first he had made the tentative contact with.
Gabriel carded his fingers gently through Cassie’s hair. ”You don’t have to go through this alone, remember? You have Dean and your pups, and I’m here. And Sam’s here. The whole clan is here for you,” he reminded softly. ”You’re not alone.”
Castiel swallowed. ”I know,” he whispered hoarsely. ”Thank you, Gabe.”
Gabriel bent down to kiss his brother lightly on the forehead and then continued petting his hair. He kept his touch light, and, soon, his brother’s eyes drifted close. It didn’t take long for Cassie’s breathing to deepen and then he was asleep. Gabriel threaded his fingers through Cassie’s hair and watched the lines of sadness smoothen out a little. Sitting there, he felt a fierce surge of love for this stubborn brother of his: Cassie had managed to shoulder through the hardships the Heavens had decided to bestow upon him. He had been broken and mended, and the cracks had made him even more beautiful, and stronger than ever.
Eadni. Boahtimuš. The ancient language drifted into his mind and he closed his eyes for a moment to savor the real meaning behind the words.
Gabriel wondered if Cassie would ever really understand his own importance, the profound bond between himself and the clan? Would he accept his position as the anchor and center of the Northerners? As their home?
There was a soft noise from behind him, and Gabriel turned carefully, lest to jostle and wake his sleeping brother. Dean stood by the door, his brow raised and a small smile playing on his lips. Gabriel beckoned him closer with a nod and put a finger on his lips to ask the alpha to stay quiet.
Dean walked slowly forward and looked at his sleeping mate and pups over Gabriel’s shoulder. ”It’s Kaamos,” Dean said softly. ”It makes him… sad.”
Gabriel nodded. ”I know. He told me.”
Dean blinked. ”Did he now?”
”Well, after I asked,” Gabriel admitted.
”But he told you. That’s good.”
Dean stood still for a moment, then he lifted the sleeping pups, one by one, and moved them to his and Cassie’s bed. Then, kneeling down, he took Cassie into his arms, and carried his omega into the bed. His moves were so gentle and careful, his whole body curved so protectively around his sleeping mate that it nearly broke Gabriel’s heart. The love and devotion Dean felt for Castiel were evident in everything he did: the way he moved, the way he spoke, the way he looked, and touched his mate.
The wolf and the ermine made their way into the bed after their humans, and curled in a heap on the foot of the bed. Dean didn’t look at Gabriel when he lay down beside his family, but Gabriel knew when he was being dismissed. Quietly, he let himself and his fox out of the room, leaving the family to their rest.
That night, snuggled close to Sam, Gabriel was thoughtful. Turning his whole life around had been hard enough for Gabriel, and he had made the decision himself. True, he had been metaphorically pushed against a wall, but he had made the decision to leave his family home. For Castiel, it had been different. It didn’t matter that Cassie’s temper was well suited for the North and that he and Dean completed each other in every possible way. Fact was, he had been practically sold to a foreign clan; thrown into a new life and new expectations without even bothering to ask his opinion. On top of that, the South had nothing like Kaamos. Added to the combined hormonal strain of heat, pregnancy, and miscarriage, it was a surprise that Cassie had been even remotely functional.
Gabriel shivered. He really, really didn’t want to follow that thought pattern any further.
Once again, he was grateful to whatever forces that defined their fates that he was a beta. Gabriel was quite sure that, unlike Cassie, he wouldn’t have made it through. He just wasn’t strong enough. After learning and seeing what Cassie had been through, Gabriel couldn’t fathom how anyone could think omegas were weak — that Cassie was weak. Gabriel spared a moment to his alpha brother and sent him a mental eyeroll. Despite all his pompous, big words, if he had been put in Cassie’s position, Michael wouldn’t have made it even halfway through.
”If you keep thinking that hard, your head will eventually explode,” Sam said, amused, as he nuzzled Gabriel’s neck.
”Will you mate me during Midwinter Feast?” Gabriel blurted, out of the blue. But as soon as the words had left his mouth, he knew he would never want them back.
Sam stopped and leaned over him with a slight frown. ”Why then?”
”It feels… right. I can’t explain it.” He turned to face Sam. ”You told me that Midwinter Feast is the end of the old and the beginning of the new, and… It seems proper. I want to cut all my ties to my old clan. I know I’m accepted as a part of this place now, but I want to make it official.” He drew a breath. ”I want to make a formal announcement to Michael that I no longer consider myself as a member of his household. I want nothing to do with him or my former clan. I will cease all official claim to any clan affairs and I want my name erased from the records.”
He had had this half-formed idea in his head for some time now, and it had felt huge, life-changing. But now, in the open, it felt liberating instead.
Sam regarded him with serious, old eyes. ”Are you sure? If you do this —”
”I will be as good as dead and in need of an official ceremony to be added as a member of your clan,” Gabriel interrupted. ”I know. And I’m sure.” He snuggled closer to Sam, who held him tightly, like he always did.
”I came to the North as a beggar, with no name, no fortune and no family.” Gabriel’s voice was quiet, muffled against Sam’s skin. ”Your people took me in, reminded me what it meant to be human. You showed me that there’s still goodness in the world. You have given me a home and a family. A heart. I belong here, with you.” He huffed a laugh. ”I know it’s cheesy beyond belief, but the idea of dying and being born again as a Northerner is how I want to start the rest of my life.”
He paused for a moment. ”And if you ever repeat that sentence to me, I’ll ban you from our bed.”
Sam took his time, just looking at him. Then he nodded. ”I think we need to talk to Dean.”
After getting know him properly, it was way too easy to dismiss Dean as a good-natured, jovial, and somewhat goofy alpha who was completely whipped by his mate and pups, and to forget who he really was. And even though Gabriel had already faced the full force of the intense stare of the Lord of the Grey Castle, it didn’t make the moment any easier to bear.
”So… let me get this straight: you want to inform your familial alpha that you are effectively defecting from your old clan in favor of ours?” Dean’s words were slow and measured.
”Uh. Yes?” Gabriel gave an internal wince at the way it came out as a question.
”And by doing so you realize you wouldn’t have an alpha brother anymore, not to mention a place in your family tree?”
Gabriel shrugged. ”I don’t think I’ve had an alpha brother for a long, long time. To Michael, being the family alpha and leading the clan were always more important than being a brother. He never really saw the point of it.”
Dean and Sam shared a look. ”His loss,” Dean muttered.
”Besides, the place in the family tree of the Novak clan has never been anything I’ve been proud of,” Gabriel continued dryly. ”You have taught me much more about family, duty, loyalty, and honor than Michael ever has.”
Dean cocked his head and just stared at Gabriel. His face was blank mask, devoid of all emotion, and impossible to read. Gabriel kept himself still and his face open and unguarded. He knew that Dean-the-mate-of-his-brother liked him, but this? Gabriel was old enough to understand that what he was asking for forced the Lord of the Grey Castle to consider the matter from various angles, and not all of them would be favorable to Gabriel.
”How do you think Michael will react?”
Gabriel took a deep breath. ”Michael might feel a bit betrayed, because he just can’t stand anyone making decisions by themselves, without his permission,” he said slowly. ”But me leaving the clan?” He shook his head. ”I have no real political significance, aside from my use as a marriageable body for contracts. I have no power, no special abilities, and I cannot bear pups. I don't even have political insight, per se, since I stayed out of it, both for my own reasons and because Michael didn’t share power.”
Dean cocked his head. ”And you mating Sam?”
Gabriel smirked. ”Actually, it might work on our benefit. Michael is a traditionalist to the core and believes that a bond between two beta males is an abomination. He pretty much banished Abner after his bonding was revealed, and… well. My dear brother might just leave me all alone out of fear that my shame is contagious.”
The alpha was silent for a moment. Then he said, flatly, ”Your brother’s a dick.”
And, just like that, the Lord was gone and Gabriel was facing Dean again.
”Not arguing with you there,” Gabriel said wryly.
”So, how do you want to do this?”
”As formally as possible,” Gabriel said. ”If we do this by the book, there’s less chance that Michael will react.” Gabriel paused and frowned. ”I don’t think he’ll do anything as such, but it never hurts to be thorough, does it?”
Dean nodded. ”I’ll contact the Magistrate and ask him to draft a preliminary contract. You can read it through, talk with Cas about it, and we’ll make the necessary changes before sending it to Michael.”
Gabriel blinked. ”Why would I talk with Cassie about it?”
”Uh… because Michael is the familial alpha of you both? Besides, Cas might see and understand things we wouldn’t even consider.”
”But —”
”And, most importantly, Cas is the Laird,” Dean reminded gently. ”He is just as committed to the castlefolk as I am. Your wellbeing is his responsibility too, no matter how preoccupied he is with the pups right now. That’s why he needs to read the draft through.”
Okay, Dean had a point there.
”Also, he’s your brother,” Sam said quietly. ”No matter how ready you feel to cut yourself off of your old clan and joining ours, it’s a big change. You are talking about ripping away your past, Gabe. That’s not something you should take lightly.”
”I’m not. Taking this lightly, you know,” Gabriel countered seriously. ”The longer I’ve been here, the more I understand what was — is — wrong back in the South. You are doing things right here. I want to be a part of that. I want to do right.”
Sam nodded and gently touched Gabriel’s cheek. ”I know. I just wanted to make sure you know what you’re about to do.”
Gabriel gave Sam a small smile. ”I do,” he said softly. It took his brain a moment to catch up with the double entendre. He flushed slightly, but refused to look away from Sam’s bright eyes, leaning to Sam’s palm cupping his cheek.
A short moment later, Dean cleared his throat. ”Get out of my office. You’re disgusting. And in love. Ugh.” He paused for a second and narrowed his eyes. ”Does that mean that me and Cas are equally disgusting?”
”Yes!”
Dean snorted and shooed them out of the door, muttering something about smug asshats and toothache.
Once outside, Gabriel grinned and grabbed Sam’s hand. ”Lunch?”
”Sure.”
They made their way into the kitchen and coaxed Ellen to give them something to eat, ending up getting a tray laden with food and a big pot of strong tea. The Matron bossed them out of the kitchen with a fond eye roll and reminded them that, if they actually bothered to keep up with the regular meal times, they wouldn’t have to beg for food. But Ellen’s wink of goodbye said she knew the real reason, though: when they had the tray, they could retire to Sam’s chambers to eat in bed.
Preferably naked.
Dean sent the carrier pigeon to the Magistrate immediately after their discussion. The answer arrived the same night: the Magistrate had outlined the contract draft and sent it for them to read through. The Magistrate himself would depart the following morning to Grey Castle, and, after his arrival, they would finish the version they would sign up and send to Michael.
As soon as the contract draft arrived, Dean leafed through it, then handed it over to Gabriel and Sam. And now, the scroll was splayed flat on Dean’s desk and scrutinized word by word by Bobby and Rufus. Ellen had already taken a look at it, which meant that, as soon as Bobby and Rufus were done, Gabriel would take the scroll to Cassie.
Gabriel was vaguely aware that he probably should feel insulted or at least uncomfortable about the fact that the terms of him leaving his former clan were practically public knowledge. But he was a realist and understood this was more than just his personal matter. His decision had the potential to resonate throughout the whole clan, because there was the remote, if unlikely, possibility of Michael actually taking action. For the life of him, Gabriel couldn’t fathom what the action might be, but between Bobby and Rufus, the paranoid alpha duo, every possible and impossible scenario was soon covered.
Yeah, Gabriel should’ve felt slighted. He felt humbled instead. These people were taking all precautions they could imagine to ensure that he, a stranger, could join their clan without an issue. It was almost overwhelming. And if this was what they were willing to do for him, what they would be ready to do for Cassie?
Oh, right. Gabriel knew exactly what the clan was ready to do for Cassie.
When the contract was finally written, proofread, rewritten, signed, and sent along by carrier pigeon, Gabriel felt oddly empty. He stood on the castle wall and stared after the rapidly receding form of the pigeon. He couldn’t help thinking that his past was now sealed; a finished chapter ready to be archived. He looked up, to the twilight blue sky of Kaamos and felt small, standing out here, under the starry sky, surrounded by Northern twilight and the flickering light of the torches lining the wall.
”Not having second thoughts, are you?”
Castiel had somehow managed to sneak right beside him, wrapped in a warm blanket, his ermine curled around his neck. He was alone, the pups probably with Dean. Gabriel huffed a small laugh as Cassie nudged his arm to get under it. His brother was actually taller and broader than him, but sometimes Cassie managed to make himself seem pretty small — especially if he wanted to snuggle close. It was a trait he rarely displayed, but it seemed that the North and Kaamos had prompted Castiel’s snuggling side forward.
”No,” Gabriel shook his head. ”No second thoughts. This feels right.” He hugged Cassie close and rested his temple on his brother’s shoulder. ”But I feel odd.”
”Good odd or bad odd?”
”Honestly? I don’t know.” He shrugged. ”But I’ll be better. Eventually.”
Cassie raised his head a little to give him a long, searching look. His eyes were bright and piercing, and Gabriel was eerily reminded of the penetrating gaze of the Lord of Grey Castle. But where Dean’s stare had nailed him on place, demanding honesty, Cassie’s eyes peeled him open and burned right through him, through every layer he had tried hiding behind, leaving him raw and vulnerable.
Then Cassie smiled, and it was like sunlight. ”I’m happy you’re here,” he said.
Gabriel wholeheartedly agreed, closed his eyes, and hugged Cassie close, blanket and all.
They were a good pair, Castiel and Dean. Ridiculously, endearingly, completely in love with each other, and, when necessary, a force to be reckoned. Gabriel didn’t envy anyone who would dare cross them.
Behind them, the door closed with a soft thump. Gabriel peeked a glance over his shoulder, although he already knew who he would see. The change of cuddler was smooth, and then Gabriel was in Sam’s embrace, while Dean had taken Cassie into his arms, murmuring something in Cassie’s ear. Gabriel didn’t hear the words, but he saw Cassie’s smile clearly enough. Gabriel could’ve mentioned something about disgusting and such, but he refrained. He was a man of tact, after all.
Later that night, in their bed, Sam held him in his arms and asked softly, ”How does it feel? To be dead?”
Gabriel snorted and turned to kiss Sam. ”Surprisingly lively,” he said and kissed Sam again.
Sam huffed into his mouth. ”Really? Define ’lively.’”
Gabriel pulled back a little with a mock-frown and pursed his lips. ”Well. I have these feelings. All around.”
Sam furrowed his brow and tilted his head a little, as much as he could against the pillow. ”All around?” He asked, and Gabriel nodded. ”Here?” Sam stroked his hand along Gabriel’s side. ”Here? How about here? Still feeling?”
Gabriel shivered and relaxed against the mattress, letting Sam have his way with him. His future mate (and how weird was that?) had this intense, burning look in his eyes as he teased his fingers lightly, languidly, along Gabriel’s skin, mapping his body from head to toe. Gabriel tried to stay silent and still, but he couldn’t suppress a little jerk of his hips or a moan, despite that he bit his lip to keep it in.
Sam chuckled a little, and bent to kiss him.
”I would really, really want…” Sam swallowed the rest of the sentence and rested his forehead against Gabriel’s chest.
”Yeah, I know. Sorry,” Gabriel winced.
”Don’t apologize. I respect your wish, but I can’t help… You have no idea…”
Gabriel swallowed. ”Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea.” Because he did: His cock was hard and throbbing, like it always was when Sam touched him like this. He longed for Sam, to have his weight pinning him down, to feel Sam’s breath in his neck, to have — Heavens — to have Sam’s cock splitting him in half, hot and hard inside him.
Yeah, Gabriel had a pretty good idea alright.
Then he remembered something and pushed Sam aside. The younger man obliged, a confused frown on his face.
”Just a second. I have an idea… if I can just find it…” Gabriel rummaged through his drawer.
Sam wasn’t exactly impressed about the jar when Gabriel presented it to him, but his suspicious squint soon turned hungry, when Gabriel wiggled his ass a little. So, he was a tease, so what? It was teasing only if you didn’t mean to deliver.
”I thought you wanted to wait,” Sam said hesitantly, but reached out to Gabriel anyway.
”Yeah, no. Or, yes. Never mind. Come here,” Gabriel huffed in exasperation and tugged Sam closer to kiss him.
”What’s that?” Sam asked and poked at the jar.
”It’s my special blend,” Gabriel answered. ”You’ll see — or feel, to be more specific.”
He smirked and poured some of the contents onto his hand, noticing he was running low. He made a mental note to make more before their bonding. It would be tragic if he run out completely.
Sam let out a surprised grunt when Gabriel reached out to stroke his cock with a slicked hand. It was half-hard, but grew rigid with just a couple of strokes, twitching slightly under Gabriel’s hand. It was truly a magnificent cock: thick and long, and Gabriel couldn’t wait to get it inside him. But it would have to wait until their bonding. Meanwhile, they could always improvise.
There was a beautiful flush on Sam’s cheeks and it was slowly spreading downwards along his throat and chest. They had pleasured each other before, but this was the first time Gabriel had broken out his oil blend, and the difference was obviously appealing. Gabriel moved his hand carefully and oh so slowly, enjoying the emotions he saw flickering across Sam’s face. The younger beta’s eyes had fluttered closed and his mouth had fallen slightly open. Gabriel kept his hand moving for a while, until he had Sam twitching and moaning a little, then he he lathered his inner thighs with a generous amount of oil, turned to his side, and pressed his ass gently against Sam’s groin.
He more felt than heard Sam’s ragged inhale, as his cock pressed slowly in between Gabriel’s thighs. Gabriel stopped and relaxed against Sam’s chest, keeping his legs tightly together. He let the younger man to get used to the sensations of slick heat, and waited patiently for Sam to start moving. And when he did — oh, it was glorious! Sam’s cock slid along the cleft of Gabriel’s ass, rubbing underneath his balls and nudging his cock on the way, and the feeling was enough to make Gabriel shiver.
At first, Sam moved slowly and hesitantly, this being new to him, but he soon forgot his shyness and started thrusting in earnest. He wrapped his arm around Gabriel to keep him in place and flung his leg over Gabriel’s hip to get more leverage. The weight of Sam’s leg was enough to let Gabriel stop pressing his thighs together and relax. He grabbed Sam’s hand to intertwine their fingers together and tipped his head back a little. As if prompted, Sam curled around him and pressed his nose in the crook of Gabriel’s neck, and there, completely wrapped inside Sam’s big frame, Gabriel felt safe and loved, at home. He reached his free hand to wrap around his own cock and merely held himself in hand, letting Sam’s thrusts rock himself into his fist.
When Sam’s thrusts turned erratic, Gabriel started stroking himself in earnest. A short while later, Sam came with a muffled cry, clutching Gabriel in his arms, his come warm on Gabriel’s thighs. Gabriel followed only a couple of strokes later, with trembling legs and gasping Sam’s name.
They rested, spooning side by side, until their breathing evened out and the stickiness of come, sweat, and oil turned from cute to slightly disgusting. Gabriel disentangled himself from under Sam’s limbs and went to get some wash cloths to clean them up. After getting them relatively decent, he discarded the filthy cloths into the laundry pile and crawled back into Sam’s arms.
”Are you okay?” He asked softly.
Sam opened his other eye, just a sliver, and smiled wryly. ”I’m great,” he murmured. ”If this was that awesome, I can’t wait for our bonding.”
Gabriel snuggled close to hide his grin against the hollow of Sam’s throat. ”Yeah. Me neither.”
The answer from Michael took nearly nineteen days. When the pigeon finally arrived bearing the sealed scroll, Dean invited Sam, Gabriel and Cassie to read it with him. It had only six words:
”I have no brother named Gabriel.”
The Winter was upon them, and the Midwinter Feast was slowly taking over the minds of the castlefolk. By mutual agreement, Gabriel had taken over the planning of the actual Midwinter Feast with the help of Ellen and Sam.
Cassie was still recovering from the delivery, and breastfeeding two ravenous pups was taking its toll. Combined with the perpetual twilight of Kaamos, it was a feat when the Laird even made it out of bed. Dean’s time was divided between his Lord duties and his family, and, after officiating Gabriel, Sam, and Ellen as the Feast managers, he announced he didn’t want to be bothered with the event any more than was absolutely necessary.
After some negotiating, they had decided to have the pups’ naming feast during the Midwinter Feast as well. Considering that Gabriel and Sam were also to be bonded, the Feast was going to be bigger than ever before. However, the details of the ceremony were still a bit vague. After a thorough rummaging of the archives, they hadn’t been able to find a single recorded event of a new adult member being taken into the clan like what was about to happen with Gabriel. So far, everything had happened through bonding. Even though Sam and Gabriel were going to bond as well, in this case it wasn’t enough.
Finally, they decided on a small, semi-private bonding ceremony and a coming-to-clan announcement along with the twins’ naming ceremony during the Feast.
If he was honest, the plan made Gabriel uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be a part of the twins’ ceremony, not like that. It made him feel like he was imposing, pushing his own agenda to overshadow the heirs of the Grey Castle. When he expressed his concerns, Dean rolled his eyes at him, Sam gave him a hug, and Cassie smacked him in the head for being an idiot.
It felt good to be cared about.
One day, there was a knock, and, before Gabriel even made it to the door, it slammed open to admit a small, short-haired omega with and arctic hare hopping behind her. The omega stormed in and stopped short in front of Gabriel. She looked at him with a critical eye, then nodded.
”Good. You’re about the same height and build as Kevin. You should do okay.”
Gabriel blinked.
”Well? Go on, take your shirt off, young man.”
Gabriel gaped. ”Pardon?”
The omega gave him an assessing look and tsk-ed. ”Take. Your. Shirt. Off. I need to take some measurements.” When Gabriel still didn’t react, she sighed and shook her head. ”Is there something wrong with your hearing? I can’t believe you are this dim. Sam would never mate with you otherwise.”
Gabriel took a step back and raised his hands to placate the omega. ”I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have no idea who you are or why you are here.”
The omega pressed her lips together into a tight line and put her hands on her hips. ”I don’t have time for this silliness. I’m here to take your measurements to prepare your ceremonial tunic. Now, strip.”
Gabriel had no choice but to take his shirt off to avoid the lady ripping it off of him. He stood frozen, eyes wide, as the tiny storm of an omega darted around him, lifting his hands, taking measurements and muttering to herself. Gabriel still had no clue what was happening, but, to preserve the rest of his clothes, he decided to roll with the crazy.
After a good while, the omega nodded, a satisfied little smile on her lips. Gabriel braved putting his shirt back on. He was sure the lady would leave, but she sat on the sofa instead. Bewildered, Gabriel followed her and sat on the other end.
One could never be too sure.
”I’m thinking about green,” she said.
”Okay,” Gabriel answered politely.
”And perhaps some bronze adornment. Depending what Dean says, of course.”
”Of course,” Gabriel echoed.
”Anything else? Any preferences?” The omega tilted her head on the side, looking at him with sharp eyes.
Gabriel had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, so he just shook his head.
”Well then,” she chirped. ”I’ll get to work.” She stood up and let herself out.
Gabriel was left sitting on the sofa, blinking. He was still sitting there, when Sam came in a while later.
”Gabe? Is everything alright? You look a little wild around the eyes.” Sam walked carefully closer and knelt in front of him.
Gabriel blinked several times and shook his head, confused. ”There was this lady… She stormed in and pretty much ripped my shirt off to — to take measurements, and she said something about green and Kevin and bronze and…” his voice trailed off.
Sam grinned. ”Did she have a hare totem?”
Gabriel nodded.
Sam chuckled. ”That would be Linda then. She can be rather feisty sometimes.” Then he sobered. ”Linda’s alpha son, Kevin, died last spring, when we were inspecting a slope that had recurring mudslides. His totem was caught in one and Dean couldn’t get him out in time. Dean —” Sam paused.
Gabriel swallowed, dreading of what was to follow.
”Dean did his duty,” Sam continued. ”He brought Kevin home to his mother. And later, he carried Kevin to the pyre.”
Sam fell silent, and Gabriel reached out to take his hand in his own.
”Dean took it hard. He’s always cared deeply about his people, and I think he still blames himself for Kevin’s death.”
Sam had turned subdued, and Gabriel tugged his hand a little, to prompt him to sit on the sofa instead of kneeling in front of it. They sat together, side by side, holding hands.
”She has been reclusive ever since,” Sam said quietly. ”I mean, I’ve seen her, but she avoids us all. No wonder, really,” Sam sighed.
”So.. Do you think she’s been… I don’t know — ordered?”
Sam gave him an amused look. ”I don’t think anyone can actually order Linda to do anything. Might be that Dean asked her, or she volunteered. Anyway, it’s a good thing she wants to do this.”
”If you say so. She was quite… energetic.”
Sam snorted as an answer and pecked a kiss on top of his head. ”Just wait until you get to know her.”
”Care to tell me where you need all this oil?” Ellen asked, curious. She held several jars in her hands and squinted at the contents.
”Uh… they are for an experiment of mine,” Gabriel offered.
”What kind of an experiment? For baking?”
Gabriel blinked, trying furiously to come up with a plausible explanation. ”Um… not baking as such…”
”Then what? Enlighten me.”
Ellen had this peculiar set on her lips, and Gabriel realized there was no way he could get out of the kitchen without telling her at least something. Resigned, he motioned Ellen to set the jars on the counter and went to find several bowls to try out the mix.
”It’s… ah… rubbing oil,” he tried.
Ellen raised a brow. ”Like for massages?”
”Ah. Sure. Massages. Yes.”
”So you could scent it too? With vanilla, cinnamon, or lavender?”
Gabriel had a fleeting thought about what Sam would think of a lavender and vanilla scented ass. Then he shook his head to get his mind out of the gutter.
”Yeah, why not.”
Ellen nodded. ”That sounds good. So, what are you looking for, exactly? It needs to be slick without excess friction, right?”
Gabriel absolutely did not blush. ”Yeah. Slick is good.”
Ellen pursed her lips, then went to rummage something from the pantry, and returned with several more jars. They set to work, trying different oils and discussing about the differences in the slickness of the blends. Gabriel had a weird floating feeling of it all: he was in the castle kitchen, making lubricant with Matron Ellen.
It might have been mind-blowing hilarious, if it hadn’t been completely insane.
After a couple of hours, they had six different blends to ”try out,” as Ellen said. Gabriel nearly choked at the cheery notion, and pretended he had a speck of flour in his throat. Ellen then proceeded to add a cinnamon stick to one jar, a vanilla cone into another, and a sprig of lavender and rosemary into a third. She put those three jars into a shelf in the pantry, taking the remaining ungarnished jars to Gabriel.
”These are the slickest ones. I thought you would like to have them unscented.”
Gabriel stared.
”Oh, honey. Did you really think I wouldn’t know what you needed it for?” Her smile was wry. ”Try not to chafe Sam out completely, okay?”
If anyone asked, Gabriel did not flee the kitchen. It wasn’t that he was ashamed as such, but the fact that he had made lubricants for his own mating with Ellen, while she knew exactly what they were doing and why was a bit jarring.
But he was sure of one thing: he would never underestimate the Matron again.
To everyone’s relief, the upcoming Feast brightened Cassie’s mind. Figuring out names for the twins and thinking about how the naming ceremony would go had him almost forgetting about Kaamos. The bone-deep fatigue was still there, but Cassie had enough to occupy his mind with to avoid losing himself like during the last Kaamos. It helped the castlefolk to relax as well.
If the Laird noticed the reduced tension in the people near him, he never commented on it.
It had been so long since the previous naming ceremony of a castle heir that Dean had decided to play it loose. Of course, certain ceremonial procedures were in order because of the traditions, but there really was no need for long speeches or a formal gathering in the castle hall. Besides, there wasn’t anyone to confront him, was there?
Ellen and Pamela proclaimed themselves risteadni, godmothers, and directed their full attention to the twins, fussing over their ceremonial garments and whether they should be named wrapped in brand new swaddles or not. There was a lot of eye-rolling and snorting involved (safely behind the women’s backs, of course), but the truth was, the whole clan was equally enamored with the pups.
The twins had already received a respectable pile of gifts from the clan, and Gabriel was man enough to admit he was just as excited, and couldn’t wait to present the glyph blocks to the twins as naming gifts. The blocks had been carefully waxed and polished multiple times, and they shone with a soft, velvety glow whenever the light hit them.
There were few thing Gabriel was unashamedly proud of, but crafting the blocks was absolutely one of his high points.
He met a couple of times with Linda, for further measurements and fittings. The omega was just as perky and exhaustingly energetic every single time, but now that Gabriel was aware of her story, he could see the tight strain of desperation and loneliness underneath her brisk demeanor. Yes, Linda was bossy and commanding and enjoyed having her way, but, more than that, she enjoyed having someone she could mother. To Gabriel, the experience was a novelty to say at least, since he had never had a proper mother figure. He had never been in the receiving end of concerned and affectionate fussing, and he found it oddly soothing.
The ceremonial tunic turned out to be, in fact, green with small bronze coins sewn on the neckline in a simple pattern. It was more robust and modest than the one Cassie had been mated off in (Gabriel had seen the garment before it had been packed off), but it had been originally made for an alpha, after all. Besides, Gabriel’s bond bite wouldn’t be as prominent or politically important as Cassie’s anyway, and there would be no need to display it in the same manner. Which didn’t mean that Gabriel wouldn’t want to show it off.
Because he did.
Until he heard Linda snickering, Gabriel hadn’t even realized he had been posturing in front of the mirror, ogling his neck, and trying to decipher how it might look like with Sam’s bite. Blushing, Gabriel ducked his head and turned away embarrassed at himself for acting like a flustered, recently presented teen in front of a virtual stranger who had decided to act as his stand-in mother.
Linda wouldn’t take any of it, though.
”Oh, stop it,” she huffed. ”I remember what it was like, thinking about how my bondbite would look like. It’s still visible, you know.” She pulled her collar a little to show it and Gabriel peeked at it dutifully, nodding to indicate that he did, in fact, see the faint scar on her skin.
Taking Linda’s hand, Gabriel complimented on her bond bite. They stood silent for a moment, politely ignoring the wet gleam in each other’s eyes.
If someone asked later on what happened during the ceremony, Gabriel could happily say that he didn’t have a clue. He had been too pent up with nerves to pay any real attention to anything but Sam, Cassie, and the twins, but it was probably for the best. Although being taken into the clan was a huge thing, the twins were more important.
Even though Sam was the little brother of the Lord of Grey Castle, his bonding with a beta male wasn’t important enough to ask for the Magistrate to officiate the contract. As the Lord, Dean had the jurisdiction to do it himself, and Gabriel honestly thought that would be the case. However, to their surprise, the person standing in front of them wasn’t Dean but Pamela, her milky white eyes shining in the dim light. When confronted later, Dean brushed their comments aside by merely pointing out that when Pamela wanted something, she got it.
They had the ceremony and signed the contract in the Hall, ”semi-private” meaning that they didn’t invite anyone besides their close kin, but they also didn’t deny the castlefolk from attending. The result was that the whole Hall was full of people, and, when Pamela pricked their fingers with a bronze needle to produce the required drops of blood, their audience cheered.
Gabriel’s jaw dropped and he whirled around, the bronze adornments in his tunic clinking, and stared. All these people were there, to witness his bonding.
It was overwhelming.
He blinked furiously to clear his vision, and failed royally. Then Sam took a gentle hold of his chin and bent down to kiss him deeply. The castlefolk’s cheers erupted in catcalls, whistles, and stomping of feet, and Sam kissed him through it all.
When they finally separated for breath, Gabriel didn’t give a damn about his blurred vision anymore.
When all official business had been taken care of, the crowd moved outside because Sam and Gabriel had decided they would initiate their bond bites later in privacy. The air was cold with the full winter on them, but Dean and Cassie had decided to have their pups named outside by the bonfire anyway, like tradition dictated. Consequently, Gabriel’s coming-to-clan ceremony would also be held there.
The bonfire was enormous. Gabriel had never seen anything like it before, and the dark of the night and the torches placed around it only added to its glory. The clan had gathered around the bonfire, leaving the Lord’s family a wide opening.
There was a table with a little bowl and three juniper branches waiting for them. Like they had agreed, the pups were in Gabriel and Sam’s arms, a fact Gabriel had feebly tried to protest earlier, until Cassie had told him to shut up and act as the ristáhčči, godfather, he was supposed to be. That had shut Gabriel up.
Dean walked towards the table and dipped his forefinger into the bowl. It came out dark with ash paint. He then drew a glyph sohki, family, on the foreheads of both pups and Gabriel, connecting them to the clan and their ancestors.
”We are here to welcome Marcel, Maryann, and Gabriel to our clan. We promise to cherish and love, to protect and provide, as long as we are here.” Dean’s voice rang strong and clear.
”As long as we are here!” The clan answered in a strong chorus. Gabriel felt goosebumps run down his back.
The pups were awake but silent, watching with wide, somber eyes. Gabriel wondered if they understood what was happening: how the glyphs and the ceremony bound them as a part of a chain of generations, linking them to their ancestors of old. He felt humbled to be part of the ceremony, to become part of the living tradition of his new home.
Dean offered the juniper branches to both pups and Gabriel, and then he started to sing. Gabriel’s jaw dropped at the song and Dean’s voice. He remembered that Cassie had mentioned Dean having an exceptionally good voice, but before tonight, Gabriel hadn’t had the pleasure of hearing it.
One by one, other voices were joined to the song, and Gabriel recognized the song the clan had sung to the pups right after they had been born: Riegádus lávlla, Song of Birth. From the corner of his eye, he saw Cassie closing his eyes and enjoying the melody, and Gabriel followed his brother’s example. The pup in his arms was calm and content, lulled in a trance-like state by the rise and fall of the music around them.
Gabriel lost himself in the song and felt himself being home. The peculiar feeling lasted long after the song ended, and Gabriel didn’t really hear the speech Dean gave. When Sam nudged him a little, he was jostled out of his reverie, and looked around, blinking. At Dean’s nod, he stepped forward, side-by-side with Sam, and they threw the juniper branches into the bonfire, the branches of the sacred tree as an offering to the ancestors.
He was still somewhat dazed, when Sam guided him back inside to eat. Dean and Cassie had retrieved their pups at some point, and were about to retire early. The castlefolk would eat and drink throughout the night, and Dean had stated his utmost confidence that his people would manage without their Lord’s presence.
The food was probably excellent and the drinks plentiful, but Gabriel wasn’t sure, because he was feeling nervous about the night. He knew there was no need, but he couldn't help it: he was to be bonded and seal the bond during their mating.
This time, it would actually mean, not something, but everything.
A good while later, Sam wrapped his fingers loosely around Gabriel’s wrist and quirked a brow. Gabriel smiled as an answer to the silent question, and they slipped out of the hall silently, leaving the castlefolk to their celebrating.
By joint decision, Sam’s chambers had been refurnished and turned into their shared chambers because they were more spacious, and, honestly, Gabriel practically lived there already. But this night it would truly become their space.
Gabriel’s fox trailed after them, and, when they reached the chambers, Gabriel was surprised to see Sam’s totem waiting for them. The snowy owl usually preferred being outside, no matter the weather, but now he was perched on the sidearm of the sofa. As soon as the red totem entered, the owl nailed him with his intense look, and, for a tense moment, the totems just stared each other. Then the owl shook his wings wide, hopped onto the sofa, and cocked his head, shooting the fox a sideways glance. The fox stretched, scritched his ear while standing, and then shook himself before he jogged to the sofa, hopped on it, and lay down in a heap.
Neither of the betas missed how the fox’s tail curled around the owl or how the owl leaned on the contact.
Leaving the totems to their first real embrace, they made their way to the bed. They undressed each other with unhurried moves, peppering the revealed skin with kisses and caresses. When they were naked, Sam kissed him deeply, and Gabriel melted into his embrace. Without breaking the kiss, he guided Sam to lay down on his back and straddled his hips, letting Sam’s cock rub snugly against the cleft of his ass.
”How —?” Sam breathed in between kisses.
”Like this,” Gabriel murmured against his lips.
He took out the jar with slickest oil blend, poured a gratuitous amount on his hand, and reached his hand behind him. He started breaching and stretching himself carefully, making sure to brush Sam’s cock every once in a while. He took his time — it had been a long time since Gabriel had done this, and, no matter how much he wanted Sam, he wasn’t an idiot: Sam was significantly bigger than any other man he had ever been with, and Gabriel really wasn’t into hurting himself tonight.
I didn’t know it could feel like this, he thought, as he slicked Sam’s cock properly and started slowly sinking down. I had no idea.
Sam’s eyes were so full of emotion that Gabriel had to avert his eyes. Then Sam called his name, voice hoarse and broken, and Gabriel’s eyes were drawn into his. He wasn’t sure what Sam saw, but whatever it was, it made the younger beta surge up into a kiss. It caused Gabriel’s concentration to slip, and he slid the rest of the way down, letting out a muffled cry of pain.
Sam jerked his head up, eyes wide and startled. ”Gabe? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop?”
Gabriel shook his head and buried his face in Sam’s neck, breathing in his scent and trying to relax. The sudden jolt had hurt quite a bit, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to give up now! He clutched his arms around Sam and waited. Sam moved to sit up properly and held him tightly through his trembling, stroking the small of his back and rubbing his hips soothingly.
Eventually, the pain subsided, leaving only a steady throb behind, all puns intended. Sam was still looking at him with concern, and Gabriel was determined to change that. He moved his hips tentatively, hissing a little at the lingering pain, and kissed away Sam’s worried questions.
Little by little, he picked up speed, and Sam’s concerned frown melted away, replaced by fluttering eyes and flushed cheeks. Gabriel watched with satisfaction how Sam slowly lost himself into the haze of their mating.
Before he was lost himself, Gabriel guided Sam’s nose to his scent gland, nuzzling Sam’s in return. Being betas, neither of them would have a heat, but the resulting hormonal rush would still serve them well in the coming hours.
”Bite me,” Gabriel panted in Sam’s ear, before he bit down on Sam’s scent gland.
When Sam complied, only moments after, they both cried out at the feeling. It hurt, but it didn’t, and then Gabriel didn’t care anymore. It didn’t take long for Sam’s breathing to change and his hips start to jerk in a telltale way, and, as a clue, Gabriel reached in between them to grip his cock. They came only moments apart with muffled sobs, latched on each other’s necks.
Spent and trembling, Gabriel had just enough sense to tip them sideways, leaving him partially on top of Sam, who was still inside him. ”Blanket,” he mumbled, and Sam obliged, pulling the blankets over them.
The beginnings of their bond hummed somewhere deep inside them, drawing strength from their feelings, growing stronger with every heartbeat. It was safety and love.
It was home.
EPILOGUE: MIDSUMMER
”Gabe? A pigeon arrived. There’s a letter for you,” Dean hollered when Gabriel was walking past his office.
Gabriel stopped at his tracks and frowned. Who would send him a letter? Garth wasn’t supposed to check in until next moon, and everyone else he knew was home. Confused, he stepped into Dean’s office and took the sealed scroll Dean held out to him.
The paper was thin and cheap, but he recognized the handwriting and froze. Through their bond, he felt Sam’s concern.
”Gabe?” Dean asked tentatively. ”Do you want me to get Sam and Cas?”
Gabriel didn’t look up when he answered absently, ”Yeah, sure, whatever.”
It didn’t take long for Cassie and Sam to arrive, worry evident in their eyes. Gabriel had sat down on a chair, and was holding the letter with both hands, staring at his own name scrawled with the familiar, crooked style. Sam knelt in front of him, while Castiel and Dean hovered close.
”Who is it from?” Castiel asked.
Gabriel gave a small smile. ”Yeah. You wouldn’t recognize the handwriting. It’s from Abner.”
Sam glanced up and shared a look with Dean. ”Abner? That beta brother of yours who bonded with a beta male? Why would he send you a letter?”
Gabriel shook his head slowly. ”I don’t know. We haven’t been in contact since he bonded with his mate and Michael shut him out.”
He took a deep breath and cracked the seal. It crumbled under his fingers and scattered on his lap, but he didn’t really notice it. The letter wasn’t a long one, but the rows were close to each other, making it hard to read. Gabriel squinted and spelled it through, then lowered his hands on his lap, staring at the letter for a moment, saying nothing. Sam touched his hand lightly, and Gabriel handed the letter over to his mate.
Sam read it through, then looked at Gabriel. At his nod, Sam started to read.
”Dear Brother,
I know we haven’t been in contact for a long time, and this letter probably took you by surprise. I know I should have looked for you sooner, but… after my row with Michael, things were strained. I didn’t want to make things difficult for you. So, imagine my surprise, when I asked for you and Michael told me we didn’t have a brother named Gabriel. For a while, I was afraid you were dead, but then Mother approached me and told me you had run. She also told me the reason why Michael told me we weren’t brothers anymore. It seems that congratulations are in order. I’m happy for you, Gabriel.
I’m very glad you are alive. Please give our best to Castiel and his family. I hope that someday we can meet again.
- Abner and Alfie”
The office was silent. Then Dean cleared his throat.
”You know, when I agreed to mate with Cas, I wasn’t aware that the deal included both of his beta brothers too. Oh, well. The more the merrier.” Dean’s voice was dry, but Gabriel saw the little smirk and the wink the alpha offered when he clapped Gabriel on the shoulder on his way out. Cassie rolled his eyes at Dean, before he bent to give Gabriel a hug.
”It would be nice if they could visit sometime,” Cassie said with a soft smile and followed Dean out, leaving Sam and Gabriel in the office.
Gabriel sat, silent, and pursed his lips. ”Well. This was unexpected,” he then stated, frowning at the letter that Sam had lowered onto Dean’s desk.
”Unexpected doesn’t mean unwanted,” Sam said mildly.
Their bond was calm on Sam’s part, and Gabriel rested his nerves on the serenity radiating from his mate. He stood up and stepped into Sam’s waiting arms, burying himself in the familiar strength and scent. He was home with his family, but, like he had learned, family meant so much more than blood. He thought about Abner’s words and smiled.
Perhaps, someday, they would meet again.